So if you took the Daily Kos, and instead of writing diaries, you have the people come up and say that on a pulpit, I guess that’s basically Obama’s former church Trinity. And you can’t say they don’t represent a wide assortment of views there because they even invited over some cracker priest to preach inane, race-baiting political views.
So what caused Obama to finally leave Trinity United Church of Crazy? Did one day start talking about how Jesus died for everyone’s sins and Obama was like, “I’ve been attending this church for twenty years, and I’ve never heard such craziness. Leave the Jesus talk for the red states. I came here to hear a paranoid rant about whitey!”
Know what Obama should try? Kabbalah. I hear its big in Hollywood.
Anyway, word is Obama has now left a ton of groups just in case to avoid any more controversy.
GROUPS OBAMA HAS FORMERLY BROKEN TIES WITH
* Weight Watchers
* The New Weather Underground
* Colombia House
* The Decepticons
* An exclusive country club that doesn’t allow crackers to join (or the Jews, of course)
* The Foot Clan
* The Ku Klux Klan (he attended meeting with his grandma)
* Gold’s Gym
* The Super Adventure Club
* Team Rocket
* The state of Illinois
* The Democratic Party
* The Obama family
Groups he will soon break ties with to better campaign against McCain:
* NBC, MSNBC and Kieth Olbemann’s motor mouth and Chris Matthews’ orgasmic leg
* George Soros’s propaganda money bag
* Daily Kos dickless idiots
* The Associated Press policial bias machine
* Drudge (go figure)
OK, maybe not.
People and groups Obama will denounce:
* MENSA (too populist)
* Mothers Against Drunk Driving (too divisive)
* Code Pink (too hawkish)
* La Raza (for hanging out with Lindsay Graham)
* U.S. Senate (for praying before sessions)
* U.S. Government (for not spending enough)
* Pizza Hut (for not enough grease on their pizza)
* Michelle (for hating his racist grand-whitey)
* Granny Dunham (for raising him to be a turd)
Do you think Team Rocket will be able to catch Pikachu now that their token Blackemon has quit?
There’s one group that Obama will never break with: COBRA. He could no more disown Destro than he could Reverend Wright.
Thanks for the glimmer of hope there FrankJ. For a few split seconds Illinois was right with no more Obamaramadingdonghopeychangey.
Thank you for the sliver of joy in this bleak world.
Super Adventure Club. LOL.
I give an extra three stars for the random Pokemon reference.
Hey, if Obama broke from the State of Illinois, I may have to give him another look. Hell, I’d even vote for Dick Durbin if he pledged to withdrawal from the state after the election.
Then all that would stand between us and a free state is Rod Blagojevich, Richard Daley, Todd Stroger–heck, the whole Cook County Board of Commissioners, the Democratic Party of Illinois, the Illinois Republican Party, Bill Foster, Rahm Emanuel, Jesse Jackson Jr., . . . hm… this may be harder than I thought…
You left out NAMBLA – those boys were just too old for my highly-developed elistist tastes. If Michelle looked like a really young boy, maybe she wouldn’t be so bitter.
Team Rocket! lol.
You’d think he’d disavow being the icon for The Mickey Mouse Club.
I’m Barack Obama and I want to tell John McCain that “you complete me and I just can’t quit you” but they would call me a homo and run me out of town…but I really don’t want to run for POTUS cause it’s really really really scary and I’m a real dumbass but being John McCain’s VP would be totally RAD!
the decepticon is noteworthy
Everything else? Maybe.
George Soros’ propaganda money bag? Never.
Other groups Obama is considering breaking ties with:
-The Legion of Doom
-The Order of Stonecutters
-Galactor
-The Sinister Six