21 Comments

  1. Star Wars director J.J. Abrams said that the most important thing about Episode 7 is…

    he’s getting a paid a LOT of money for it.

    gratuitously naked wookies.

    that Episodes 1-6 were actually dream sequences as Anakin steps out of Padme’s shower.

  2. Star Wars director J.J. Abrams said that the most important thing about Episode 7 is…

    that it includes “safe zones” in case the microaggressions of the Republic trigger a negative emotional response in the Jedi.

  3. …Is that it starts in episode 9, jumps via flashback to episodes 2 and 3 minus Jar Jar, then back to episode 8, which is needed to justify what happens on Tatooine in episode 4, finally wrapping up in episode 7 revealing that Darth Vader is actually a time traveler from the future, or the past. Need to see episode 10 for clarity on that…and we see where the jawas REALLY came from

  4. …the bar scene is in a gay bar, and Luke, who now wants to be called Lucy, has two fathers. And the the galaxy welcomed all creatures, species and Mexicans. And in a key plot twist, any biped claiming to be Syrian. Plus the gun free Death Stars are peacefully defeated by hippies sticking giant flowers in their thermal exhaust ports.

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