10. “Are you sure we can’t just program it in Fortran?
9. “Don’t worry; I hired a professional Hollywood script supervisor to help fix the java script.”
8. “My computer crashed; buy me a new one.”
7. “We’re making great progress. …Oh, I thought you were talking about Candy Crush. No, there is no way this website will be ready on time.
6. “What browsers does it need to work in? Because so far it’s only working in Netscape.”
5. “What’s HTML? Is it anything like NSFW?”
4. “Aren’t eventually they’re going to catch on that we’re embezzling hundreds of millions to make a $2 million website? Oh yeah; government.”
3. “This website should be able to handle millions of people as long as they each wait their turn.”
2. “The first page loaded; I guess it’s ready.”
And the number one thing overheard from the Obamacare website design…
“The directive is we make this website as competent, functional, and popular as the Obama presidency.”
“My nephew set me up on Facebook like a champ. Let’s get him to fix the ObamaCare website.”
“I’ll need an unlimited supply of Xena tapes and Hotpockets.”
It was programmed by Canadians. Blame Canada!
Wait! Thank you, Canada!
“Mr. President…you DID build that…”
#10 – I could
@5 RD–watch your commas in your format statements!
The site works as much as the average Obama voter, how ironic.
“This pig just threw another exception!”
“You got those new unavailable screens ready?”
“Oh, man, this thing is like Jurassic Park! You know, with that guy, Nedry!”
#10 It’s why I gave up programming and became a History Major in college.
Holy sh…..
“Fifty contractors can’t go wrong–the more the merrier!”
Aaaghhh! I just dropped the Hollerith card deck! It’ll take days to get them back in order!
“This is so not going on my resume.”
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Mission Accomplished!
“They want us to make it look like the applicant’s fault so we can issue the fine right away.”
“All fixed! Every link now goes right to the 404 page!”
@13 DC–one firm had erased the mention of working on healthcare.gov from their own website, but put it back soon afterward (at least according to buzzfeed).
#10 I also…and in Pascal, and COBOL.
I also heard that the motto of the company that created the site was:
Never test for an error condition that you don’t know how to correct.
11. Losing is fun!
Your government atwerk.
#10 me too…. if you could transport me 30 years into the past. Now, I can map your printer, but that is about it. ;p
If we add some blinking lights , preferably ones that blink in sequence, it should work. Or at least give the impression it’s a big powerful computer from the 60’s.
The site would work fine if people would just remember to throw the magic orb…
@19, on testing for error conditions…
The best photo on this I saw was the Dos Equis guy (world’s most interesting man) with the caption.
“I don’t often test software, but when I do it’s in production”
rodney dill:
Someone sent me that picture at work yesterday. Where do you work again?
@26 – I work in the Detroit area. That picture is all over the internet if you google the caption.
Yeah, I just kinda thought it funny that someone sent me that and then you mentioned it.
Basil, rodney dill,
I have that poster hanging up at work too.
@28 – Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean everyone isn’t out to get you.
Who’s preachin’? F— you! Send money!
Sorry, the Reverend Richard Hell took over my laptop for a moment.