Me home now. Here are the full results for the poll.
The question was: In 200 words or less, describe the best way to kill a
Communist.
And the winning answer is: Answer 5, written by dr.dna of the voodoo lounge. It got 63 votes (28%).
Get an Islamic suicide terrorist to blow up near him. Two birds with one stone.
Answer 1 was written by Susie of Practical Penumbra. It got 55 votes (24%).
The best way to kill a commie depends on one’s own personal idiom. There are those who prefer weapons grade plutonium in a puppie smoothie, and others who insist that a katana and a Colt 1991 will do. I, however, am of the school that believes the old tried-and-true remedies work best: capitalism (and lots of it!).
Answer 2 was written by Bloodthirsty Warmonger of Over The Edge. It got 26 votes (11%).
Almost anything can be justified, as long as you have a good recipe for it. The Japanese in me wanted to turn him into sushi — then I came to my senses, realizing that you need the freshest ingredients for that. As I plunged into the nefarious depths, my thoughts turned to the fine art of jungle warfare. We could let him out into the jungle with a five-minute head start, pursued by Buck the Marine, who’s been given the order to shoot him on sight, like a mad dog.! But before that happens, he could be done in by a variety of booby traps. My favorite method of turning him into hamburger would be the Bouncing Betty, the mine with the spring device that causes a bomb to explode at chest level. Of course there will be cameras to record the expression of surprise on his face in his last second of life. Muh ha ha ha!
Answer 3 was written by Elliot of Curiosity. It got 57 votes (25%).
Drop him in a pit with monkeys. Tell the monkeys he’s a Jew (monkeys are anti-semitic).
Answer 4 was written by Norbizness of Happy Furry Puppy Story Time. It got 7 votes (3%).
Put a bomb in Yao Ming’s ribcage during a Chinese National Team basketball exhibition game in Beijing. .
Answer 6 was written by Attila Girl of Little Miss Attila. It got 20 votes (9%).
Wouldn’t that depend on the range?–I could see a variety of firearms as being really useful for this project. But please do not forget poison, which creates a lot of pain. If you can get close to the communist in question, I would recommend working poison into their food. Don’t mess around with ice picks; that’s silly.
I voted for Susie’s answer because she has been trying to get a link for a while. I guess she’ll never get one now; I wish there was something I could do. If I hadn’t voted for hers, I would have probably voted for Answer 3; it was so random it cracked me up.
Congratulations to dr. dna of the voodoo lounge. He will compete against Modularparrot.com, Serenity’s Journal, and Adventures in Trouble Shooting in the final round.
The poll for Group E will be up soon, as well as the question for the last group, Group F.
Hmmm… perhaps Answer 3’s Elliot was a Buffy fan, since at some point that show made an off-hand comment that monkeys were all French, and given the recent anti-Semitism in France, the conclusion follows logically.
Curse you, Frank (and your little dog, too)! You jinxed me!
Well, I thought #1, Capitalism, was the best (yay Susie!), though #2 was a close second (even though not too many agree — it only got 11% of the vote).
dr dna, the winner, no offense, but your answer was actually the first one I ruled OUT. How could you get an Islamist terrorist to blow up commies when they’re their biggest apologists?!
Tuning Spork: um, but islamic terrorists hate everybody. including commies. they’d probably even blow up cute kittens and puppies if they didn’t wear burkhas. Or, you could trick them. Terrorists aren’t very bright either. You could just say, hey look! an infidel! let’s keel him! and they’d do it.
dr dna, aaaah, fair point!
i like buffy but i haven’t seen very many episodes, and can’t remember anything about monkeys on the show.
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