Straight Line of the Day: What Will Become of the Laid Off IRS Workers?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
What will become of the laid off IRS workers?
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
March 4th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
They’ll become tax preparers, finding their clients all kinds of obscure deductions. No revenge like sweet revenge…
March 4th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Now that their work-visas are expired, they’ll be deported back to Mordor.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
They’ll mope around feeling depreciated.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Keeping tracking of income for the Piranha Brothers’ “Other Other Operation.”
March 4th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
They will all become TSA agents. After all, auditing skills translate very well into body cavity searching skills.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
They’ll stand by off ramps holding signs that say: “Will audit you for food.”
March 4th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Living the exiting life of unempoyed accountants. Workload for suicide prevention hotlines soars.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
They’ll live in the Lonestar state and drive pick-up trucks with ‘Don’t Mess With Taxes’ bumperstickers
March 4th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
They’ll proclaim that they’re former hostages of the U.S. Government.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
… They will be dropped on Detroit, it will either be karma for Detroit or the IRS.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
they will become “health care providers”
March 4th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
…the one that changed his name to Ulysses Samuel Government will be cashing in a lot of payments… for awhile…
March 4th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
…telemarketers have to come from somewhere.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
They’ll be moved to Homeland Security where they play with guns AND your money.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
…they’ll finally be invited to family dinners.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
The auditors will go back their first love: proctology.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:35 pm
The news will be something like this:
***Breaking***
Government employees laid off. IRS workers
hardest hithit back.March 4th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
I hear the mafia is hiring…
March 4th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
…after the initial xuberation… “Hey everbody, we’re gonna get laid.” the reality of the situation would set in.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Who gives a damn? – Probably won’t win but it’s pretty much all I can come up with.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:44 pm
We can use them for pavement.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Will drink 1040-ouncers, take a GD Pee.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Will move to skid row 3, line 5, section 8.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
One word: plastics.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
IRS workers? Not to worry!
The Dept. of Protein Reclamation, the Dept. of Protein Recovery and the Protein Banks will soon be hiring. And there will always jobs (for Liberals) at the Protein Redistribution facilities.
And for the rest of us, our (re)usable flesh will be contributed to the Protein Bank, where it will recycled for purposes that serve His Divine Shadow thee Obama Lama.
March 4th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
They’ll start stapling papers together.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
… They will be the subject of a new joke – what do you call thousands of laid off government workers? a good start.
… as all government workers they’ll get pension payments and health care for life
… they’d have to get real jobs
… they’ll be the first ones audited by the government’s new audit drones
March 4th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
“The Internal Revenue Service plans to require five to seven days of unpaid leave for many of its employees through September” — so basically they’ll just sit around and monitor the internet, making lists of those who make fun of them, for when they get back to their office.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
hard to know – with two years unemployment, they won’t be available for the ObamaCare IRS enforcement build-up ……
March 4th, 2013 at 1:28 pm
They will finally be able to get their souls out of hock.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
@blarg (recycling lawyer jokes?)
What’s the difference between an IRS worker and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:54 pm
They will be able to walk in the sunlight again, attend church services with their families, recite the Lord’s Prayer forwards rather than backwards, and enjoy garlic with their meals.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
proctology technicians
March 4th, 2013 at 1:57 pm
They will be plotting with the White House to make sure the public gets “lain on” more than Sandra Fluke at Spring Break when the RINOS cave on tax hikes.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
Two words: Turnip bleeders.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:21 pm
Hey, somebody has to perform all those cat and dog euthanizations.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:26 pm
they will get hired on as private contractors for twice their last salary. Obama then announces he reduced the government payroll while creating private sector jobs.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:39 pm
..they will sub as “Collectors” for Loan Sharks.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
…they’ll have more time for their favorite hobby- waterboarding orphans.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
. . . they will have to return to their “Night Jobs” sucking blood.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:08 pm
Spend their days drinking and sobbing out that you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, except for before the lay offs when the scum and villainy were at all time highs.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:12 pm
They will eventually wind up in Hell.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:16 pm
Does anyone really give a rat’s ass?
March 4th, 2013 at 4:18 pm
As has been a long held bragging point of IRS workers, when one is laid off he or she retains their place of popularity just below that of a genital wart, slightly ahead of Alec Baldwin.
March 4th, 2013 at 4:44 pm
Get together to make a video for their new dance craze, The DC Shakedown.
Put on hold their efforts to make Richard Gere’s gerbil pay back taxes on it’s free room and board, provided during the Bush years.
They will use their free time to make the new “Tax Tax” tax even more incomprehensible to understand as well as adding to the penalties for having to pay penalties for not having to pay one or another tax.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:10 am
Idaho Department of Corrections is hiring. St Anthony’s work camp and Cottonwood (not exactly metropolitan areas) $13.24/hr … BEFORE taxes, fees, and retirement. But they’d best keep the resume quiet.
March 5th, 2013 at 9:01 am
Just look out your window. They’re peeping at you right now.
March 6th, 2013 at 7:46 am
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