Straight Line of the Day: Obama Just Proposed a New Piece of Legislation…

Posted on June 29, 2012 12:00 pm

[High Praise! to T-dog]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama just proposed a new piece of legislation…

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45 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Obama Just Proposed a New Piece of Legislation…”

  1. DamnCat says:

    …declaring December 25th “Barack Obama Day”.

  2. Son of Bob says:

    …and an angel got its period.

  3. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    You spelled piece of S*%T wrong.

  4. t-dog says:

    Declaring every day “National Barack Obama gets to Golf Day”

    Making the Constitution the Unconstitution

    Making it a “right” that everyone has an Obama Shrine in their living room, with a tax (read individual mandate) for those that don’t

  5. Roadking says:

    ..that makes it illegal to teach the Constitution in school.

  6. plentyobailouts says:

    occupant just proposed a new piece of legislation… If you don’t bow to me peasant, you will pay a tax.

  7. JAGernaut says:

    …mandating that every individual must purchase 30 pounds of arugula every week in an effort to subsidize arugula farmers in the Mediterranean.

  8. Iowa Jim says:

    requiring every American to be accompanied by a unicorn at all times

  9. ealye says:

    . . .Outlawing america forever, the drone strikes begin in fifteen minutes.

  10. Jimmy says:

    …and the American people defecated a brick.

  11. Burmashave says:

    …and even the Democrats wouldn’t vote for it.

  12. Chip says:

    … And Nancy Pelosi cheered!

  13. Harvey says:

    Son of Bob – You bastard!

    I’m alone in the house and I laughed out loud, now my cats are looking at me like I’m nuts.

    More so than usual, I mean…

  14. zzyzx says:

    …And once I feel a great need to become gambrinous tonight.

  15. Crabby Old Bat says:

    . . . taxing individuals who fail to purchase abortions for themselves or for their families, hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars for each non-abortion-purchasing-year, in order to support “access to” (i.e., 100% free) abortions for college sluts students. Oh, no, wait, that already is a law. “It’s Constitutional, b!tches!”

  16. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … and you’re racist if you oppose it

    … but no worries: he’ll only enforce it if he feels like it

    … and it’s not a tax… but it is a tax…. but it’s not a tax…. but it is a tax….

  17. Maxamillian says:

    Outlawing The Constitution.

  18. Went West says:

    Oh, wonderful, now we must pass it so we can read it!

  19. Darth Bubba says:

    taxing people for buying medical insurance as well.

  20. Darth Bubba says:

    and taxing people for not buying Dreams of My Father.

  21. Went West says:

    Senate: “Now that’s a really silly piece of legislation you’ve got there, Mr President”.
    Obama: “Yes, but I think that with your help I could make it even more silly.”

  22. Lactose the Intolerant says:

    instituting Obama Standard Time in which every equinox the clocks are moved randomly forward or backward the amount of hours equivalent to Obama’s sinlge d20 roll + his Charisma modifier. It’s for the environment. And the children.

  23. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …actually, somebody else proposed it, he’s just taking credit.

    …because it’s the right thing to do.

    …mandating that people let him be clear so he doesn’t have to constantly ask permission.

    …mandating American buy a teleprompter (as a tax) so he’ll always have access to one (executive privilege).

  24. John says:

    declaring the US national dish to be Terrier Tartare with a puppy smoothie chaser.

  25. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … and the anchors at NBC now need a change of underwear

    … and “What a fantastic idea!” thought nobody at all.

    … and the American people are starting to wonder if they can cross the border south

  26. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … declaring it legal for any past or current POTUS to declare a ‘mulligan’ on any stroke on any hole (that’s what she said)

  27. PatriotMomofTwo says:

    ….declaring that anyone who doubts anyone who says they are 1/32 Cherokee has to sit at a table with Joe Biden and drink a light beer.

    Nooooooo!

  28. John says:

    declaring Kenya the 58th state of the union.

  29. arik says:

    …and that thrill up Chris Matthews leg? It’s moved…

  30. Dohtimes says:

    … that it now is officially called a Sh@# Hemorrhage and must be treated medically or you have to pay a tax. Dying to pee may fall under Death Panel rules if you are wearing Depends, otherwise you have to hold it or Holder will hold you responsible for tax evasion if you don’t die.

  31. Went West says:

    “…and we can still smell it.”

  32. CarolyntheMommy says:

    and it was Bush’s fault.

  33. Critter says:

    …declaring March “Canine Cuisine” month.

  34. John says:

    declaring that the economy will now begin growing at a constant 5% and unemployment no longer exists. Yes, it’s that easy. And next Michelle’s bill: ending the overweight crisis by declaring that Earth’s gravity is reduced by 25%.

  35. Lactose the Intolerant says:

    outlawing dinosaurs with rocket launchers and moon-nuking.

  36. D-lo says:

    And now I cant find my dog!

  37. Lactose the Intolerant says:

    forbidding the cloning of Andrew Breitbart.

  38. blarg says:

    …that will replace the Bill or Rights with Sharia law

    …that declares him Super-Duper President which means he can play with ALL the Legos without sharing, he can stay up past his bedtime, and he can have as many pudding snacks as he wants

    …and then he returned to fingerpainting

  39. Fly says:

    … that mandates anyone who invents a time machine must go back in time and fix the economy. This will have surprisingly widespread support as a valid use of tax powers and Obama will win a second term — not because of this idiotic bill since time travel is impossible, but because it will distract people from Obama changing his name to iconseed, so that whenever anyone addresses him they’ll say, “President, I concede”. SCOTUS will find that while Romney did not intend to concede, it literally sounded like he did.

  40. Fly says:

    Dang, CarolyntheMommy pulling out the that’s what she said. Well done.

  41. fedup says:

    … releasing Justice Roberts’ mother from GITMO

  42. phreshone says:

    and Bill Ayers didn’t write it for him…

  43. phreshone says:

    declaring himself Dog Catcher For Life…

  44. Yosoff says:

    Exercising his new Supreme Court approved powers to use taxes as a penalty for not behaving as desired, Obama proposes legislation stating that anyone who does not donate to his campaign shall be taxed with a $20,000 fine.

  45. Travelwise42 says:

    … that retroactively, starting on January 1, 2009 we will live in a nation where I am not judged by the content of my character, but by the color of my skin!

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