
[source]
A new report shows that 87% of new Obamacare enrollees are getting government assistance to lower their premiums.
Which they sorely needed after all government’s assistance in raising their premiums.
[High Praise! to 4of7 of Little Worlds]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
[on date]
ME: I like my women like I like my wine
WAITER: [arrives] Anything to drink?
ME: [clears throat] One glass of very hot wine please
— Joe West (@joejwest) January 12, 2015
Yes, mom! I can too make dinner without reading a recipe.
*dunks oreos in glass of milk
— Wicked Jen (@wickedsuga) January 12, 2015
Every man must decide if he’s an “anyone but Jeb” guy or an “anyone but Mitt” guy
— Allahpundit (@allahpundit) January 12, 2015
I just burned 1000 calories by forgetting my pizza in the oven.
— erinsaurus rex (@erinberrypie) January 12, 2015
The saddest sentence I've ever heard is: "I briefly had a dog."
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 13, 2015
A new report shows that President Obama’s Amnesty Executive Order will cost $48 million a year.
Amazing. These clowns can’t even do nothing without it costing us a fortune.
“This is what makes America exceptional. We welcome strivers, and we welcome dreamers from all across the world.” —President Obama
“And once they get here, WHAM! We crush those dreams with taxes & bureaucracy!”
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Instead of going to the anti-terror rally in Paris, President Obama…
This isn’t a real MAD magazine cover. And that’s part of the joke. Mort Todd is the former editor of Cracked, and as part of support for the Charlie Hebdo magazine, he zinged both the Moslem terrorists and the wimpy American media.
While MAD magazine does offer some good, biting satire from time to time, this MAD cover isn’t one of them. Perhaps MAD will step up. In the meantime, I’m sure they can appreciate this from a competitor.

[Red State, via Don Surber]
Problem with religious liberty is it gets in way of important secular principle of the government being able to force you to do stuff.
Joe Biden couldn’t make it to the Paris march as he was busy with something important and had Shrinky Dinks in the oven.
Know how much money we’re wasting a year turning Joe Biden into a cyborg? $80 for construction paper and markers so he can make design plans.
For a comedian, how much time should you spend making fun of things versus telling people what isn’t funny and shouldn’t be made fun of?
I got my Texas driver’s license. I guess that means I’m officially a Texan now. Yoo-hee! …as we Texans say.
I’m a conservative Christian. I’m constantly offended by everything, and yet I’ve barely ever murdered anyone.
I don’t even know the last time I’ve watched a prime time show without being offended.
I’ve looked into feminism, but it still seems like the patriarchy has much more to offer me.
Is there a website that lists all the aspects of white privilege? Like are there discounts I’m missing?
I think a good secular way to refer to the founder of Islam would be “Muhammad Prime.”
Asked on NPR whether he could envision opening an embassy in Iran during his final two years in office, Obama replied, “I never say never”.
Now ask him about the Keystone Pipeline.