Feel the electricity in the air? It could only mean one thing: time for a new batch of bloggers to compete!
Here is Group D! (now with less formatting so this post doesn’t take me an hour to put together)
Meet the Bloggers
1. Site Name: Happy Furry Puppy Story Time
2. Preferred Name: Norbizness
3. Length of Blogging: Since May 25, 2003
4. Brief Site Description: A steaming load of
appeasenik tripe.
5a. Praise Frank: He sells me weed ‘at cost’. He doesn’t smell like dog when he gets wet. He lends me small firearms so that my wait at the Post Office can
be cut in half.
5b. Favorite Frank Post: The December 2002 chestnut “If They’re Not Evil, Then Why Are They Foreign?”
6. Favorite Movie: Toss-up between Renoir’s “The Grand Illusion” and Swayze’s “Roadhouse”
7. Simpsons Character: Johnny Cash as Homer’s spirit guide
My Blog
By Susie
My Blog is called Practical Penumbra.
It is by Susie because that is my name and I like my name.
My Blog is 3 months old, and soon it will be able to roll over by itself. [Ed. I took developmental psychology in college, so I get that joke.]
My blog is very pretty. It would be prettier but all my crayons melted into blurple.
I write things in my blog. Sometimes I mention Frank, because he is very funny.
Sometimes I talk about school and sometimes I talk about where I work. School is not fun. 🙁 Work is sometimes fun. 🙂
Usually I just read my friends’ blogs and link to them.
I like Frank VERY much. He is VERY funny. He is also best friends with lots of
cool people like Buck the Marine and the President, and he tells us about them.
That is very interesting. The best story he told was about Belgium getting
nuked. (It wasn’t in the news, though, so I think the government covered it up.
They do that.) [Ed. Actually, they missed if you remember correctly]
Today my favorite movie is “1776“. The men all sing and wear funny clothes. It makes me laugh. (But not as much as Frank does).
I like the Simpsons very much. Usually I feel like Lisa, but today I feel like Apu. The Simpsons makes me laugh. (But not as much as Frank does).
The End
What is the name of your site?
Over The Edge, a subsidiary of ColoradoPsycho.com.
*What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Bloodthirsty Warmonger. I take an epithet that most Idiotarians are likely to hurl at me and turn it into a badge of pride.
*How long have you been blogging?
Since 18 February 2003
*Give a brief description of your site.
News and opinions, mainly on the wacky world of human behavior. “Compassionate conservatism” is more than a political catch phrase on this site, which has been declared a troll-free zone.
*Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
I have no life outside of IMAO! When I grow up, I want my site to become a cheap imitation of his. Frank’s blog site is the only one where I absolutely cannot have anything to eat or drink before visiting. At the risk of sounding sadistic, the “In My World” scene where he describes Rummy educating a reporter on the difference between Vietnam and other wars (30 June 2003) gives me violent fantasies.
*What’s your favorite movie? It’s a Wonderful Life.
*Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Mr. Ned Flanders, of course. I always look for the good in people, am an incurable optimist most of the time, have been known to teach Sunday School, and am probably the first person in this contest to name It’s a Wonderful Life as his favorite movie.
What is the name of your site – the voodoo lounge
What is your preferred name as a blogger – dr.dna
How long have you been blogging – about 6 months
Give a brief description of your site – war, politics & whatever else catches my eye
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post – All Hail. That brief enough for you? Favourite bits are Frank Answers and Know Thy Enemy
What’s your favorite movie – Lots, but the first that come to mind are Braveheart & Monty Python movies
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with – Homer, because even though I have a job, sometimes it seems like I always have something better to do than go to work.
*What is the name of your site?
Curiosity
*What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Elliot or curi
*How long have you been blogging?
6 months
*Give a brief description of your site.
I write in-jokes, hardcore philosophy, and random stuff. Occasionally. Read at your own risk.
*Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
The jokes are terrific, and plenty to qualify Frank as brilliant, but the post that most stands out is this one: Giving Thanks. I very much appreciate that Frank is Good as well as funny.
*What’s your favorite movie?
Cruel Intentions
*Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Lisa, for the isolated intellectual thing, *not the tree-hugging bit.
*What is the name of your site?
Little Miss Attila
*What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Attila Girl
*How long have you been blogging?
Since this past spring.
*Give a brief description of your site.
Beautifully crafted essays, sardonic jokes, and belated teenage angst.
*Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
Frank’s a cute, wonderful kid. I’m allowed to say that, since I’m 41. It would have to be your declaration of war on Instapundit. [Ed. Oh, and the plans I have for him… but I must wait for the right time to strike…]
* What’s your favorite movie?
Aliens.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Lisa.
For the first time, everyone in the group responded. Yay Group D!
Here are their responses to the question in random order (revealing who wrote which is means for disqualification):
QUESTION: In 200 words or less, describe the best way to kill a
Communist.
ANSWER 1: The best way to kill a commie depends on one’s own personal idiom. There are those who prefer weapons grade plutonium in a puppie smoothie, and others who insist that a katana and a Colt 1991 will do. I, however, am of the school that believes the old tried-and-true remedies work best: capitalism (and lots of it!).
ANSWER 2: Almost anything can be justified, as long as you have a good recipe for it. The Japanese in me wanted to turn him into sushi — then I came to my senses, realizing that you need the freshest ingredients for that. As I plunged into the nefarious depths, my thoughts turned to the fine art of jungle warfare. We could let him out into the jungle with a five-minute head start, pursued by Buck the Marine, who’s been given the order to shoot him on sight, like a mad dog.! But before that happens, he could be done in by a variety of booby traps. My favorite method of turning him into hamburger would be the Bouncing Betty, the mine with the spring device that causes a bomb to explode at chest level. Of course there will be cameras to record the expression of surprise on his face in his last second of life. Muh ha ha ha!
ANSWER 3: Drop him in a pit with monkeys. Tell the monkeys he’s a Jew (monkeys are anti-semitic).
ANSWER 4: Put a bomb in Yao Ming’s ribcage during a Chinese National Team basketball exhibition game in Beijing. .
ANSWER 5: Get an Islamic suicide terrorist to blow up near him. Two birds with one stone.
ANSWER 6: Wouldn’t that depend on the range?–I could see a variety of firearms as being really useful for this project. But please do not forget poison, which creates a lot of pain. If you can get close to the communist in question, I would recommend working poison into their food. Don’t mess around with ice picks; that’s silly.
Many good answers, but only one can be declared the best answer.
PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!
POLL CLOSED
Poll closes 24 hours after this post.
And now next round of questions for Group E!
GROUP E QUESTIONS:
What is the name of your site?
What is your preferred name as a blogger?
How long have you been blogging?
Give a brief description of your site.
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
What’s your favorite movie?
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
SHORT ANSWER QUESTION: Everyone knows my solution to random ninja attacks. In 200 words or less, describe your own solution. Remember, while people hate getting randomly attacked by ninjas, they also hate high taxes, so try and keep your solutions cheap.
Before I had taken everyone’s answers to their questions and formatted them the same, but now I’m just going to post them as you give them to me (I especially liked Susie’s cute little way of doing hers). So e-mail me your answers ready for cut and paste. You have 24 hours from the time of this post to mail them in. Godspeed.
Archive of entries posted on July 2003
In My World: Rabbit Duck Saddam Season
Co-Written by Mike the Marine
“We need to get Saddam Hussein!” Bush shouted, pounding the table with his fist. “NBC is willing to commit to 13 episodes, of the Uday and Qusay Dead Body Puppet Hour, but only if I can add Saddam to the cast.”
“Most people think showing the dead bodies of Uday and Qusay was appropriate for the circumstances in Iraq,” Scott McClellan said, ” but don’t you think dancing the dead bodies of our enemies around like puppets is going a little too far?”
“Hey, we’re talking a series on a major network,” Bush shot back, “and who the hell are you?”
“I’m Scott McClellan,” Scott answered, “I’ve been your White House Press Secretary for two weeks now.”
Bush thought about this. “Sounds right, but, to be on the safe side, I’m going to have the Secret Service beat you up while I check on that.”
“Hey!” Scott protested as the Secret Service dragged him away.
“New guys are so stupid,” Bush chuckled once Scott was out of the room, “After they’ve roughed him up for five minutes, I’ll tell him it was a joke. Now, back to business: how is our progress towards finding Saddam?”
“No new information now,” Cheney said, “but we do have a 25 million dollar bounty on his head.”
Bush jumped to his feet. “25 million dollars! Hot damn! I’m gonna find him myself!” He paused to think for a moment. “He’s probably not somewhere in the White House is he?”
“Nope,” Cheney answered.
“Then we’ll need a plane, I guess. Who wants to go Saddam hunting with me?”
“Lord knows I’m always ready for killing anything!” Rumsfeld answered.
“My doctor tells me such activity could be bad for my heart,” Cheney said, “but what the hell does he know; he’s not ever had one heart attack! I think I’m the expert on the subject. Count me in.”
“I’ll come too,” Condoleezza Rice said.
“No girls,” Bush answered, “Hunting is a guy thing. Why don’t you go knit a sweater or devise some war plans, Condi.”
“Fine!” Rice said angrily as she stormed out of the room, “I’ll just stay here and work on my planned military coup.”
“You do that,” Bush responded. “Now let’s get together what we need to bring for the trip.”
From out of the shadows emerged the hooded figure of Karl Rove. “Don’t forget to bring a camera. If people can witness you, the president, killing Saddam Hussein by yourself, it will show such strength that surely the Democrats will collapse as prophesized by the ancients in the Book of Shadows and Punditry.”
“Forget about the Democrats, Karly,” Bush responded, “We’re talking about 25 million dollars. With that kind of money, I could buy all the Democrats gold-plated baby bottles to go along with their whining.”
“Or have them killed,” Rumsfeld said, “At least at my going rate.”
“Hey, Laura, look; I got my hunting cap with the earflaps and everything,” Bush exclaimed.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going Saddam hunting with Cheney and Rumsfeld and Chomps,” he told her, “I’m going to get that 25 million for myself.”
“Don’t you think it will look bad if the president takes the award the government is offering?”
“I think I’ve made it pretty clear throughout my administration that I don’t think at all,” Bush responded indignantly, “That why I got a group of smart people in my cabinet.”
“I’ll bring the beer,” Cheney announced, holding his hunting rifle.
“I’m bringing the whiskey,” Rumsfeld said.
“Well, don’t shoot each other,” Laura said with concern.
“That won’t happen unless we get so drunk we mistake each other for Baathists,” Bush assured her.
“I’m not promising anything,” Rumsfeld said, loading his hunting rifle.
Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Chomps waited in the Iraqi desert, hiding behind cover. “This is what I love about being an American,” Bush said, loading his gun, “We can go into any country we choose and do whatever the f**k we want. And who is going to stop us? No one, because we’re too big and powerful.”
“Other countries are stupid,” Rumsfeld responded, taking a drink of whiskey, “Now let’s shoot people.”
“By the way,” Cheney said, “Did you ever tell the Secret Service to stop beating up Scott?”
Bush thought about that for a moment. “Eh, I’m sure they tired out eventually.”
Chomps, the world’s angriest hunting dog, fiercely attacked the desert sand. Sand made him angry. Then the sun got in his eyes. He really hated the sun, and dreamed of ripping it apart with his teeth. For now, he just barked at it.
“Quiet, Chomps,” Bush scolded him, “We have to be silent when hunting for Baathists. Cheney, use the terrorist call.”
Cheney blew into a whistle and out came a loud ululation. From behind a Bush stood up a terrorist who exclaimed, “Death to America!” Bush then shot him.
“Go fetch him, Chomps,” Rumsfeld commanded. Chomps ran out and dragged back the terrorist.
“Now to check him against me deck of cards of the Iraqi most wanted,” Bush said, pulling out his cards. “Sure a lot of fugitive naked women.”
“I think that’s the wrong deck of cards,” Cheney said.
“Oh yeah,” Bush answered, and then pulled out another deck of cards. “He doesn’t match any. Must just be some random Baathist. Toss him back, Chomps.”
“I’m very hurt, and your dog swallowed my boot,” the terrorist pleaded.
“Hey, we all got problems,” Bush answered.
With a quick shake of his head, Chomps tossed the terrorist back out into the field.
“Hey, I see another one!” Bush exclaimed, and took a shot.
Chomps dragged back the body.
“You killed a monkey!” Cheney exclaimed.
“A terrorist monkey,” Bush said.
“I think he’s just a regular monkey.”
“Something is dead; let’s be happy,” Rumsfeld declared.
“Let’s just keep an eye out for a man in a yellow hat seeking vengeance to be on the safe side,” Bush said. “Now, we have to find a better way to draw Saddam out.” He looked to Cheney. “Go out in the field and pretend to be a Kurd. Then I’ll shoot Saddam when he comes out to gas you.”
“No,” Cheney answered, “Every time I pretend to be a Kurd, it always ends in trouble.”
“Well, we have to find Saddam somehow,” Bush declared, “I want that 25 million to make me extra richer!”
Suddenly, bullets came whizzing by their ears. Sand kicked up at their feet as metric ammo went flying by all around them. Loud ululations were heard and the very ground shook beneath their feet. Over a sand dune in the distance came––.. Helen Thomas.
“Why are you trying to steal $25 million from Iraqi children?” screeched the Wicked Witch of the West Wing.
Bush looked at her with a mix of contempt and confusion. Mostly it was exasperation, though. “Oh sweet weeping Jesus on the cross–.. what are you doing here you old bat? Didn’t the doctors tell you not to leave your house? And where’d you get the AK-47 from?”
“Those doctors were fakes, and the AK-47 was given to me by Peter Arnette. It’s one he picked up during the first gulf war. Of course he was too much of a wuss to ever shoot it.”
“Well no argument on the Arnette thing.” Bush said, smiling at her. Out of the corner of his mouth he whispered to Rumsfeld. “Fire those damned ‘doctors’ and get somebody more believable next time.”
“Done,” said Rummy, the satellite phone already to his ear.
“Why are you illegally here in Iraq stealing millions of dollars?” she heckled Bush again.
“Listen you mindless bint, I can’t be stealing it from them — it’s already ours. What’s that shadow?” Bush looked up.
Fox News reporter Melinda Hawkish landed squarely on Helen’s head. Her parachute was immediately consumed by Chomps before it even had a chance to hit the ground. Parachutes made Chomps angry, for reasons even the world’s angriest dog did not really understand.
“What did I land on?” asked Melinda.
“A desert rat,” Bush said coldly. “A big, fat, desert rat.”
“What are YOU doing here?” Cheney gasped. He was still using up heartbeats after diving away from Helen Thomas’ wildly erratic gunfire.
“Buck the Marine called me and said that he’d gotten some intel about you guys going on a Saddam hunt. I want Saddam’s last interview before you turn him into a marionette.”
“Hey that TV deal’s supposed to be hush-hush!” Bush cried. “I don’t want anybody stealing my idea.”
“How is ol’ Buck?” Rummy asked. “He’s a good man, holding down the fort in Liberia for us.”
“He said the weapons drop wasn’t nearly large enough.” Melinda said. “He needs another pallet of ammo and some MREs, too.”
“Didn’t we send him 150,000 rounds of .223 and a whole box of chicken tortellini meals?” Bush asked.
“He’s a Marine. They want two things: food and ammo.” Melinda said matter-of-factly. Chomps yelped in agreement. Buck was one of the precious few people that made him less angry. Not happy, mind you — just less angry.
“Well, nobody ever killed Saddam by sitting in one place and waiting for him to ditty-bop on by. Let’s roll,” said Rumsfeld.
“I can’t move too fast in this heat,” Cheney said.
“Awww, woook–. Widdle baby is gonna have another coronary. Boo frickin’ hoo.” Rumsfeld chided him. “Get to steppin’. In thirty miles you can have a nitro pill.”
“Owned!!” Bush laughed at Cheney. “Hey, Rummy you gonna share that water?”
“What water?” Rumsfeld asked, as he screwed the cap back on his canteen. “I think there’s a watering hole aboouuuuttttt––. thirty miles from here.”
“I miss being undisclosed,” Cheney said as he shuffled off behind the others.
Writing Hard
Sorry to get behind on posting, but I think I’m getting to one of those stages where I have to figure out how to regulate how much time I spend on my blog before it consumes and destroys me. I’d like to keep up one humorous post each morning, followed by Frank Answers™ in the afternoon when circumstances allow, and some links of the day at night, but I think I’m going to have to stop posting on the weekends so I can get some other hobbies going. Also, the In My World™ posts, though my favorite, to come up with, are also becoming too time consuming to write and I may change those to being once a week or make them much shorter or have more “To be continued” ones.
Anyway, I’ll still try to come up with one for tomorrow morning (along with having the next permalink contest poll up and questions for Group E), but I don’t have a clue what to have it about this time. Any ideas?
About Netflix
You may have noticed there is now a banner at the top of my page for Netflix. Well, I get $9 buck for everyone who signs up for a free trial. That’s great, because, before, I had been telling people how much I like Netflix for free. The idea is you keep a queue of movies online, and, for $20 a month, they send you the first three of your list. You can keep them as long as you want, and, as soon as you send one back (using the postage paid envelope it comes with), they then send you the next DVD on your list. I’ve found it usually takes less than a week between sending one out and receiving a new movie. If you watch movies as soon as you get them and then send them right back, you could easily see more than a dozen in a week. If you like movies even more, they offer other plans where you can keep more than three at once.
Now the great thing is their selection. Now, I’m an American, and I love government certified blockbusters as much as the next guy, but occasionally I like to seem some old artsy film or a foreign film (don’t tell Buck), and I’ve had trouble finding them at the local Blockbuster. My only recourse was to buy them if I want to see them (you should see my Aikira Kurosawa collection). Well, with Netflix, if it’s on DVD, they have it. Currently I’m watching the Zatoichi series through them, interspersed with a mix of comedy’s, blockbuster’s I missed, and old classics I’ve always mean to see. Anytime I think of some movie I want to see, I can just head to my Netflix page and add it to my queue.
If you own a DVD player and like movies (why do you have a DVD player if you don’t like moves?), you need to give Netflix a try. You get it for two weeks free, and they make it easy to cancel if you don’t like it. And, if you go more than two weeks and think better of it, you only pay month to month and can stop anytime.
So, go to my banner, click on it, and give them a try. If you want some move recommendations (they’ll let you rate movies you’ve already seen and give you recommendations based on that, but I’m smarter than them) see Equilibrium – it’s an awesome movie with some very inventive action. Also, The Hunted with Christopher Lambert (not to be confused by the more recent one with Tommy Lee Jones) is great if you like seeing samurais fight ninjas (and who doesn’t?). Also, everyone must see The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly in widescreen. It is my favorite movie and has the most perfect ending of pretty much any movie I’ve ever seen.
I’m sure you’ll want to thank me later for pointing you to Netflix, but, if you join through my banner, you won’t have to, because I’ll get nine bucks. And nine bucks is thanks enough.
Blogathon!
The blogathon commences. Michele, Meryl Yourish, and Laurence Simon are posting once every half hour for the entire day for charity (you donated, didn’t you?). Go tell them you love them.
Instapundo Delenda Est: A Curve Ball
The puppy blender has now just shown solidarity with Howard Dean. Now I have the potential Democrat presidential candidate to worry about, too.
The enemies list grows.
Enemies List:
Instapundit
Wizbang
Chaos Central
Howard Dean
I think he’s getting nervous about the aforementioned attack I have planned for him. But I’m in no rush…
Muh ha ha ha!
UPDATE: He’s linked to me twice now! I don’t know what evil plan the Enemy is up to, but he will rue the day he crossed me. He will rue it until he lies on the ground all rued out. Then he will get up, have a puppy shake to regain his energy, and rue some more until he is completely rueless and crashes on the couch to watch some TV and rest for yet another day of ruing.
UPDATE 2: As long as I’m getting an Instalance, just want to tell everyone that Michele, Meryl Yourish, and Laurence Simon are participating in this year’s Blogathon and are trying to raise enough money to buy an ambulance for an Israeli chairty. Go give them support.
Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest Number One Round 3 Over
The poll is closed.
No offense to the first two groups, but I think we had the best group of answers so far (they probably also got an easier question; everyone hates monkeys). There were a total of 267 votes.
The question was: Name your least favorite species of monkey and explain why you dislike that monkey.
And the winning answer is: Answer 1, written by Stan, Bob, Jon, Darwin and Guy of Modularparrot.com. It got 96 votes (36%).
The European Moss-Back; a nearly-extinct subset of the infamous Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey. The EMB is distinguished by its lack of personal hygiene, infrequent showers and propensity to urinate in the street. Visual identification is simple; the EMB is heavily carpeted in thick hair on its back, arms, legs, and feet and often wears a beret to cover a hairless pate. Always has something in its mouth, usually one of its feet. Older EMBs tend to be grey-backed.
* EMBs chatter constantly, usually unintelligibly, and wouldn’t be caught dead communicating with lesser breeds. When they are caught dead, their meat is flabby, gamy and otherwise unpalatable.
* EMBs are not territorial; in fact, they rarely defend themselves except when there’s pride or oil involved, neither of which they posses in any significant quantity. So they tend to be red arsed from frequent beatings.
* They can only be moved to action by threats and big sticks, or by yelling “Rarr”. (16 words)
* EMBs tend to congregate around African cesspools, art museums, or plates heaped with rotting cheese, foie gras and crackers, and they show a peculiar attraction to whine.
Answer 2 was written by Graham Lester of Uncategorical. It got 67 votes (25%).
The baboon is my least favorite species of monkey:
Baboons have ugly butts.
Baboons are scary.
Baboons will eat anything, including other baboons, and even humans.
The baboon is the most French of all the monkeys. Here are some solid proofs:
If you ask a baboon a simple question in English, he will act like he doesn’t speak the language.
If you ask the question again in French, the baboon will act arrogant, like you’re not good enough to merit the consideration of a reply.
Although baboons eat anything and anyone, I know of no case of a baboon eating a Frenchman.
Although they will also eat anything, I know of no case of a Frenchman eating a baboon. Obviously, there is an alliance.
If you ask to be served baboon in a French restaurant, they will become angry, like they have something to hide.
French organ grinders never use baboons.
There are no cases of baboon organ grinders using Frenchmen (except in captivity).
If you throw a beret to a troop of baboons, they will wait until you have gone and then the leader will put the beret on his head and quote Sartre.
Stop Press: Absolute proof of the Franco-Baboon Alliance can be found at this link.
Answer 3 was written by Mike of Mike. He got 23 votes (9%).
At the risk of being permanently banned from IMAO, I have to confess that I love monkeys. All of them. The little guys are incredibly handy. They wash my dishes, pick up my dry cleaning, and occasionally pose as me on my blog. They even do windows, although they bitch about it. The only problem is that I can’t toilet-train them. Their union contract says that they don’t have to wear diapers so they shit wherever they want to.
Answer 4 was written by J of The Blog of Xanadu. It got 21 votes (8%). Donations are now being accepted.
Any form of macaque. Macaque is the French word for ‘monkey’. Leave it to the French to name the monkey after their tiny masculine body parts. We should shoot all macaques, and then shoot each French man in is ‘macaque’. As President, I’d make macaques illegal. Donations are now being accepted.
Answer 5 was written by Bill of Bloviating Inanities. It got 13 votes (5%).
The Buffy-headed Marmoset. While this particular monkey appears cute, cuddly and harmless enough, I once witnessed two of these little bastards at a zoo. It wasn’t pretty. The male not only sexually assaulted the female, he then proceeded to steal her banana. She retaliated by throwing her fresh, steaming poo at him. I was afraid she would turn on me with the poo flinging so I headed over to a more well-behaved animal, the wolverine. Luckily, the Buffy-headed Marmoset is on the endangered species list.
Answer 6 was written by John or Collins (is doesn’t really matter) of Collinization. It got 47 votes (18%).
Although I do hate all monkeys, my least favorite species is the apus moldus cowardus; the cheese-eating surrender monkey. Easily identified by their long, flowing back hair(females) and small genitals(males), this vile beast was the first species of monkey to fling excriment out of it’s mouth. These animals allow their food to rot for months, even years before consuming it. Some think that they enjoy the stench, as it covers their own putrid smell. Others, like myself, believe it is due to their intense fear of inanimate objects. For those reasons, the cheese-eating surrender monkey is the species of monkey I hate the most. Well, that and one of the little bastards bit me one time, and I think it gave me the AIDS. Don’t worry though; I put some windex on it.
This was a hard one to pick a best answer from, and I once again did not vote for the winner as I voted for Answer 2 as I thought the comparison between a baboon and a Frenchman was particularly funny (I especially liked the part about it pretending not to know English).
Hmm… and this is three times in a row answer 1 has won the contest.
Anyway, congratulations to the P-Team of Modularparrot.com who joins Serenity’s Journal and Adventures in Trouble Shooting as finalists.
Thanks again to everyone for participating. I hope this has been as fun for you as it is aggravating for me to format these posts 🙂
Group D’s answers are all in, and the poll will be posted Monday morning.
In My World: Buck Goes to Liberia Part II
Part 1
“You gotta see this!” Rumsfeld exclaimed with a smile.
“What?” President Bush asked.
“Instead of just showing the dead bodies of Uday and Qusay, we came up with something more creative,” Condoleezza Rice said, turning on a TV and putting in a tape.
“We strung up those two bastards like marionette puppets and made them dance!” Rumsfeld laughed.
On screen were the two bullet riddled bodies of Uday and Qusay dancing. Bush began to shield his eyes. “This is the most disgusting, grotesque, vile thing I’ve ever…” He then started laughing. “Hey, Uday just hit Qusay!” he said excitedly, “Hit him again! Uh-oh; Qusay is fighting back!” He turned to Rice and Rumsfeld. “This is great. We should make a series.”
“Dancing dead Iraqis aside,” White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said, “What am I supposed to tell the press when they find out we only sent one Marine to Liberia?”
“I dunno, Ari; we didn’t want to send more until that goof Charles Taylor steps down,” Bush said, “Why are we even concerned about Liberia anyway? They don’t have oil.”
“I don’t think we want to say that,” Scott answered.
“Ari, you’ve really become more of a worry-wart since you grew hair,” Bush told him, “Why don’t you make up some other excuse for why we aren’t sending more troops such as that we hate black people.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Rice said.
“That’s for Ari to decide,” Bush assured her, “He’s the professional at this.” Bush then started laughing hysterically. “Hit him again, Uday! Hit him!”
Buck hid behind cover while Chomps stood near by, still wearing his blue helmet which made him the world’s angriest U.N. peacekeeper. They were being fired on by some people on the top story of a building and had Buck pinned down tight.
“I’m almost out of ammo,” Buck exclaimed, “I may have to use one of these AK-47’s from the for’ners I killed, and I hate AK-47’s.”
Chomps took an AK-47 in his mouth and snapped it in two. He also hated AK-47’s.
“I have an idea,” Buck told Chomps, “Maybe if you’re smart like Lassie, you could take a grenade and run it into the building where all the for’ners are. Then you can pull out the pin and run away.” He held out a grenade to Chomps. “Can you do that, boy?”
Chomps took the grenade and swallowed it.
“Oh, that ain’t good.”
Chomps started hacking and coughing.
“You better not explode on me,” Buck said, shielding his face.
Chomps then walked out of cover and hacked out the grenade with such force that it flew through the air and into the window of the building where their attackers were. It then exploded, taking out the top floor. Chomps then walked over to Buck and set a grenade pin in his hand.
“Wow!” Buck exclaimed, “That’s quite a trick. When we get back to the states, we’re going to have to have you do that on Letterman.”
Buck readied his weapon and continued down through the streets with Chomps following close behind. He soon spotted a woman ahead of him.
“Hmm, she don’t look so foreign,” Buck said, approaching cautiously.
It was Fox News reporter, Melinda Hawkish, standing outside a building. “What are you doing here?” Buck asked.
“Trying to out scoop Jennifer ‘look at me I’m so pretty and in dangerous places’ Eccleston by interviewing President Charles Taylor.”
“Won’t you need a cameraman?” Buck asked.
“Mine got kidnapped and now they’re asking for a ransom,” Melinda said with frustration, “All I really want to do is get a nice anchorwoman job. They once let me co-host on Fox and Friends, but, get in one fist fight with Susan Estridge, and suddenly you’re banned for life.” She fixed her blouse. “So, do you think this appropriate amount of cleavage to show for a serious news woman?”
“Uh… I guess,” Buck answered, “So is Charles Taylor in that building? I have a message for him.”
“Yeah, he’s locked in there.”
Buck walked over to the building. “President Charles Taylor, I have a message for you!” Buck called out, “It’s from General Abizaid.”
“What is it?” Taylor asked, peeking out a window.
“You’re an ass and you should get out of office!”
“I won’t leave until the Americans commit troops!” Taylor responded.
“Uh… well, I’m an American Marine.”
“Where are the rest of you?”
“Uh… I’m a fast runner… they’re just behind me.”
Taylor though about this. “Okay, I’ll leave office, but I first need to talk to a U.N. representative.”
Buck looked to Chomps and patted him on his blue helmet. “I guess that means you.”
Chomps ran forward and busted through the front door. Soon they could hear some screaming and then Taylor jumped out the window and ran off down the street. Now looking out the window was Chomps with a big slobbery smile.
“Good negotiating, Chomps,” Buck called out, “Ooh-rah!”
Melinda watched Taylor run like hell down the street. “There goes my interview,” she sighed.
Bush ran into Rumsfeld office. “UPN just offered to pay for thirteen episodes of The Uday & Qusay Show.”
“Okay,” Rumsfeld said, “but I need to keep creative control.”
A phone started ringing and Rumsfeld picked it up. “Who is this? …Buck? Buck who? …Oh, Buck the Marine. How are things going?”
“We got President Charles Taylor to resign, so I’m taking a break to enjoy some Liberian liquors with Melinda Hawkish,” Buck said.
“Okay, have a nice rest; you deserve it. Then I want you to head out to Congo and fix whatever is wrong there.”
“But I’m almost out of ammo and…”
“So how is Chomps?” Rumsfeld interrupted.
“He took a flight back to the states with some other people… I think to New York.”
“What? He’s all alone with strangers?”
“He seemed to know what he was doing.”
Chomps stood at the front of the main U.N. headquarter’s auditorium, wearing his blue helmet and looking at all the U.N. representatives with some confusion. Kofi Anan stood next to him.
“For negotiating a peaceful resignation of President Charles Taylor, we would like to award U.N. peacekeeper Chomps this medal,” Kofi Anan said, and then moved toward Chomps with the medal in hand.
Chomps took that as a threatening motion. And it made him angry. Now that he thought of it, all the people in this building made him angry for some reason. His eyes opened wide and were blood shot. He lips curled up revealing his jagged teeth. A growl started emanating from him, first low, then building in volume. Yes, the U.N. representatives made him angry. Very angry.
“Oh dear.”
THE END
Posts Coming
Me Tired
I’ve finally gotten a weekend after thirteen days straight of working, and I’m too tired and lazy now to do Links of the Day. Anyway, vote in the poll (a lot of good answer to choose from) and tomorrow I’m going to post a special Friday In My World™ since I thought Wednesday’s one was a bit short.
Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest Number One Poll (You Vote Now!) and Questions for Group D (You Answer Now!)
Are you excited? Can you feel the tension?
Yes, it is time for new batch of bloggers to step up to the plate.
Let’s meet Group C!
Meet the Bloggers
The Blog of Xanadu (running now as the Campaign Center for Xanadu for President. Donations are now being accepted.)
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? J, jfielek, and on occasion, Xanadu.
* How long have you been blogging? About a year and a half. 16 January 2002 was my first post.
* Description of Site: It’s evolved into my Campaign for President. Donations are now being accepted.
* Praise Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J is The Man. Women spontaneously ovulate in his presence. Some even self impregnate. Dogs whimper and cower at his presence, cats flee, and the French piss their pants at the mere thought of him coming to England, much less France. The Eiffel Tower bursts into flame if a Frenchie even mentions his name (it happened just the other day). Monkeys self-castrate and flee into the jungle when Frank J approaches (this is hell on the Zoos and their breeding programs). Strong men feel faint in his presence. I even sign my email and posts ‘J’ just to emulate his Greatness. I like any of the “In My World” posts. That’s why Frank J is Official White House Historian starting in January 2005, after I win the election. Donations are now being accepted.
* What’s your favorite movie? Full Metal Jacket, just for R. Lee Ermey, my official White House Peace Envoy.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Mayor Quimby. I have political aspirations, too. Donations are now being accepted.
* Are you accepting donations? Yes.
* When are you accepting donations? Now.
[Ed. Okay, I added those last two myself.]
Bloviating Inanities
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Bill
* How long have you been blogging? About 10 months.
Description of site: I wouldn’t say mine was a personal weblog although I do talk about myself a lot because I love me. I try to talk about stuff people can relate to, like fat ankles and ass pollops.
Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J. is an engineer and that’s very impressive! Frank J. must be really smart! I would love to praise Frank J.’s blog but it is against my policy to compliment a blog when I’m not on their blog roll. Hopefully, this contest will remedy that. OK, it’s really frickin’ funny. My favorite post is New Agenda.
* What’s your favorite movie? South Park – The Movie. Satan, Saddam, Sodomy – it’s got it all.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Bleeding Gums Murphy. Don’t ask.
Collinization (he just moved from blogspot)
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? John, or Collins, it really doesn’t matter.
* How long have you been blogging? Let’s see, started in April, its now July, so carry the 7…it’ll be 20 years this Septober.
* Description of site: It’s me writing about whatever I happen to feel like
writing about at that time. Cursing and ill-conceived racial remarks abound.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank J. is the funniest guy I know who’s website ends in .us. My favorite post is “In My World: The Press
is Getting Bored of Seeing Daschle Mauled by a Gorilla Every Year“, because it is amusing while still factually accurate. What will that zany alcoholic Ari
Fleischer do next? [Ed. Leave the administration.]
* What’s your favorite movie? My favorite movie this week is Old School.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Homer.
What is the name of your site? Uncategorical (formerly GrahamLester.com)
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Graham Lester
* How long have you been blogging? Since April 2003
* Description of site: Limericks, commentary and satire.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Awesome!
* Favorite post: Know Thy Enemy: North Koreans
* What’s your favorite movie? Casablanca
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Barney
Mike
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Mike
* How long have you been blogging? Since July 7, 2003
* Description of site: My friends think I’m full of shit and my blog is my opportunity to prove them right. Eventually I will use it to take over the world and run it my way.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO: Frank is the Atlas on whose shoulders the Blogoshere rests. Favorite post? Any that irritate Glenn “I have no original content except for the occasional ‘Heh’ or ‘Indeed'” Reynolds. [Ed. Heh, I like that.]
* What’s your favorite movie? The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Bartman! “I didn’t do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can’t prove anything!” So Clintonesque. He’s a role model for all politicians and over-paid athletes.
Modularparrot.com
* What is your preferred name as a blogger? Stan, Bob, Jon, Darwin and Guy (The P-Team)
* How long have you been blogging? Stan and Bob for 1 year each in another life. Jon and the bird are virgin bloggers.
* Description of site: Authored by three guys and a talking African grey parrot; one conservative, one liberal and one libertarian. The bird is bipolar. Topics range from Naturally Dead Food™ to navel introspection; there’s something for everyone. Worth regular visits to see what’s new and exciting.
* Praise for Frank J. and IMAO:
Stan: Who is Frank J? What kind of name is that?
Bob: You know, he’s the guy that runs IMAO.US. Lots of quality humor and gratuitous references to puppy blending and ninjas. Excellent material in ‘Frank Answers’, ‘If I Were President’ and ‘In My World’. Seems like a nice guy.
Darwin: He’s that Unablogger guy isn’t he?
Bob: Shut up Darwin.
* What’s your favorite movie?
Stan: ModularParrot The Movie, of course
Bob: The Incredible Mr. Limpet
Darwin: Yeah, with Aquaman
* Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Stan: I’m thinking Johnnie Cochran. No fly-funk attorney has more style.
Bob: I’d say that prosecutor guy who was violating that prosecutor gal, but doesn’t Frank mean the cartoon Simpsons?
Stan: The Simpsons are a cartoon now? I bet Judge Ito is funny. Heh, heh.
Darwin:
Mamamontezz’s Mental Rumpus Room did not get answers in on time.
Here are their repsonses to the question in random order (revealing who wrote which is means for disqualification):
QUESTION: Name your least favorite species of monkey and explain why you dislike that monkey.
ANSWER 1: The European Moss-Back; a nearly-extinct subset of the infamous Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey. The EMB is distinguished by its lack of personal hygiene, infrequent showers and propensity to urinate in the street. Visual identification is simple; the EMB is heavily carpeted in thick hair on its back, arms, legs, and feet and often wears a beret to cover a hairless pate. Always has something in its mouth, usually one of its feet. Older EMBs tend to be grey-backed.
* EMBs chatter constantly, usually unintelligibly, and wouldn’t be caught dead communicating with lesser breeds. When they are caught dead, their meat is flabby, gamy and otherwise unpalatable.
* EMBs are not territorial; in fact, they rarely defend themselves except when there’s pride or oil involved, neither of which they posses in any significant quantity. So they tend to be red arsed from frequent beatings.
* They can only be moved to action by threats and big sticks, or by yelling “Rarr”. (16 words)
* EMBs tend to congregate around African cesspools, art museums, or plates heaped with rotting cheese, foie gras and crackers, and they show a peculiar attraction to whine.
ANSWER 2: The baboon is my least favorite species of monkey:
Baboons have ugly butts.
Baboons are scary.
Baboons will eat anything, including other baboons, and even humans.
The baboon is the most French of all the monkeys. Here are some solid proofs:
If you ask a baboon a simple question in English, he will act like he doesn’t speak the language.
If you ask the question again in French, the baboon will act arrogant, like you’re not good enough to merit the consideration of a reply.
Although baboons eat anything and anyone, I know of no case of a baboon eating a Frenchman.
Although they will also eat anything, I know of no case of a Frenchman eating a baboon. Obviously, there is an alliance.
If you ask to be served baboon in a French restaurant, they will become angry, like they have something to hide.
French organ grinders never use baboons.
There are no cases of baboon organ grinders using Frenchmen (except in captivity).
If you throw a beret to a troop of baboons, they will wait until you have gone and then the leader will put the beret on his head and quote Sartre.
Stop Press: Absolute proof of the Franco-Baboon Alliance can be found at this link.
ANSWER 3: At the risk of being permanently banned from IMAO, I have to confess that I love monkeys. All of them. The little guys are incredibly handy. They wash my dishes, pick up my dry cleaning, and occasionally pose as me on my blog. They even do windows, although they bitch about it. The only problem is that I can’t toilet-train them. Their union contract says that they don’t have to wear diapers so they shit wherever they want to.
ANSWER 4: Any form of macaque. Macaque is the French word for ‘monkey’. Leave it to the French to name the monkey after their tiny masculine body parts. We should shoot all macaques, and then shoot each French man in is ‘macaque’. As President, I’d make macaques illegal. Donations are now being accepted.
ANSWER 5: The Buffy-headed Marmoset. While this particular monkey appears cute, cuddly and harmless enough, I once witnessed two of these little bastards at a zoo. It wasn’t pretty. The male not only sexually assaulted the female, he then proceeded to steal her banana. She retaliated by throwing her fresh, steaming poo at him. I was afraid she would turn on me with the poo flinging so I headed over to a more well-behaved animal, the wolverine. Luckily, the Buffy-headed Marmoset is on the endangered species list.
ANSWER 6: Although I do hate all monkeys, my least favorite species is the apus moldus cowardus; the cheese-eating surrender monkey. Easily identified by their long, flowing back hair(females) and small genitals (males), this vile beast was the first species of monkey to fling excriment out of it’s mouth. These animals allow their food to rot for months, even years before consuming it. Some think that they enjoy the stench, as it covers their own putrid smell. Others, like myself, believe it is due to their intense fear of inanimate objects. For those reasons, the cheese-eating surrender monkey is the species of monkey I hate the most. Well, that and one of the little bastards bit me one time, and I think it gave me the AIDS. Don’t worry though; I put some windex on it.
There are the answers; all very good answers… but which is best!
PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!
POLL CLOSED (results here)
Poll closes 24 hours after this post (well, probably a bit later because I don’t have work tomorrow and I’m going to sleep in).
And now next round of questions for Group D!
GROUP D QUESTIONS:
What is the name of your site?
What is your preferred name as a blogger?
How long have you been blogging?
Give a brief description of your site.
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
What’s your favorite movie?
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
SHORT ANSWER QUESTION: In 200 words or less, describe the best way to kill a Communist.
You have 24 hours from the time of this post to get me your answers. Godspeed.
I Do Not Recall
It’s final; there is going to be a recall vote for Governor Gray Davis. Wow, California politics sure are interesting… I mean to observe from afar; I sure as hell wouldn’t want to live there. Anyway, I think it’s weird to try and recall Davis just after reelecting him, so I’m going to offer some tips to help him stay in office.
TOP TEN WAYS GRAY DAVIS CAN AVOID GETTING RECALLED
10. Mention day of vote only once and hope people forget recall.
9. Wear glasses. Voters wouldn’t recall a man with glasses.
8. Sincerely promise to be a really good governor from now on.
7. Use dark sorcery to make multiple images of himself. “You can recall one of us, but will you recall the right one? Muh ha ha ha!”
6. Make commemorative license plates saying, “California: Worst Governor Ever”. Those would be just silly if they recalled Gray Davis.
5. Trick Arnold Schwarzenegger to crawl through a hydraulic press.
4. Put vicious monkeys at all polling places to attack anyone who votes for a recall. “Yes, attack, my pretties, attack! Muh ha ha ha!”
3. Having already sold his soul to the devil to win reelection, he could try and blackmail Jesus.
2. Have annoying Hollywood liberals all come together to a conference show their support for Davis. Then, lock the building and burn it down as sacrifice to voters.
And the number one way Gray Davis can avoid getting recalled…
Run away.
Links of the Day
Bill Whittle mad! Bill Whittle smash!
Annika is beautiful, and she knows her movies. I couldn’t agree with her more.
Cute.
A story about how Ronald Reagan beat the Soviets which includes a plug for my shirt… now that a good post!
You’ve probably heard about the Berkeley study about how conservatives are crazy, well Banagor analyzes what makes a liberal.
Out Side the Beltway is having a caption contest. At least it’s at both me and the Enemy’s expenses.
hln fisks someone who has an irrational fear of cyclists. Wow, even right-wingers can be nutty sometimes. Who’d a thunk?
The Carnival of the Vanities is up.
I don’t always have a lot of time each day to peruse the blogosphere, so don’t be afraid to send me a link to one of your posts if you think it’s especially worthy. Just don’t bug me too often (try to keep e-mails to once a week) or get too upset if I don’t use it.
Super Lucky Happy Fun Permalink Contest Number One Round 2 Over
The poll is closed.
Damn this was a close one. 239 votes total.
The question was: Describe how bombing Paris will help Uganda’s economy.
And the winning answer is: Answer 1, written by Serenity of Serenity’s Journal. It got 64 votes (27%).
A loud cheer will erupt, “Paris is burning!” and millions of people will race to the streets all over the world to party. The next morning, gallons upon gallons of Uganda coffee and tons of Uganda sugar will be needed to revitalize everyone. This process will be repeated for years as there is no such thing as, “Celebrating too much after Paris falls.” While everyone is happy and drunk, a contest will emerge to rename the, “Paris Club debt relief” and all proceeds will go to Uganda. This will be cause for another great celebration and the festivities will continue for another 100 years.
Answer 2 was written by Pink Zebra of Experimenting with Mental Exhibitionism. It got 54 votes (23%).
Since coffee is Uganda’s main export, bombing Paris would cause a decrease in demand for the coffee it imports from India, repackages and sells to Vietnamese restaurants in the United States where it is brewed and mixed with sweetened, condensed milk to make Vietnamese coffee. The resulting destabilization of the global coffee market, the world’s second-most widely traded commodity, would inevitably work to Uganda’s economic favor as soon as Donald Rumsfield finds out that Vietnam (the world’s second largest exporter of coffee) STILL hasn’t been blown off the map yet. Uganda’s only rival in dominating the world coffee market would then be, Brazil, currently the number one exporter of coffee and also a country which not only blatantly harbors monkeys but continues to discover new species of them within its own borders. Clearly, something will be done about Brazil before Uganda’s economy completely implodes.
Answer 3 was written by Wince of Wince and Nod. It got 15 votes (6%).
Drunk with ambition and crazed by syphilis, Idi Amin decided that the path to riches and world power would be for Uganda to surpass France as the greatest wine producer. By kidnapping the greatest French grape growers, Idi was able to make Ugandan vineyards the envy of Africa. Foreseeing his own downfall and eventual demise, Amin had long ago arranged a secret cloning project. Now his clone is poised to bring their plot to fruition by bombing Paris, making Entebbe the wine-making capital of the world.
Answer 4 was written by Nephi of The Stormin’ Mormon. It got 39 votes (16%).
Bombing Paris would ideally result in the elimination of the French Government. As such, French farms would no longer be subsidized, allowing Ugandan goods to be more competitive. France’s clout in the EU would also be destroyed, paving the way for removal of importation bans on Genetically Modified Foods making genetic modification a profitable investment for Uganda. As Ugandan scientists exploit their new freedom they will develop superior strains of mutant celery capable of intimidating neighbors into paying tribute. Sadly, these mutant vegitables may not be able to conquer France itself, as the French Army may suddenly become competent with the removal of the government.
Answer 5 was written by Dave of The Wise Man Says. It got 10 votes (4%).
Bombing Paris will create thousands of jobs in the cleaning up of the residue and ashes (and blood and guts, and the slaughter of any remaining bad French people, which will be all of them because we will convince the good ones to immigrate to the US or to Britain before we bomb them). We will hire Ugandans to do this, thus pumping millions into their economy.
Answer 6 was written by Tiger of Tiger: Raggin’ & Rantin’. It got 57 votes (24%).
I suspect that if we flew over Paris and shoved a million Ugandans out of airplanes, the economy of Uganda would immediately improve. Paris would be a bloody mess.
I’m almost ashamed to admit that was the one I voted for. It almost won, too, but, so far, I still keep the tradition of never voting for the winner in one of my polls.
Congratulations again to Serenity of Serenity’s Journal who joins Tom Bridge of Adventures in Trouble Shooting as a finalist.
New poll tomorrow of Group C and the questions for Group D.
Frank Answers: Help for a Libertarian, Laughing at Death, and the Year of the Monkey
Bryan Smith from Somewhere East of Hell, Virginia writes:
The quiz at http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html identified me as a
“Libertarian” even though I’ve always thought of myself as a republican. Do
you know of any support groups that may be able to help me out?
Sorry, I don’t know of any support groups, but I can give you some advice to help out. Take two positions that seem contradictory – like saying you hate the nanny state which prevent people from buying cigarettes and guns but want marijuana to be illegal because you hate hippies – and, when someone calls you on being inconsistent, reply, “I don’t give a rat’s ass.” Don’t fall for that false god of consistency, or there may be no help for you and you’ll find yourself supporting canidates who don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting elected and are blue in color.
Diane from Basara, Iraq writes:
Please help, as I’m not sure if I should seek counseling. After watching the
confirmation that Saddam’s spawn were both dead, I didn’t turn off the
television. I left it on so I could hear over and over and over again that
we had killed them and laugh almost hysterically each time. Is there
something wrong with me?
No, reacting to the deaths of these two (as Buck would say) extra foreign people is perfectly natural. Me, I did a happy dance upon hearing the news. Who needs help are the few people who hate God, man, and America, and gnash their teeth at good news about the war. Give them two whacks with a Cluebat™ and call me in the morning.
Steve the Marine in Hawaii asks:
What is your stance on people born on the year of the monkey? Inherently evil, is there any hope?
I don’t believe in those silly superstitions, but, to be on the safe side, I would watch any person born in the year of monkey with deep suspicion. Whenever they near, keep your hand near your gun and your eyes on them at all times. And, try to delay pregnancies to make sure a child is not born in such a year. That may be harsh for a pregnant woman, but I don’t care because I’m a man.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.