Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Is Having a Second Oval Office Built Because…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama is having a second Oval Office built because…
Send to Kindle
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
February 7th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
…his ego barely fits in one.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
…it’s only FAIR since there’s two houses of Congress.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
…he needs one for all his stuff.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
… Biden’s bounce house takes up way too much room in the first one.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
…it’ll confuse the #ell out of Joey!
February 7th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
he is afraid he will sit in something left behind by Bill Clinton
February 7th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Michelle’s fat ass has to go somewhere….
February 7th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
..because he has done far more to ruin America than Osama bin Laden did. He earned it.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
This one has no corners for Biden to sit in.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
His economic recovery has led to such a surplus, he can totally afford a new office.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
…because there is nothing he won’t phony up.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
…he HAD so much extra “tax” money and nothing to do with it. China is happy about it though.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:19 pm
…the original Oval Office is a gun-free zone and the new one will allow him to shoot skeet all the time.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
…his alternate universe Goatee Obama kept prattling about things like federalism, capitalism, and the sanctity of life. this office will lock from the outside, though, so we may never see Goatee Obama.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
… he feels the “Oval” office is contradicting the shape of his head, so he is naming this one the “Circle Office”
February 7th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
With trillion dollar spending they needed more room for the Autopen machines.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
…, geometry, like math in general, is trivial and confusing. His new “Oval Office” will be known as “The Thrown Room”
February 7th, 2013 at 12:45 pm
…because Biden was told to go sit in the corner, and he’s still looking for one…
February 7th, 2013 at 12:45 pm
… So he can blame everything on the inhabitant of the last oval office and not the present one.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:47 pm
…Biden keeps getting the room confused with the toilet
February 7th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
…the old one is racist.
February 7th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
…it will make make it easier to ditch Biden.
…he trashed the first one shooting skeet.
…he wants to hide things in the walls so he can star in the next National Treasure movie.
…someone said the original had two foci in it, and he’s been scared ever since……
February 7th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
…to make the sign for eternity, so he can stay there forever.
February 7th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
…it’s a shovel ready project.
February 7th, 2013 at 1:23 pm
….he will get to name it after himself, no doubt.
February 7th, 2013 at 1:28 pm
….he can save time by having two world leaders he is apologizing to at the same time.
February 7th, 2013 at 1:44 pm
Why not make it three Oval Orifices? That way, we can play “Which Door Is Obama Behind?” Door #1, Door #2 or Door#3? Oh, Monty…
February 7th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
…picky Muslim dignitaries insisted on meeting him in the offal office.
…his throne clashed with the carpet and drapes in the old one.
…if it looks like a kennel and smells like a kennel and is full of dogs, the old one is just a pantry.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
. . . so he can be “out” even when he is “in”.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:05 pm
. . . to have room to launch his clay pigeons.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:06 pm
…because the current one is so old, it’s out-of-round.
#19 is probably truth
February 7th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
. . . to house his head.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:10 pm
. . . to house the Treasury Department once it has been completely emptied.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:14 pm
Because he’s afraid of Reagan’s ghost.
Because he needs more “closet” space.
Because the other one smelled like old white people.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
…as befits Obama, the new office will have angels rolling away the stone as Mary Magdalene ushers you into office, which will be empty because he will be out playing golf.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:17 pm
thats where he can watch Honey Boo Boo in private.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
Joe is still trying to sit in the corner of the first one….
February 7th, 2013 at 2:23 pm
…cause the ‘stuff’ in the first one is almost over the top of his hip waders.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:24 pm
…’cause Chris Christie got stuck blocking the door of the first one.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
…cause his teleprompter has taken over the first one.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
..George Soros needed a convenient working area.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
… he needed a place to display all his skeet shooting trophies.
February 7th, 2013 at 2:59 pm
… Because his policies have allowed several unfriendly countries to develop missiles capable of hitting Washington so he wanted a decoy
… Because why have one when you can have two at twice the price… Especially when it’s not your money.
… He got sick of Soros sitting in his chair
February 7th, 2013 at 3:15 pm
…he didn’t build that. Someone else made that happen.
…because when you have to cut military pay and maintenance funding the logical thing to do is renovate the Oval Office and build a second one.
February 7th, 2013 at 3:17 pm
…that’s what he gets for putting Joe in charge of Fringe Division.
February 7th, 2013 at 3:44 pm
…he wants to turn the other one into a miniature golf course.
February 7th, 2013 at 3:45 pm
… he needs one for his wookies.
February 7th, 2013 at 3:48 pm
…because he wants to be able to escape Michelle’s rage powers.
February 7th, 2013 at 3:50 pm
…he wants one for his imaginary son to make up for not letting him play football.
February 7th, 2013 at 3:56 pm
…the original one is full of binders.
February 7th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
— my God — he’s undergoing Might-osis!!!
February 7th, 2013 at 4:43 pm
… he wanted to make his earlier decision to buy two identical monstrous bulletproof black buses look totally normal and typical.
February 7th, 2013 at 4:44 pm
… one’s for the money, two’s for the show.
February 7th, 2013 at 4:46 pm
… he decoded a message that said not to forget his Oval-team.
February 7th, 2013 at 4:49 pm
… he screwed up the oath of office AGAIN and promised “to uphold the dualities of the offices of the President of the United States.”
February 7th, 2013 at 4:59 pm
… he thought Marx said “two each, according to his need.”
February 7th, 2013 at 5:00 pm
…their list of things to waste money on is in alphabetical order.
…when it comes time to give up office he can keep one.
…black people still have to work twice as hard to receive proper credit.
February 7th, 2013 at 5:24 pm
The new one has an appearance balcony so he can wave and bless the great unwashed.
February 7th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
. . . so he could talk out of the other side of his mouth.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:31 am
… it gives Bill Clinton his old work space back so Obama doesn’t have to ask him to repeatedly fly back from NY every time he needs his a$$ saved.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:33 am
…. because he wants to tell even more people, “You didn’t build that.”
February 8th, 2013 at 12:33 am
… he needs more wall space for his portraits of Mao
February 8th, 2013 at 12:34 am
…. it’s good to give Joey Bear a playroom close to where Obama can keep his eye on him
February 8th, 2013 at 1:20 am
…he finally found the perfect volcano for it to be built in.
…for racial diversity, it will be built in the Black House.
…two giant ovals remind him of Michelle’s butt.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:53 am
…he has to find a better way to distracte Biden during games of “Hide & Seek”.
February 8th, 2013 at 11:36 am
He needed more mirrors so he would never lose sight of himself. Pose, pose, pose
February 8th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
…”No Smoking In The Oval Office” is not written in the plural.
…liberals belief in liberal math think it doubles his chances of finally making a wise decision.
February 9th, 2013 at 7:43 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama is having a second Oval Office built because…” [...]