MUST CREDIT IMAO!!!
It has been reported to me by credible sources that, to show her commitment to homeland security, Nancy Pelosi is now patrolling San Francisco with a shotgun shouting, “If you want to terrorize this country, you have to get through me!”
An area man was heard to react, “Can you believe the dress she is wearing? Oh, and those shoes! Hellooooo!”
SUPER BIG NEWS!!! YOU CREDIT IMAO NOW!!!
So she’s “..not patrolling…” where’s the joke in that? If she was NOW patrolling, then we got something funny.
Never ever first. Is it a typo on the NP is “not” patrolling?
wasn’t she a gas last night in her little rebuttal to the state of the union?
let me sum it up for her…
“Yeah, but, everything still sucks!”
It was breaking news. I was hurried to get it out and didn’t have time to proof check.
Give me a break! The whole State of the Union was a joke. Did you see that fat Iraqi whore crying as she hugged the dead baby killer’s mom? It was Staged!! There are no fat Iraqis because George Bush blew up all of the food! That is what caused the tsunami! Don’t you people see? Don’t the voices inside your head tell you the truth too? George Bush has been out to get fat Iraqis ever since he shot Martin Luther King Jr.! Arnold Schwarzennegger fondled me!
She better stay out of the Tenderloin.
“DANCE, bitch!…”
I never fondled Nancy Pelosi! This is preposterous. Until today I thought she was a girlie-man with one of those funny french foreignor man names like Jean or Francis or Jose-Maria or Nancy.
And why would I not think she was a man? What with the voice and the adam’s apple and the testicles and all of these things?
God Bless America!
Nancy Pelosi is so French!
Oh wow! guest commentors.
Frank you are really big time now.
Frank is just a magnet for the stars. I mean, Bill Clinton once based his “I did not inhale” remark off of Frank himself!
I can’t stop laughing long enough to scrape Michael Moore off my shoes.
Why is it the Goofy-Goof people are always fat and/or ugly.
I believe there is a corelation. Seriously, honestly, rightously. – No offense to anyone fat and/or ugly. Seriously.
Just an observer of the human condition.
But really, how in the heck did some of thee jokers Ever get elected. Maybe there is something to voting for good looking people and forget the rest.
Just think… if Kerry won the election and did the State of the Union address last night, instead of the emotional hug between an Iraqi voter and mother of a KIA… there would have been two homo’s huggin because they could be recognized as legal butt pirates…. EWWW!!!!!
Not entirely on topic, but anybody catch this?
http://reuters.myway.com/article/20050203/2005-02-03T200920Z_01_N03377963_RTRIDST_0_NEWS-IRAQ-MARINES-GENERAL-DC.html
Interesting article. Glad to see there will be no disciplinary action. Whatever is said to prepare, amp up, lessen fear, lighten the moment or otherwise set the stage for a coming battle should be off limits to scrutiny.
I do not know what the best “locker room” speech is when it comes to preparing your soldiers for a fight. I trust that the good General does. Whatever mind set he needs to implant that will increase each soldier’s chances of coming home alive, is the mid set he should give them. Even if it seems callous or insensitive to an outsider.
Speaking of N. P., Frank, did you get my “Seperated at Birth” e-mail?
Didn’t:
How about “now trolling”?
Howdy Republicans. I ran into this site through a Kevin Drum thread. Just wanted to say cheers to Frank J who is a repub who is right up my ally. This site is 99% hilarious. The “In My World” bits are top notch and you will officially be the first red site I’ll visit daily. I do understand why you rip on the left so much. The stereotypes are true of most of…dare I say “us”? I do just want you to know that I am a practicing Christian who is also a member of the NRA believe it or not. The things that make me a demo are Dubya’s policy on stem cell research which I’m sure you all have good arguments for but have to admit that there are many good arguments against as well. Also, I believe in the womans right to choose. My beliefs here come personal experiences although I do believe abortion to be wrong in many circumstances. Anyway, kudos to Frank J and I will be back for more.
welcome Demo John. Your views as you describe are right in line with my own. This is a great site and you will enjoy!
How can you love God and believe humans are made in His image and yet believe it’s okay to slaughter the most innocent of humans??
I was cracking up at all the comments
until the last two. Bummer.
Does Nancy Pelosi have the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson?
I say same plastic surgeon, and her stylist must be fishnet girl from last night’s American Idol.
OMG it’s a moderate Dem, run for your LIVES it’s a TRAP
Demo John- W’s policy on stem cell research?
Like, my tax money can only be used in a restricted manner for embryonic stem cell research, but can be used without those restrictions on all other kinds? What’s the big deal? There’s no private money available because this line of research appears to hold little promise. Read up on it. Personally, I’d like to see Federal matching funds if any, because private funding is a good measure of whether something is viable. Federal funding is a good measure of how good certain lobbyists are.
I’m pro-choice because I don’t think I can decide such a decision for another person better than they can decide it for themselves, but I strongly oppose the Democrat platform that wants to force people who believe abortion is murder to pay for abortions with their tax money. Forcing someone to pay for something they believe is so wrong is horrific.
Personally, I’d like to see the Federal government get out of the marriage business altogether, too, not pass amendments.
But frankly, I think it’s easier to work on Republicans to stop their social agenda (mostly hot air, anyway — what has really changed?) than to work on the Democrats to abandon their entire philosophy and worldview, which, if you really look at it, is an authoritarian mix of Marxism, protectionism, and paternalism, that pretends to support freedom by advocating a few token but pretty trivial causes like legal gay marriage.
Welcome, John, we need more demos… ‘specially if they’ll buy t-shirts.
Seriously, though, I’ll try to keep up the funny… ‘cept maybe tomorrow which is my day off.
area man… cmon now
This is extremely off-topic, but Frank, when are you going to post the results of the caption contest?
Frank, I think you and i should make a deal. Link to me and i will post your EXCLUSIVE IMAO UPDATES and give you credit for your findings.
http://www.cheeseandbacon.net
do it now!
Yo Frank… all your google ads are about Howard Dean 2008 right now… Is this an Evil Monkey Plot to take over your blog? I think it might be a good idea to do something about it.
demo john – welcome aboard. Most liberals lose their sense of humor real quick around here. If you can maintain yours then we can have some fun and maybe learn something from each other. That’s a choice I can live with.
Speaking of a woman’s right to choose, what about drug abuse, prostitution and burglary? Why aren’t they legal everywhere?
Guinness is a good choice. Especially on the weekend. See you in 3 days Frank.
Demo John — welcome. Frank is the best. I almost dropped my Glock 19 (cleaning while I read your post)… a Dem member of the NRA. Boo rah.
Just vote your gun rights at the polls, okay?
Thank you all for the kind welcome and even the unkind ones. To jonag, you are right about the moral principals against abortion but take a realistic look at the world we are living in. Even in this amazing country we have been blessed with there are many children having children. I feel there are too many uneducated youth making bad desisions in the first place, but to force them to be parents most likely destroying the childs life and thier own is, to me, much worse than the other option. I respect your beliefs but please understand I have my own. As for stem cell research, I have diabetes and through embryonic stem cell research I believe a cure could be right around the corner. As for the funding, Barry, you couldn’t be more right. Why should healthy folks have to pay taxes for the research to cure a disease they don’t have. Private funding is the only alternative which, unfortunately, there is not enough of to make any decent advancements. Last but not least, comparing prostitution, drug abuse, and burglary to anything I have supported doesn’t make alot of sense to me. Actually, I see the point your making there and the only argument I can come up with is that under no circumstance could there be a valid excuse for those things. Rape wouldn’t be a good excuse to become a whore, addict, or thief but if you became pregnant from a crime I think there is good reason to not give birth. Maybe I’m wrong but like Barry said, how can I make someone elses decision better than they can. One thing I must say about you republican bloggers and commenters is that you actually have some intelligence unlike many of the democratic morons I have to converse with on a regular level. And your right about Ted Kennedys liver and John Kerry’s botox and orange paint job. I have been laughing my, what does your woman call it, pinkytoe off. Also, if I ever come across any nuclear weapons, maybe we can forget sides for one day Frank like GI Joe and Cobra Comander and join teams to fight a common enemy…the moon.
Demo John,
Don’t mind the hot heads…you got to ignore them here just like anywhere else. Some folks are just incapable of understanding that one can be opposed to a certain behavior AND be opposed to the government getting involved in that behavior. They just have to tell themsleves that believing that abortion is simply not the type of issue that the government should be involved in is the same as having a burning desire to go out and club babies with a grin on your face.
I respect your guts to come here, introduce yourself and spell out your beliefs right off the bat. And know that the VAST majority of the time the banter here is humorouos and does not even gravitate to “hot” issues.
It is all about the fun, man!
I would actually consider a compromise on the abortion issue. Let women have their abortions, but if they wish to do so, they have to have their uterus removed. The male who impregnated her will need to have his penis and testes removed. Both of them will be shaved bald and be required to undergo surgical scarring by means of a blowtorch on their face and hands. That way we can make them happy by giving them their abortion, but prevent them from ever finding themselves in that situation again.
John – I was just listing some choices, and don’t expect me to be 100% serious. Short version of my view on abortion – it is relied on excessively as a method of birth control, it should be reserved for saving the mother’s life in rare situations. Children having children results from another issue for another day.
If you can laugh with us we’ll have fun. Have a good weekend. And gun control requires two hands.
I would agree with Jack’s compromise…as long as the EXACT same thing was also done to anyone that was so irrational, psychotic and leaning towards tendencies of torture as to think up that whacky crap.
demo john, I really don’t mind that you consider yourself pro-choice. What disturbs me is that you consider yourself a Christian who is pro-hoice. You mentioned too many children having children and yet your supposed savior was born of an unmarried child. I don’t get it.
My main point there was unresponsible birth. Anyway, if I agreed with everything my religion teaches what kind of personality would I have? One must have thier own opinion on certain matters. I said I am a practicing Christian/Catholic not a freakin preist. I need a beer…TGIF!
lol!
demo john,
Had that beer yet? Good. Feel better? Great. Now let’s talk…… I am the product of an “unresponsible birth” and I’m damn happy to be here! And I think the 40 million aborted people would say the same thing if they could.
That’s all (I think!). Have a good weekend. Now I think I’ll go have me a beer too. 🙂
Ok, I’m sorry if I have insulted you in anyway. You have stumped me here. You have crushed me like a bug with that comment and all I can say is…If I could, I would buy you that beer right now. Cheers.
I prefer Widmer Hefeweizen thank you!
now that is something I have never heard of. If it is beer I will look out for it. If it is a porn director…uh, I’ll look out for it too I guess.
Uuummmmmm, Hefeweizen……….