Apparently Obama is miffed that Boehner invited Netanyahu to speak to Congress about the Israel situation without asking for His Excellency’s approval first.  My insiders can tell us why Obama is so upset that Netanyahu will be coming:

• With such late notice, he’ll never have the community organized in time.
• None of the yorkies in his freezer are kosher.
• Just looking at the pictures in The Protocols of the Elders of Zion gave him recurring nightmares.
• He already avoided Paris because he was scared of terrorists, and now this?
• Netanyahu’s visit only violates protocol, and Obama is more interested in violating the Constitution.
• He’s never forgiven the Mossad for the code name they gave him: The Fresh Dunce of DC.
• When he visited Israel, Netanyahu kept photobombing all his selfies.
• He’s pretty sure Netanyahu found out that he wrote “She’s a great girl, and I bet she would have been an Obama supporter” in the Anne Frank House guestbook.
• He’s still embarrassed about when Netanyahu had him over for the Passover Feast, and he sat down in the chair reserved for Elijah and kept commenting to Mrs. Netanyahu that he thought her yeast must have turned cause the bread hadn’t risen.
• Whenever he has met with Netanyahu in the past, Michelle always complained that his balls seem to be deflated below regulation afterwards.
• He doesn’t want Netanyahu to find out he has been working with Bloomberg to draft a new tax on deli meats.
• He’s afraid that Netanyahu found out Obamacare doesn’t cover health risks posed by Qassam rockets or suicide vests.
• He’s never been able to look Netanyahu in the eye since he showed up to his grandson’s Bar Mitvah drunk and kept interrupting the ceremony and singing, ‘Hava nagila, have a tequila’ and ‘If you were a rich man, I would tax you tax you tax you tax you….’
• Jimmy Carter told him recently that Netanyahu finds mixed-race souls particularly tasty.
• He’s always felt uncomfortable around Netanyahu since Benjamin returned the Christmas gift he sent him, a membership in the bacon of the month club and an ipod with Obama reading his favorite passages from the Quran.
• The Mossad traced the Amazon 1-star review of Schindler’s List to Obama’s account, and he fears reprisals.
• Joe’s a big enough menace without the aphrodisiac gum Netanyahu always gives him.
• He’s afraid Netanyahu hasn’t forgiven him yet for slipping his dry cleaning receipt, Snickers wrappers and pocket lint into the Wailing Wall.
• What need is there for him to visit? Didn’t his Presidency already solve all those problems?