Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
ticket prices
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss 15 bucks goodbye.
Now where have I heard THAT before?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccfbw2RJ3ow&w=560&h=315%5D
Yep… about 12 bucks later.
Trump Solo: Stay sharp. There’s two more networks coming in. They’ll try and cut us off.
Lukewarm: Why don’t you outrage them? I thought they said this thing was vast.
Trump Solo: Watch your mouth kid, or you’re gonna find yourself voting Warren as the most conservative. We’ll be safe enough once we get the Trump into cyberspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We’ll “loser” ’em.
…
Trump Solo: Here’s where the fun begins!
Op-Ed Whine: How long before you can make the jump to light comedy?
Trump Solo: It’ll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the nasty computer.
Lukewarm: Are you kidding? At the rate they’re gaining…
Trump Solo: Traveling through hyperpartisanship isn’t like dusting crops, boy!
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
America is the bad guy.
Dang it, misclicked the “tofu” button.
And the good guys: scientologists.
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
well I’m not saying the Maverick changed his call sign to Alien but… he changed his call sign to Alien.
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
There is no change. Both movies suck. So much for Hope & Change.
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
the new “Thelma and Louise” ending for Mav and Goose.
…they find Loving Feelings.
Damn, even as I typed it.
…for each other.
The biggest change from the original in the new “Top Gun” movie…
They found that lovin’ feelin’
…is the change to “I’m OK-You’re OK Gun”…
Original: Tom Cruise is upside-down over the Russians and gets a Polaroid.
Remake: Tom Cruise is upside-down over the Russians and gets a hemmorhoid.
Goose gets a polaroid of Maverick upside-down over a Russian hooker.
So a guy named Stalin says.
So named guy named Stalin says: Dark humor is a lot like food…not everyone gets it.
…all the training is done in simulators until sustainable warplanes are invented…
…the enemy being prepared for becomes white supremacists…
..top pilots become the first class of the new Space Force…
The Russians are using T-Rex’s with Rocket Launchers.
The control tower in the fly-bys is…….. a….. large…. wooden…. badger.
…all the Hispanics take off running every time Iceman enters the room
. . . is the U.S. government being the ones taking Huawei to the danger zone.
The US Aircraft carrier… the USS Obama, gets sunk in the end.
The crew couldn’t sail her and she sunk in port because someone thought the scuttle cocks were racist.
… there’s a machine gun that shoots chainsaws and a laser rocket launcher and bombs that explode into tigers made of fire and the bad guys have an army of flying robot luchadors that can only be stopped by even flyinger robot luchadors but then the Earth turns out to be infested by a giant magic alien parasite so they have to team up to keep it from making a black hole and everything was part of an evil conspiracy by Western Union and just when everything looks hopeless the hero reveals that he’s not left-handed.
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT …you left out the part where Cruise purposefully gets swallowed by a Luchador to retrieve his rocket launcher that the Luchador had swallowed.
I wouldn’t even wait until discount night to see that movie in the theater
When they ask for volunteers for a dangerous mission, Maverick says, “I’m your huckleberry.”
Drogon flies off with the dead heroine as the credits roll.
The colostomy bag add on
to the G suits
…is the handicap placard hanging from Mav’s rear view mirror.
…there is Russian collusion.