This Is The New Holiday America Needs

Posted on June 4, 2012 12:05 pm

[High Praise! to Arik]

[to the tune of Weasel Stomping Day]

Faces filled with joy and cheer
What a magical time of year
Howdy Ho! It’s Hippy Punching Day

Put your Viking helmet on
Spread that mayonnaise on the lawn
Don’t you know it’s Hippy Punching Day

All the little girls and boys
Love that wonderful crunching noise
You’ll know what this day’s about
When you punch a hippy’s face right out

So, come along and have a laugh
Snap their hippy noses in half
Grap your gloves and punch your cares away
Hip hip hooray, it’s Hippy Punching Day

People up and down the street
Punching hippies right off their feet
Why we do it, who can say?
But it’s such a festive holiday

So let the punching fun begin
Bash their hippy skulls right in
It’s tradition, that makes it okay

Hey everyone, it’s Hippy Punching
We’ll have some fun on Hippy Punching
Put down your gun, it’s Hippy Punching Day
Hip Hip Hooray, it’s Hippy Punching Day

Hippy Punching Day
Hey!

_______________

UPDATE: Linked by It’s About Liberty

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16 Responses to “This Is The New Holiday America Needs”

  1. BillyRayBob says:

    Hit ‘em High, Hit ‘em Low
    Hit ‘em where the Berries Grow
    Won’t bde long, the world will know
    It’s Hippy Punching Day!

  2. Son of Bob says:

    So many people seem to forget that the true meaning of Hippie Punching Day is really about Jesus.

  3. zzyzx says:

    So many hippies to punch…so little time to punch them.

  4. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Will you look me in the eyes
    When I smack you down to size.
    It’s Hippie Punching Day!

    TM, Daggermouth (well, except for the hippie-punching part, and since the previous line in the song is “Everything you say is bullshit and I hate you,” I’m pretty sure they must have had hippies in mind).

  5. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Whoops, forgot to change the “i” in bullsh!t to an exclamation point – I done been moderated.

  6. plentyobailouts says:

    harvey shoots! He scores!! Now excuse me while I hit the mayonnaise aisle.

  7. Ernie Loco says:

    I’m not ashamed to admit that I knew the full tune and most of the lyrics to “Weasel Stomping Day” without clicking on the link. Weird Al for the win!

  8. Les says:

    Poster made me LOL.

  9. Jimmy says:

    Nice photoshop, but I have to point out it looks like Frank has congenital defects in his skeleton. Who knew?

  10. Mxymaster says:

    My wife is working from home while I read this and so I’m trying not to laugh out loud and disturb her. So now she probably thinks I’m trying to blow a clementine through my sinuses. Thanks, Harvey.

  11. arik says:

    My photoshop technique leaves much to be desired, I know, but what I like in ability, I more than make up in enthusiam. Wait til tomorrow to see where Frank’s head pops up.

    And, incidentally, “Weasel Stomping Day” was the song going through my head as I was doing this.

    FYI, I want to make it clear that National Hippy Puching Day is not the ONLY day you can punch hippies, but much like Flag Day, is a day set aside specifically to enourage the activity.

    Ask not what your country can do for you, ask how many hippies you can punch for your country.

  12. 4of7 says:

    “Put down your gun, it’s Hippy Punching Day”.
    I’d rather not put down my gun, so can I just pistol-whip them instead?

  13. Harvey says:

    4of7 – This is America. You can punch AND pistol-whip.

  14. 4of7 says:

    #13 – Harvey,
    If I do that, I’d have to put down my beer!

  15. Harvey says:

    4of7 – This is America. You can punch AND pistol-whip while wearing a Foam Dome:

    http://crujonessociety.com/2009/03/25/cjs-product-review-the-foam-dome/

  16. 4of7 says:

    Of course! Problem solved! :)

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