Today is Columbus Day.
Sure. Go ahead. Celebrate it, you pigs.
If you thought that Columbus was a symbol of conquest and genocide to the Native Americans, well, think of what he did to the Jews.
That’s right. Just in case you didn’t know, his expeditions were funded with money stolen from Jews murdered in the Inquisition started by the paranoid and bloodthirsty Ferdinand, his vicious Castille whore Isabella, and their perverted Papal tool Torquemada.
The King of Unified Iberia wasn’t content with just the Conquest of Grenada and the expulsion of the Moors from Europe, mind you. Nope. Not enough for Ferdinand, who saw more enemies than Richard Nixon in a house of mirrors. He just had to go ahead and vent his rage upon anybody who used a lunar calendar and passed on heaping helpings of pork.
So all that gold Columbus used to build his ships, hire men, provision his crews, and pay for his frilly hat… that’s right: Jewish blood money.
When he came back, Ferdinand (spit!) and Isabella (rinse and spit!) had even more money for him to go back and eander around once again.
And do we Jews get credit? Do we get any props or attaboys for our involuntary investment in this Genoan tool’s sailing around the Atlantic?
Heck no.
This is why on Columbus Day, the Children of Sepharad have the G-d given right to punch a Spaniard in the nose. But only full-blood Sephardi, of course. Half-bloods are permitted to slap them with an open hand, and those with minimal Sephardic blood are entitled to glare at them with hostility for no less than two minutes and no greater than five.
Or my name isn’t Sol Lorenzo de la Zimon Clemente “Taco Bell” Fonseca.
(Okay, it isn’t.)
The man is always out to get us Lair!!! DAMN THE MAN!
O…. K….
getting a little weird in here. I’m going for a walk.
Sure you’re not Dutch?
I thought Columbus was secretly Jewish and the conquest of the new world was part of a global neo-con conspiracy to take the Indians land for tobacco.
No blood for tobacco!
“saw more enemies than Richard Nixon in a house of mirrors”
hahaha
Funny stuff Lawrence…er, I mean not Sol Lorenzo de la Zimon Clemente “Taco Bell” Fonseca.
So, following your logic, that would mean that we italians have the G-d given right to punch a Jew in the nose for demanding a pound of flesh? 😛
If I’m half Portuguese and half Jewish, and I can prove that my very very distant cousin on the Portuguese side was Columbus’ wife, do I glare at myself in the mirror? 😉
So, are all Papal ‘tools’ named ‘Torquemada’?
And why would you name something you’re not even supposed to think about?
Why not, Wacky Hermit? I’m half Irish and half English, and every St. Patrick’s Day I beat myself up. (I gotta million of ’em, folks. I knew a guy who was half Black and half Japanese, and every December 7th he’d attack Pearl Bailey.)
Yes this is sort of funny, but I am tired of the Spanish getting a bad rap for their successful attempt to avoid a Christian religious war. Here is the proof:
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition
RACISTS!
According to my Trivial Pursuit answer key, they expelled the Moops.