After hearing about that mother who found it more important to become a “martyr” than take care of her children, I realized that I never appreciated my own mom enough. So, I’ve written her a poem:
THANK YOU MOM FOR NOT BLOWING YOURSELF UP
by Frank J.
Mom, you’ve always been there for me,
Whether with band-aid in hand or bail money.
And though that may not seem like some great feat,
I now appreciate that you never blew up across some street.
And though it angered me you wouldn’t buy me a sugary cereal,
At least you never sought revenge against Israel.
Instead you were there to tuck me in at night,
Not running out the door strapping on dynamite.
Though I did once try to goad you
When I broke a vase and blamed it on a Jew,
But you were too smart for that
And knew the culprit was my bat.
Now I don’t remember to call every weekend and take it for granted
That the plight of the Palestinians never made you murderously disenchanted.
I just hope that the relationship between us has not corroded,
So know I love you, Mom, and am glad you’re not exploded.
Touching…
You owned a bat? What did you feed it?
It warms my heart to see things like this.
Frank, have you thought about writing songs? Or maybe rap music?
Dynamite poem – really explodes off the page – I think you’ve ignited my creative side.
It’s Not Even Mother’s Day (Rosemary)
Hamas has been upping the ante with homocide bombers. They plan to use more women. Some of those women are mothers. Inspired by this tragedy,…
Dynamite poem Frank! I think youe new career could be explosive.
That poem is da bomb! 🙂
(ugh…)
No more puns.
(tear)…sniffle…
I just voted–the power balance is bilateral now.
read Frank now or else
omg this is so good…
Compassionate Conservatism????
How bad would your kids have to be to make blowing yourself up seem preferable? Great poem. Sort of Ogden Nash meets Charles Addams….
I wonder how that mom said goodbye to her kids? “Goodbye my darlings, I’m now going to abandon you and commit a murder/suicide based on my ignorant, misled national convictions. But always remember that mommy loves you….just not more than myself. Oh right, one last thing: Joooooos!!!!!”
This has to be the first time I have ever seen Cereal used in a rhyme with Israel.
Pure. F’in. Genius.
Frank, I’d just like to say that this show of emotion is quite touching. Momma’s boy.
Your mother may not have exploded but you never know when an aunt may spontaneously combust.
Be careful, I lost 4 aunts in the great aunt fire of London. 67 aunties went up like flares for no apperant reason. Some men in black blamed it on marsh gas but I wasn’t fooled.
Frank, did you really mean “Though” instead of “Thought”?
Hey, I know it’s nitpicky. But you berated us for not picking up on an earlier typo.
You’re right – and I used though way too many times.
And you’re supposed to e-mail corrections, beacause, once I fix it, it makes the comment meaningless.
Frank:
Another piece of pure genius!
My mom is gone now, but she never blew herself up, either. She stuck around through thick and thin. I miss her. Nothing wrong with being a momma’s boy.
As for the woman who did blow herself up..WTF! Oh, yeah, that’s right. It’s those crazy Joooos that are the problem. Riiiiiight!
mikey
An Ode to a Mother
Frank J. writes a poem to his mother, explaining beforehand: After hearing about that mother who found it more important to become a “martyr” than take care of her children, I realized that I never appreciated my own mom enough….
Damn! Frnak had a mother. All I had was a Perti Dish and a Pyrex Beaker in the undeground lab where I… Oooops! Not supposed to talk about that!.. Great Poem!
fantastic, Frank – will send to my Mom
(tear)….will you move away with me? sniff……
Cox and Forkum were inspired by this story as well….
http://www.coxandforkum.com/archives/000258.html
No more puns? Damn, I though they were a blast.
A Tribute to Motherhood
Frank J. thanks his mother….
What a touching poem.
We always hoped our mother would go blow herself up. It wasn’t that we wanted her to murder Jews or anything, it was more so that she would stop coming back after her little trips away from home. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her for a few years…
“beacause, once I fix it, it makes the comment meaningless.”
hehe! I’ll point this out ‘beacause’ it’s meaningful
Exploding Mothers
This (IMAO: A Poem for a Whole Mother) has got to be one of the most brilliant tongue-in-cheek posts I’ve ever read. Time to add another site to the blogroll….
sniff Mom!
What a touching poem – almost brings a tear to my eye. It’s little things that Mom always does that mean so much – like not trying to kill Jews.
My boyfriend is Jewish so that makes me extra glad that she doesn’t try to kill them. Although it would make for an interesting Thanksgiving…
It’s happy, and sappy
With Semtexy fun
For all; except Hallmark
(Who ain’t on line one)
:>)
Very touching, Frank.
What I want to know, though, is if men who “martyr” themselves get a bunch of virgins, what do women “martyrs” get? A bunch of virgin men?? Sucks to be them.
Oh, Frank. If you weren’t so young, I’d marry you.
Such a good boy, he writes poems to his mother. [pinching cheeks]
Words To His Mother
In light of the who hated Israelis more than she loved her own two Palestinian motherchildren, Frank J. composed appreciative…
Thanking Mom for Staying in One Piece
Lots of folks linking this one but I think it’s too twistedly amusing not to reprint in full. The background, of course is the recent suicide bombing by a 22-year old mother of two toddlers. THANK YOU MOM FOR NOT…
Hi Frank, I hope you get to read this comment so i dont have to send you email about it…
Coming across the urban dictionary and after looking up countless words and laughing like a gradeschool kid I put IMAO in for a clear definition – what I got was funnier than Howard Dean himself
IMAO – In My Arrogant Opinion
and …
IMAO – In My Ass Ok
ROFLMAO
Now tell us all, was that the purpose of the site?
Are you hiding in the closet Frank?
Check out the link i posted if you want the same laugh.
Has the mourning period ended?
Good…My question is: What does a FEMALE martyr get in heaven?
77 Virgin Girls? Hmmm…
77 Virgins Guys? Yikes!
Perhaps an electrical ‘friend’ with 77 different attachments?
I must say, I am not ‘boned-up’ enough on the Koran to know…
Any thoughts?
spark21
Man, when my mom blew up at me, she mostly just turned red and yelled a lot. I’m glad I didn’t have to dodge poison-laced ball-bearings just because I forgot to take out the trash.
Regarding female martyrs: instead of 77 virgins, they get, like, 6 grizzled barflies.
Boom
Frank’s written a poem about his mom….
The problem with female homicide bombers is difficulty in coordinating the colors of wire, blasting caps and explosives with your lingerie.
And what fragrance goes with C-4 or TNT?
It’s better than Tom Paulin’s stuff.
I think a greeting card is in order! Frank, you could be rich! (And that is the goal, is it not?)
Hmmm. If this was a very old bomb I guess you could say that this was a blast from the past.
Rhyming cereal and Israel is truly inspired…move over Shakespeare!
Shakespeare can’t move. He’s dead.
Of course he can move. He’s already rolling over in his grave.
My Mommy’s the Bomb!
I’m pretty sure many of you have heard about the Mommy-bomber over in Israel recently. Frank at IMAO wrote an interesting poem about his mother in comparison to the Mommy-bomber. Given the age of her children (ages 3 and 1),…
Ode To Mom
After reading about the Palestinian mother of two who blew herself up to kill some Jews, Frank J. at IMAO has written a poem to thank his own mother for not blowing herself up while he was growing up. Mwah-hah-ha…
When the Arabs love their children more than they hate us, there will be peace.
You know Frank, I’m so thinking of writing some music to these lyrics…
It’s almost funny…but it’s eye-opening, once you really think about it. I like it.
“what do women “martyrs” get? ”
no idea, what do Tamil Tigers get when they suicide bomb enemy forces ?
did Colonel H Jones get 72 virgins for suicide charging Argie troops ?
http://www.geocities.com/pentagon/barracks/5630/jones.html
“murder/suicide ”
surely these were enemy forces, 3 of them soldiers – sad when anyone dies but thats called war not murder.
if Israel wanted peace why did they reject the road map peace treaty while the Pals were on ceasefire keeping their part of the deal ?
“When the Arabs love their children more than they hate us, there will be peace.”
When the Israelis love their children more than they lust for Palestinian land there will be peace.
A poem for Mom
Frank J. (My enemy or something) has posted a wonderful poem to his mother. I’d like to say that I echo the feelings it espouses exactly but with my mom in place of his mom: THANK YOU MOM FOR NOT…
Ollie, if you believe the PA kept a ceasefire for any discernable period during the roadmap to peace (aka “Highway to Hell”), you’re beyond hope.
They ain’t no such thing as Palestinian land.
Shakespeare is doing the same thing that Mozart and Handel are doing…………
decomposing.
SW, Palestinian land is the land Palestinians have been living on for far longer than Euro Americans have lived in the US.
but nice to hear your jibe at Bush’s road map.
Spark, not only is it an uncontestable fact that the Pals accepted the road map without conditions and implemented a ceasefire that resulted in no Hamas/IJ attacks on Israelis in July but it is also a fact that Israel rejected the peace treaty out of hand because the last thing Sharon wants is peace.
Straight away Israel announced 14 reservations http://www.us-israel.org/jsource/Peace/road1.html
basically refusing to meet any of its commitments.
Sharon then rejected the road map on the 31 st July announcing he’d continue his land grab of Pal land in defiance of the road map or “Israeli women would be forced to have abortions”
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/08/01/world/main566251.shtml
and
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3115325.stm
if Bush has clamped down on Israeli violations like he said he would (he earlier said he’d “ride herd” to ensure Israel and the Pals met their commitments
http://www.jerusalemites.org/news/english/jun2003/5a.htm ) then many Israelis and Pals would be alive today.
The IDf then assassinated a string of Hamas/IJ leaders on Aug 8 and 14 which provoked, as Sharon must have realised, the August 19 suicide bombing (which I regard as not justifiable but certainly inevitable given Sharon’s actions)
http://in.news.yahoo.com/030808/137/26rqn.html
and
http://www.unhchr.ch/Huridocda/Huridoca.nsf/(Symbol)/E.CN.4.2004.G.7.En?Opendocument
a nice & wonderful poem…
ive been badly beaten from the state i dont know what to do any more.
That was a good post, thank you!
That was a good post, thank you!
Interesting… that’s good info to know.
Interesting… that’s good info to know.
These posts are great. I now know why I keep coming back. Thanks!
These posts are great. I now know why I keep coming back. Thanks!
I know why I keep coming back. Thanks!
I know why I keep coming back. Thanks!
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