Shorter GOP on an all too regular basis: "You should still vote for us because we feel really bad when we give in to the Democrats."
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 18, 2013
Prius driver: "I get 70 MPG. What do you get?" Me: "Laid." Merica.
— Cloyd Rivers (@CloydRivers) October 18, 2013
hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
— chuuch (@ch000ch) October 19, 2013
It's not over yet but Detroit is in great shape. (The team, not the town, of course. The town's doomed and their citizens should flee.)
— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) October 20, 2013
I am the Michael Johnson of forgetting athlete's names
— michael (@michaeljhudson) October 20, 2013