You Break in My Home, You Ride Shotgun

I got this automated phone call the other day from the police warning that there have been a number of nighttime break-ins in the area, so I immediately though, “Hey, I need a shotgun.”
So I went to Wal-Mart today and bought a nice 12-gauge pump action (my first ever gun purchase; my dad had given me all the handguns I own), but boy was that a hassle, made only a little bit easier since I have a CCW. I didn’t think that had to do background check for shotguns, but I guess they do in Florida. At least on the questionnaire it asks if you’ve ever renounced your U.S. citizenship; nice to see they’re keeping lefties from buying firearms.
So, if I hear a strange noise at night, that person is going to be hearing a very familiar sound. Pump action shotguns are cool.

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  1. I have a vague recollection of a scene from a movie, two men in a very dark room, long silent pause, then “click-slide-click”. Another long pause. Then: “That’s one hell of a sound, ain’t it, boy?”
    Yes. One hell of a sound. It gives me goosebumps thinking about it.
    I hope you never have to use it, but if you do, God help the bastard.

  2. My Aunt Rita just called from Nashville and told me a story about my 92-year-old uncle shooting a squirrel that had gotten into the house through the chimney. The image this creates in my mind is both humorous and chilling.
    When I lived in L.A., I found the best way to prevent break-ins was my 120 lb. Rottwieler, Sophie. While my neighbors were being robbed on a daily basis, I could leave for work with my windows wide open.
    Once, I even had to sic her on a bum who refused to leave my backyard one morning. I yelled at through the window to stop digging through my trash cans and he said “f-you, I’ve got a gun.”
    You should have seen him run when Sophie bounded down the stairs after him. He was lucky that he made it past the gate because Sophie was trained not to leave the yard.
    My advice, keep the gun for self-protection, but get a big bad ass dog (professionally trained, of course) to watch your house.

  3. For you ladies, I recommend the Mossberg Bantam model. It’s just like the 500 but with a 13″ buttstock, 22″ barrel and reduced distance between the trigger and grip for your pretty lil’ hands!
    No single female should be without one! I bought one for my daughter and she loves it!

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