Hey everybody. Anyway, I have this huge announcement. You are going to be totally blown away!
But first, a message from our sponsors. Remember, without advertisements, you can’t have huge announcements such as this one you will soon have. Thus, make sure to check out any IMAO advertiser to say thanks for supporting this site, its humor, and its announcements.
First, there is Network Solutions, who both build and host websites. Remember only losers use blogspot.
Then there is Poolitics where you can bet on politics. Politics and gambling – two vices together at last.
Also, if you’re in Michigan and Ohio and don’t have a CCW, I have the link for you. Be a good citizen and get your CCW.
Finally, regular advertisers Right Wing Stuff and The Casual Conservative are back. Make sure to keep checking them out for new stuff.
Also, I’d just like to thank Doug the T-Shirt guy from ThoseShirts.com. The Chomps t-shirt is almost done, BTW.
Well, I’ll talk to you guys later. Be honorable, ronin.
Oh yeah! The announcement!
It’s time for THE IMAO EMPLOYEE TEAM-BUILDING TRIP 2004!!!
This year’s slogan, chosen by the Slogan Committee, is: Using teamwork to foster synergy for a whole new paradigm.
The place for the team-building trip as chosen by the Team-Building Committee is the Grand Canyon. Afterwards, we’ll all go to a Dave Matthews Band concert and have a contest for most conservative t-shirt in the crowd.
Unfortunately, because of the lack of hot spots in the Grand Canyon, all the employees of IMAO – that being Frank J. the writer and SarahK the t-shirt babe – will not be available for further writing or further modeling from the 20th to the 25th. Thus, guest bloggers will be filling in.
Hopefully, this team-building exercise will lead to an even better IMAO when all the employees of IMAO return.
There, that was the announcement. Now go back to your normal lives.
UPDATE: SarahK comments.
FIRST!! 🙂
That’s it?
Frank, you will be strangled.
Almost first… 🙂
One wonders what kind of team building trip this will be… thinks marriage = synonym of team 🙂
NO. WAY!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!! OHMYGOODNESS!!!!! NO. WAY!!!!
its about fricking time.
No kidding… Frank, if Sarahk doesn’t come back from this trip with a pretty rock on her left ring finger, you’re going to have a lot to answer to… taps baseball bat
OMG, I am totally blown away!!!
I hear that it can get very hot up there, so be certain to take lots of pictures. The foolish will laugh at this non sequitor, but the wise will know what I mean. 🙂
What? No thank you for those of us who kept our big mouths shut??
Who will be the guest blogger? It had better be someone good, or else…(shakes fist menacingly)
So the tshirt modeling contest was fixed from the gitgo? Or has this relationship developed after the fact. I wondered why those two dolls from the UC-Rackadelphia campus didn’t make the grade.
jonag, thank you for keeping your big mouth shut since i couldn’t.
Ah, love is in the air. Oh wait, that’s just Aqua Velva. As an old married man, let me tell you everything I know about women. (Sound of crickets). Oh wait shoes! Chicks love shoes! Bring SarahK lots of shoes, and someday in the not too distant future there will be lots of FrankJ Jrs out there with blogs.
wow, I’ve been sitting at my computer for 20 minutes waiting for this post; and somehow, there’s still people posting before me. Coconuts, some of you are pretty presumptious. I wonder who the imao guest bloggers will be. Glenn Reynolds? nah. Frank wouldn’t let puppy blenders blog for him.
JONAG KNEW!!!! pouts
Cool. First Whitler announces his babe, and now Frank does.
Which blogger is next? Guesses, anyone?
Sarahk, no prob. Just bring me back some cactus candy or something. Wait! I live here! Never mind.
But if you two start getting that creepy feeling that you are being followed or stalked or something….it’s not me…..really. That would be weird.
It’s the classic movie plotline, old as The Maltese Falcon: Moon-nuking, class-clown webblogger falls in love with his t-shirt model, who is also a brainy blogger herself. Err, maybe not classic, but interesting!
Have fun, kids.
Steve
DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS: Worldviews Behind The News
Wow… Way to go you two!! Are you going to stay at the Phantom Ranch. The wife and I have been twice. Very romantic place. Oh wait,, sorry,this is a business meeting and that could be construed as unwanted attention or sexual harassment.. Anyway I would be jealous if I was not happily married. A trip to the GC with a T-shirt babe.
Frank your my hero.
HAVE FUN!!!!
hmm I am somehow not satisified. Doesn’t Dave Matthews attract a lot of hippies? Have you both had all your shots?
“Afterwards, we’ll all go to a Dave Matthews Band concert and have a contest for most conservative t-shirt in the crowd.”
I don’t think conservatives are allowed into Dave Matthews concerts.
Oh?
Oohhhh! That is soooo sweet! And precious, cute and other kinds of mushy things and I better stop saying how adorable and romatic I find this announcement now before I have to reach for the tissue box!
snif
Too late!
snif
Anybody got a kleenex?
It makes me wonder about my earlier comment about the coworker with child…
dun dun dunnn
remember….no Frank J babies….yet.
Oh My!
Haven’t you heard? SarahK already has two illegitemate blog children with FrankJ..
Well, that I know of…
RightWingDuck.blog-city.com and ReedtheViking.blogspot.com
I’m not sure about Joshua though…(michaelsavagelistener.blog-city.com) He may be an immaculate conception ;P
(I would eventually like these two to be my blog-parents, but after reading this they’ll probably put me up for adoption… To the Puppy-Blender Guy….)
I have an announcement too! We just got T1 at work MUWHAHAHAHAH IMAO at the speed of thought Mother (censored) HA HAHAH LALALALA AHA HAHAHA
btw we only have 6 full users, all that speed, and no one to share it with HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHA
Hey, this is a business trip for team-building… and thus fully tax-deductible.
Frank and SarahK
1. Congrats!
2. Does Arizona have an open-carry law?
(Would be helpful at the Dave ‘I’m a Big Fat Warbling Socialist’ Matthews concert)
I don’t understand the post…
I’ll read it again.
Team building…. hmmmm…..
The last time I did “Team Building” exercises, it was quite physical. All that wrestling and groping and stuff…
But that was the military, so I guess I digress…
Being retired military, I guess I just miss the “good ol’ days”
Have fun kids–..
Last time I was in Arizona there were open carry and conceal-carry.
It is the “west” remember. We like guns, big shiny guns.
And as for the Grand Canyon – go to Williams on old Route 66 and stop at the Dairy Queen. That was a recurring road-trip I had in my young (single) days e.g. going to Dairy Queen all over the great state of AZ
AZ better go for Bush this fall if it knows what’s good for it, electing that dunderhead Democrat Governor Janet Nepalitano, she of the famous “[the gas pipeline rupture halving the fuel supply to the Phoenix metro-area] is a problem, not a crisis” fame.
I bet there are weapon laws for the Grand Canyon. Otherwise, I’d be packing in case I run into squirrels.
Your favorite Soccer Mom is delighted to hear this. Now remember that I have offered to provide keyboard music and/or vocals for any special occasions that might arise from this… I actually played for a wedding in Les Cayes, Haiti, a week ago. A six-hour drive through the mountains from Port-au-Prince, but very worth it.
You two behave yourselves…
i am so jealous of you guys and you’d better have some serious, crazy, uninhibited fun because I’d sure do it in a heartbeat if i had even a scrap of a chance
… and don’t do anything you’d be embarrassed to blog about, okay?
And I will pray for you both. : ) God bless you.
Better meet Spydaddy first.
Uh, Frank? This is a strange way of asking Sarahk for a date.
don’t worry, Frank. i’m bringing something to take care of the ground squirrels. patent-pending.
spacemonkey, Spidade approves,he reads IMAO. when i told him we were going, he said, “oh yeah? frank j? cool. can i come?”
and Bikermommy, she’s cool w/ it too, but she doesn’t want to go with us.
my coworkers all think Frank’s gonna off me, but i keep assuring them he needs me around to model tshirts.
Arizona is definitely gun country (which really freaked us out when we moved here from Portland). But the Canyon is Indian land so you make have to settle for a bow and arrow when dealing with the squirrels.
I remember back in the day when Frank had to have a personal ad to find women. Now….Now they flock to him and go to the Grand Canyon.
My oh my, things have changed.
That was simply an experiment for humor value 🙂
Yeah Frank, the Grand Canyon is a National Park, and the constitution doesn’t apply there, so you’ll have to be unarmed and rely on SarahK’s smile to save you both from goblins, liberals, and coyotes.
Oh, and maybe a big diamond engagement ring can be used to blind attackers and ward them off.
Two things:
1) Frank, you are a lucky bastard. You’d better not let us down here – half the species, and 95% of the Net, is going to be pissed if you screw this one up – though I’d like to point out that screwing it other ways is highly encouraged 😉
2) How do I get a guest blogger spot?
Remember, what happens in the Grand Canyon, stays in the Grand Canyon.
Unless, of course, you come back and tell us all about it, which we darn well expect!
Enjoy.
thanks for announcing frank. i feel as though i’ve gotten some information from you.
Two words Frank, and you will be the number one blogger on the web. web cam.
Wow. There’s something contagious going around the blogosphere…
First Whitler. Now Frank J.
Hey, have fun. It sounds, like, totally synergistic. You’re in for a gorgeous sunset or two.
Frank, the 20th is not that far off. Have you thought about doing some laundry? Packing dirty socks can be a paradigm-killer.
Grand Canyon? The “throw the leftie” competition is on – and if environuts complain, remember: they’re lefties too. Bonus points for longer scream echoes.
“Here’s my advice on women: Don’t give them nicknames like ‘Jumbo’ and ‘Boxcar’. And always get receipts. It makes you look like a business guy”
BS. Finding an annoying nickname works. As long as… tut tut, no divulging seduction secrets ;-).
I have a cat that makes short work of squirrels, drop by and you can pick him up (he answers to the name of shampoo).
btw Still on T1 Imao takes like 1 second to load, it used to take 25 seconds with 512. mmmmmmm t1 line mmmmmm
Laughin my ass off at the “What happens in the Grand Canyon…” bit. Priceless
Heh, I was waiting for some announcement along these lines. ^^
I was wondering when my question would get FrankJ motivated to ask you on a ‘business trip’. ^~
Have fun.
-007
A tryst!
Keeping with the idea of giving FrankJ ‘woman advice’ using the immortal words of Homer
“Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! ”
Sarahk should be more than enough ‘drink’ for you.
LOL, I figured the announcement would be something like this. Congratulations, Frank. You’ve done a hell of a lot better with…well, this…than I have…but no one here needs to hear my tragic story…no…this is something to celebrate! HOORAY FRANK J & SARAH K!
Although, I must say, y’all are more f***in’ nuts than Sean Hannity was when he went to the DNC. Dave Matthews?! Sure, his music is OK, but all those HIPPIES and COMMUNISTS! ICK! Might as well go to a RATM concert with the Limey! LOL!
Seriously, take care of yourselves. Some of them might know who you are. And even if they don’t, if you’re wearing conservative t-shirts, Matthews himself might throw his guitar at you…which would actually be kinda cool…LOL
Love, for your love,
Antodav
More wisdom from the great Homer Simpson: “A woman is like a refrigerator, about 6 feet tall, 200 lbs…”
I’m not sure about Joshua though…(michaelsavagelistener.blog-city.com) He may be an immaculate conception ;P
Woo hoo, I am the Jesus of the bloggers!
That’s allot of responsibility…
..hmm…
Can I just be the Brian of the bloggers (‘Life of Brian’ -Monty Python)?
yes,i do read IMAO and i know everything that goes on.but remember Frank,she’s still my little girl,meaning she can handle herself,gun or not! so beware.
uh oh…
I’ll be good!
Who are these “guest bloggers” going to be? I believe it’s safe to assume that sarahk will not be one of them.
You know, I may be totally wrong, but I’m thinking maybe this “Employee Team-Building Trip” is actually a Frank/SarahK “get to know each other better” trip. If that is the case, I need to say:
IT’S ABOUT FREAKING TIME!
Carry on, you two lovebirds.
“yes,i do read IMAO and i know everything that goes on.but remember Frank,she’s still my little girl,meaning she can handle herself,gun or not! so beware.”
Spidade, it sounds like you’ve raised her right. For anyone with a daughter entering the dreaded dating years, here’s my plan for when my daughter begins dating (not until she’s 30!):
Invite her new beau to help you ‘out back for a moment’. Lead him out the back door where you have a Coleman Lantern and a shovel waiting… Light the lantern, hand him the shovel, and proceed out into the woods (we have 80+ acres of heavily-wooded Alabama wilderness behind our house) where you instruct him to dig a hole while you tell him how precious your daughter is to you and how upset you’d be if anything ever happened to make her unhappy…
If he seems even mildly unimpressed, keep him digging until his hands are sufficiently blistered (so he’ll be sure to keep them iced and to himself), then walk him back to the house, clap him on the back, and wish the kids a good time as you begin smearing camo greasepaint on your face. Look him cold in the eye as you say the single word “midnight”. Make sure he sees you turn back into the woods with some heavy rope and a long-handled axe. 😉
OK, maybe I am just a little too real world for the blog-o-sphere (do you spell it this way here???) But does anyone think maybe these two people should meet in person for the first time BEFORE anyone starts asking for ring sizes? Just checking.
Oh wait, that’s right, at least one of these sites is comedy and being rediculous makes some of y’all perfect readers!
Ja, of course you’re right. But it seems far more interesting to contemplate ring sizes(or webcams…mmm, webcams) than to bet on how they’re going to split the bar tab.
And let’s be honest here – in this day and age, you could quite rationally get away with meeting in person for the sole purpose of making sure that nobody used Photoshop. Mind you, meeting before that is probably a good thing, but not really necessary for people to know each other.
Alsadius,
I remember the day when they didn’t see each other till the weddin’ day….ah…the false memories…
Mind you, meeting before that is probably a good thing, but not really necessary for people to know each other.
Very, very true….
Just one more year till I can get my CCW………
Aw, Aren’t They Cute?
It’s just a business meeting, I’m sure of it! Congrats, you crazy kids you. Dangit, I need a T-Shirt Babe. Does that mean I have to make a T-Shirt? Cuz I can do that, honest… just go ahead and submit…
Hey Joshua. Was that “memory” seared into your mind? lol
lol… A smatter of fact, yes.
Road Trip!
Just because our beloved Frank has scampered off to see the Grand Canyon with IMAO tee shirt babe sarahk is no reason to quit reading IMAO, especially since the Divine Mister O (aka Harvey of Bad Example) is helping to…