Archive of entries posted on 12th January 2015

Wisdom of the Day: Shooting Mustache Doogie Netflix Pantsing Cross Turn Victims Socialism Mailmen Gervais Foreign

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Je Suis Obama

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My man in State has come through for me again and has the real reasons why Obama didn’t attend or send anyone to the rally in France to support the victims of the terrorist attack there. Here they are:

  • His Magic 8-Ball said, “Try again.” He tried it again, and it said, “Allahu akbar.” He spent the rest of the day hiding under his bed.
  • Michelle wouldn’t let him go because French food contains too much saturated fat.
  • He always felt France’s unofficial flag, the white flag of surrender, was racist.
  • He let Joe handle the itinerary and ended up in Paris, Idaho.
  • French poodle isn’t his favorite. Kind of stringy.
  • He thought it was just another one of those racist Tea Party astoturf events.
  • He sent a delegation of GITMO detainees instead.
  • Since his reelection, whenever he goes to world events, the other leaders make him sit at the little petty dictator table.
  • He’s never been able to forgive the French for giving us the Statue of Liberty.
  • Escargot is murder.
  • He was afraid he might offend ISIS.
  • They won’t even let him speak at European events anymore.  They just say if he can’t say anything worth the carbon dioxide, don’t say anything at all.
  • He finally found out what the French President’s nickname for him, La Tete de Merde, meant.
  • African American artists are underrepresented in the Louvre.
  • He wasn’t invited.

Random Thoughts: Free, Islamic Violence, and Golden Globes

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I don’t use emojis. Back in my day we had a colon and a parentheses and that showed all the emotion we needed.

It should have been in the Constitution that the government isn’t allowed to use the word “free.”

When people are so sensitive to publishing things that offends Muslims, isn’t that Islamaphobia: fear of being killed by Muslims?

It really seems like the Middle East needs a complete reorg.

So are we supposed to analyze what the 2000 slaughtered did to provoke Boko Haram?

So are the left saying that if we offend them enough, they’ll start randomly murdering people?

I think it’s a good policy that when you murder or support murder, you lose the right to have your feelings cared about.

When the left hear a story about a woman being executed in the Middle East for being raped, do they say, “Maybe she drew a cartoon.”?

The Muslim world is full of inexcusable violence, but the contention is we’re the unlucky ones who get the violence that has logic to it.

12 people get gunned down over there, that’s just mindless violence. If it’s over here, then suddenly there’s logic to it.

Not offending religions is fine as long it’s even. If you offend Christians but avoid offending Muslims, the message is violence works.

Everyone who thinks we provoked this needs to explain at what point they would start murdering innocent people.

I like Jesus. Pretty big stretch to act like Jesus ever wanted you to hurt anybody.

“This is the march for free speech? Oh, I guess I’m in the next march, then.” -Eric Holder

It would really help people of lots of different cultures get along if we got rid of all other languages than English.

Neocons are conservatives who can dodge bullets in slow motion.

Golden Globes holds no interest for me. Only thing I watched in 2014 were a couple vines and instructional DVD on my new coffee pot.

I don’t even own a TV. I have ten different devices I can watch Netflix on, though.

I’ve considered making an award winning movie. I just have to know do Golden Globes and Oscars come with cash prizes?

I’m both really interested to see what will happen in its House of Cards 3rd season and think it’s actually not that great a show.