The mainstream media is pretty convinced we bloggers are an unruly, vicious sort. Why, as spacemonkey pointed out, even Ted Rall is questioning whether we’re informed enough to have opinions of our own. And, when a piss-poor cartoonist is questioning your qualification to have opinions on political matters, you know you’re in trouble.
I think it’s time for all us bloggers to prove whether we really are qualified to have opinions. That’s why I made…
THE “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” BLOGGER QUIZ
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
4. Do you even read newspapers?
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I’ll have my answers up soon, and I encourage the rest of the IMAO bloggers to post their answers. As for other bloggers, since my trackbacks aren’t working, e-mail me a link to the answers on your blog with the subject “Who the Hell Do I Think I Am.”
first!
D*MN YOU, FRENCHIE!
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
No. But when I do, I’ll know what to do!
Goodness me, that has to be among the finer retorts-for-a-post kind of entries I’ve yet seen on the site (and you know there’ve been some good ones). So eloquantly stated, so artfully crafted … so damn to the point.
Way to go Meester J.
No one, I’m sorry I said anything, can I go now?
I write computer programs and am surrounded by Indians (the kind from India)
I read it, does that count?
What is this “paper”?
I enjoy the Money Honey Maria Bartiromo, and CNN’s Robin Meade, who was stolen from us in Chicago 2 years ago.
What is this “radio”?
What is this “fax”? Why are you bandying about these old tech terms? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
All my correespondance and typing is done on my Treo650. So… please rephrase your questions to be about that.
Because the ACLU will complain if we bitch-slap them.
No passport. I see other countries on tv, like England, Australia, Ireland, and New Zealand. You mean those?
I went to Little America (Canada) once when I was a kid visiting my relatives who live in the UP. They told me Canada was a penal colony for cowards who won’t fight, which is why they speak a different language up there.
I am too fat from all the bratwurst and beer. Plus, I prefer to send the poor and black people to do my fighting for me.
Yes my girlfriend likes to .. oh face? I thought you said “feces”.
See last question.
Pluto’s Dad, daddy to Pluto (Esp on Valentines day) This is pluto: http://www.geocities.com/chrisb76/Pluto_Pics.html
I have experience in journalism. I married a journalist.
It isn’t the length of the needles but the frequency I have to get my booster shots updated that’s killing me.
I’ve been to Detroit, does that count?
Had my share of shots fired at me while working in back yards there for three months. That was enough for me.
Done and done…
Mitsurugi’s Answers
Who the hell are you to ask??
I help make the software your sorry-ass blog runs on. Piss me off, see what happens.
I had sex with an anchorwoman once. Does that count?
Maybe. What’s it to you?
No.
Yeah, and used to be a moron talk radio talker
Fax? What the hell is that? I get IMs
No reason.
I have a passport that I only show reluctantly because it has some naughty country stamps on it.
See Answer 9
‘Cause I already served, mofo, defending your sorry butt from the Commies!
Many times, after taking hallucinagens.
See Answer 12.
I already told you. FOAD!
you do your thing, Frank … you do your thing ….
dumbass…
idiot..
fascist…
dumb hick…
Damn, for a minute there I thought I was reading an Oliver Willis post.
XD
Kick ass!!
Frank J.
A work of genius!
But I would add another Q arising out of Rathergate, along with a suggested answer:
Q. Who are you lowly bloggers to question our facts? We, the MSM, are the experts. By Definition. By having been anointed as such.
A. A fact is a fact & a non fact is still a non fact regardless of who presents it. By all means, slay the fact-presenting blogger messenger if that makes you fulfilled, but how ’bout them pesky facts?
TomCom
You may want to turn in to the CNN symposium on the topic: Bloggers: Threat or Menace?
BLOGGER QUIZ
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Just an average, hard working, American citizen trying to raise a family and do my duty for God and country.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Active duty U.S. military.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Yes, many years writing news stories for various media outlets in addition to experience as radio/television broadcaster.
4. Do you even read newspapers?
Yes, my local paper and the NYT, WP, and USA Today…but blogs are getting much better at telling the whole story.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Yes, I watch Fox and all the other cable news stations plus some of the alphabet big three (but no more C.BS for me after Rathergate)
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Moron? No! But I’ll admit to being a talk radio listener–how else to get “the rest of the story”?
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Never. But what the heck, maybe they’ve tried to send one, but I don’t have a fax machine.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Bloggers for the most part don’t want to silence or fire anyone (without just cause), we just want the truth from media. We call into account those who make outrageous statements so “we the people” can make up our own minds on the issues.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
What would you like to know, just ask…yes, I’m that knowledgeable!
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Lived in Italy for 5 years, visited numerous european and middle eastern countries.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
Guess you didn’t read my answer to Q#2.
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
“I will always do my duty no matter what the price. I’ve counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice.”
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Once on an aircraft carrier had to wipe my a with my hand since the john had no t.p.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Wow, attention to detail surely isn’t your strong point. Please ask again later.
Answers
An American.
No, the VRWC pays me in 17th century Spanish gold dubloons to grab on to MSM backside like a vicious Rottweiler and not let go until The Lord returns.
No, but a guy I met in a bar once told me something and I then told somebody else about it. Does that count?
Hell no! That kind of brainwashing is soooo 20th century
Other than C-Span, no.
Does NPR count? Then guilty as charged.
The GOP beams my orders from their satelite directly into the chip they implanted in my brain. Fax is soooo 20th century.
See answer to #7, above
Other countries? You mean like Afghanistan? As for passports, we don’t need them: we get flown around in black helicopters. Look up!
I was in Berkeley once, does that count?
I did try to sign up, but I was too eager and they were worried I would shoot “journalists” and stuff, so they said no. Apparently the army only wants very serious, motivated and trained professionals these days. Oh well.
I once reached into the LA Times to pull out the sports section. Does that count as “goo”?
See above.
Batman!
Well let’s see….
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
I am johnm I am, I am. Who the hell are you?
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
No actually I work in IT for a major telco. I am in that 5% of earners who are holding up the other 95% of the social security system. So get up off your ass and get a second job, you Columbia J school graduate you.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
No and obviously neither does Dan Rather or Mary Mapes. Neither one could discern forgeries of the printed word. Seems like I qualify based on their expose’.
But I also hold an AS in Chemistry, a BS in Chemistry, Electrical Enginering and Computer Science, a MBA in Business and a Doctorate in Business. I think that covers the waterfront.
So whatya you got snooty?
4. Do you even read newspapers?
Yes of the online kind. It’s kinder on the environment and faster.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Well actually I don’t have much time to watch Fox either. See the answer to 2 above.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
Actually yes. But then I don’t listen to NPR so I think we are even.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
See 4 above. Fax is so passe’. If you are not doing IM at least you are a nobody. If you have to ask what IM is, then you don’t have the brains to use it.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Actually yes. But selectively, only the stupid ones. I can’t help it if they happen to originate from the DNC and DailyKOS.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Actually I do own a passport. Been to Germany, France, England, Russia, Poland, Bahamas, Bermuda, Gernada, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, BVI, USVI, Mexico. Have you made it out of East LA yet?
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
See 9.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
Becuase I was too young for Vietnam and too old for Desert Storm. What’s your excuse?
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
No goo but I have put three friends in the ground. They served. They paid the ulitmate price.
You J school enlistee on the other hand, trot out of the Green zone once an afternoon under cover of Marine M60’s. You go back to your hotel and sip bottled spring water and canapes’ and do a video around 1am. Must be a shitty job.
On the other hand the kid with the M60 goes back to a bivwac, heats up a MRE and cleans the gun(s). Sleeps in a fox hole and hopes a mortar doesn’t get lobbed into camp tonight.
Whose the patriot?
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Is there an echo? See 12.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
See 1. By the way, since you seem to be repeating yourself you might want to seek psychological help. By the way you might also want to check the BLS on what J school graduates earn. It’s less than a second year high school teacher.
Have a nice life!
Thanks for asking the questions, Frank. I think they reflect the MSM (and the left of Blogania’s) attitudes.
A reactionary right wing blogger’s answers:
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Jesus Christ, Superstar.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I give free blowjobs to dogs and hobos on streetcorners, which is three steps up from being a journalist.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
No, unless you count f*ing for money. That’s pretty close, ain’t it?
4. Do you even read newspapers?
I urinate on them. I’d rather not pollute my mind, or my floor.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Yes, I watch CBS news agit-prop, CNN news tripe, and I believe everything written on the score crawl on the scoreboard at the ballpark. I also read palms, tea leaves, and chickedove guts.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
No, I listen to the radio where they don’t use words. They call it “static” where I’m from, f***o. Go blow Al Franken or something.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Polly wanna sh on you, bozo. Polly wanna sh** on you.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
We don’t want to silence them. We want to hear their screams as they burn at the stake.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I had a Passport but I traded it in on a MONSTER, MONSTER, MONSTERRRRRR TRUCK
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
I went to France what but they fled in terror in advance of my arrival. The only thing they left behind were a bad smell, and some soiled underpants. Though the soiled underpants may have been a surrender flag, now that I think about it. I’ve always heard that they don’t wear underpants in France, but maybe that’s just a dumb talk radio song.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
I’ve been a couple times. How bout you, chickenchicken?
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
No, I haven’t. I’ve tried to counsel disconsolate refugees who had their tongues ripped out though. And I did once pick up a friend’s leg. Well, the legbone, and his foot, which was still in the boot. Well made boots, them combat boots. But no, I never have reached into a pile of goo that was my best friend’s face, so you really got me there.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Only a huge pile of liberal shit. Only it may have been a sociology grad student, I’m not sure. Ah hell, same diff.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Not a liberal, phony-pacifist anti-American shitbird weaself***er. And that’s enough.
Blogs are destructive. I read so many of them that I don’t have time to read the NYT or WaPo.
Random Birkel‘s answer here.
-See my FAQ
-Tech Support
-I like to read.
-When I take a crap at work, I sometimes do.
-I don’t even watch FOX.
-Busted.
-Master Rove prefers that we not discuss that. I want a cracker.
-Because we are running dog lackeys of the Zionist War Machine.
-I have one, yes.
-Yes. A couple, not counting Mexico.
-Old, married, and out of shape. If I were in my early twenties, I’d probably be in MARPAT already. I almost went that route instead of SU. Instead, I heap praise upon my young friends who now wear cammies and risk death on my behalf.
-Busted. I did deliver pizza in a bad part of town, vaguely Mogadishu-like on Fridays.
-Busted. But I don’t want to talk about it.
-See my FAQ
Just a dumb ol’ helicopter mechanic with an engineering degree.
I did that when I was in high school.
Hmmm. Does being published in three different magazines, an encyclopedia, and professional journals count?
Is there anything of value in them any more?
Seldom watch any television “news”.
Only the one I appear on.
They can reach me via email if they want to make contact.
Disagreement is healthy. Lies are not.
Actually, I have three. One for certain countries, one for others who don’t like those countries, and a personal one.
Four of the seven continents, some countries you probably couldn’t find on a globe.
Had mine. Several.
No, but I’ve carried a few body bags that felt like they were filled with nothing but goo. Have you?
More than once.
Did I mention my masters degree in International Relations?
Kathy
I posted mine on my own blog
Whoever I thinketh I am so shall I be. Dumbass.
I called you a dumbass first, moron, and no… I don’t work in a fast food restaurant. I work at a very exclusive
establshment that only serves French pastry and green teas… imported green teas. I consider myself an emissary
of the educated, delivering refreshments to the small prolatariat,err, little people.
What? Experience in journalism? YOu are asking me if I have experience in Journalism? Is that really your question? Well, I am
insulted.
Only the New York Times and some cool European newspapers that I would tell you about, but you obviously wouldn’t recognize the names cause
like I said, they’re cool.
I only watch the BBC… They are so much more educated in Europe.
PBS, BBC, Garrison Kieller and the such, yes. Hoping for a Bill Moyers show soon so I can be informed of the TRUTH.
I think not.
Look, I am on the left here. It isn’t a matter of firing or silencing… it is cleansing. If you want to believe that rightwing
crap, then you should be kille…., un. cleansed of such unpure thought.
I love the freedom of the French people most. The way they are so free to stink really bad, and those hairy arm pits show that
their enlightenment is so much beyond our ‘red state’ hick creeps. They should be shot. The red staters that is, not the, err, hairy French chicks.
Have I ever been to another country? No, cause Bush wont let me leave. The Patriot act has taken all of our rights away and I fear not having the right papers when I cross into Missouri…
As soon as the military abandons its violent ways and realizes that we can achieve so much more by working with the terrorists to gain their trust. Help them find themselves.
If we lose a couple of cities, its ok. As long as they are red state cities…
Gross. I think I will have a cup of delicious imported green tea.
Well, yes, but I had accidentally swallowed that key and needed it back.
I am lost… totally lost.
Here’s my list of answers.
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
An American who cares about truth, unlike most journalists and the entire left wing.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I’m not a lawyer, doctor or professor, like many rightwing bloggers ARE, but I’m a broadcaster and former station owner.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
As much as Jayson Blair did when he got hired. No, more.
4. Do you even read newspapers?
only 3 a day, although I have to grit my teeth to get through the Houston Chronicle.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
Other news programs are hard to take. I watched CNN International for 3 1/2 years during my European deployment, and that should last me a lifetime.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
No, but I appear on talk shows every day. I am usually working too hard to actually listen to them.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
I’ve received only one piece of paper from the GOP in my life, a fund raising appeal which I ignored.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
I prefer that lefties keep talking. It’s easier for people to get to know you, and that’s a good thing.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
My passport has a Russian visa sticker in it, along with multiple entries from every Euro country, including Greece. I speak French. I’ve lived in several foreign countries.
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
see above.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
I’m 44 and fat. But I do donate to lots of causes which help the boys.
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
No, but I had some friends in the WTC.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Only when I read Daily Kos and Atrios.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Ask me that to my face. I’m not too old and fat to give you the appropriate answer.
You can read my responses to the questions at Thoughts of A Medic
I have a degree in journalism from UNC-Chapel Hill and have been in the field since 1990.
Not only am I a blogger, I’m a journalist as well. Now I can hate myself.
Frank, have you been watching “Patton” in your underwear again and yelling “Spank me!” during the slap scene?
here is mine, read it for I am a attention whore
http://kabasue.com/blog/index.php?p=165
– I’m Big D, the Pennsylvanian in Exile
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
– I’m a commercial underwriter, cancelling insurance policies for fun
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
– yep, sportswriter for my college newspaper
4. Do you even read newspapers?
– online versions of several papers from around the country and world, including the Telegraph and J-Post
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
– hell no
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
– yep, especially Boortz
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
– nope, Karl Rove sends it to me telepathically, like Dr Xavier
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
– I don’t like silencers, they don’t work on my 12 gauge
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
– Going to Peru in August!
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
– been to Canada, and going to Peru later this year
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
– too old, guess I have to kill infidels on my own
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
– Saving Private Ryan was pretty cool.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
– let’s leave your mother out of this
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I’m the man of the hour, the tower of power, too sweet to be sour!
4.newspapers are irrelevant, dated and whores for advertisers.
Award-winning author on strategy, self-made multi-millionaire, award-winning entrepreneur, and a blogger.
Own a publishing company, write a lot of books, do a lot of corporate training, but I am financially independent so I do it all for fun.
Written for a number of magazines, spent a few years as editor of a technical mag, and appear on a few hundred radio shows every year offering strategic insights, other than that, no…
When I can’t get to the Internet, usually when I am out of town at a hotel that doesn’t support wireless, the dumbasses…
I kind of have to, they keep inviting me as a guest and kind of expect me to know who they are.
I do a lot of NPR, does that count?
Sound fun, how to I get on the list?
Actually, that never occurred to me. I don’t even agree with myself half the time.
Tey keep translating my books into all these funny languages so I have a big map with pins in it. My own form of world conquest…
They keep flying me all around the world to speak to people from World Bank and such organization, so I kind of have to. The food can be pretty good at time. At other times, not so much.
Too old and before that, too physically pathetic. Came from a military family (both Dad and MOM) so it was kind of embarassing.
Know the horrors of war from many family stories, but realize that war is the only cure for tyranny and that tyranny kills many more people than war. My best friend died of cancer. It wasn’t his face that turned to goo but his liver.
That is getting a little too personal.
Husband, father, and someone who cares about people, or tries to, at least some of the time.
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Why, is this what you’d rather discuss instead of the issue at hand?
Whoever made this quiz is an absolutely HYPOCRITICAL & LIBERAL EXTREMIST that is mentally deranged. He needs to see a psychiatrist real quick before he goes out & murders someone. His questions show he has no class, intelligence or education. He’d be the first one to defend the free speach rights of his left wing media propaganda machine. Then he’s also be the first one to take away the rights of anyone he disagrees with.
I know who I am, who are you?
I clean out stables, pitching manure, like journalists get news.
Do journalists have experience like being human? I’m a human.
Yes, I read toilet paper like the NYT and Washington Post.
Fox News, you mean the news from those hunts Britain outlawed?
Duh, yep, I listen to the radio, get my news from Grand Ole Oprey.
I didn’t know Repubicans are parrots! Better than being a Demorat buzzards I guess.
Cuz, they is wrong to tell lies about others, even lying journalists.
I’ve been to Hawaii, England, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, Italy, Switzerland, France, Monaco, Libia, Lichstenstein, Austria, and Luxomburg. I forget if I had a passport, oh yeah, to get into Mexico.
Where is Another Country? I can’t find it on the map.
I’m too old, last of the Civil War vets.
Now why would I touch my best friend’s face regardless of how ugly he is?
Yeah, the food served at Demorat dinners.
I don’t think, man, I KNOW who I am. Long live bloggers!
I answered one version of this on DUMMOCRATS, but here’s one just for you. (And I’m sure you’ll read ALL OF THESE, and be fascinated by each one of us).
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Just some dork who pops in to check out your girlfriend’s rack. Wow. You lucked out.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I EAT fast food….but, more about your chick. Zoinks. Nice bazzooms.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
Yo, don’t change the subject. In a lot of those pics, the shirt seems a little big–not very flattering for her amazing cans. Who do I write to so I can get this fixed?
4. Do you even read newspapers?
And the neckline is so high on all the shirts…
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
….have you thought of making baby-doll tees? Or tank tops? Tank tops are sexy!
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
No, wait, listen: If she models tank tops, you could use her to model the shirts….then make a calendar and sell THAT…which would lead to appearances at auto shows!! Everybody wins!!
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Yeah, and you could fax the pictures out like those junk faxers do; it’s illegal, but everybody does it, so you’ll be OK. A liberal told me so.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
You could have some audio of her over the pix, I guess…different poses, though. She needs to lean over in one of those baby-doll tees. Needs to show cleavage. Cleavage is sexy.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Acutally, if she leaned over something firm, so her cleavage looks all tight… you could probably use a globe. That’d be a funny little double-entendre.
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Yeah, I AM running out of ideas, but that doesn’t make me dumb. Just tired.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
That reminds me of a cartoon. Can’t remember which one.
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
OH, I KNOW!! How about shorts?? Hot pants? How’s her butt??
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
There definitely needs to be more pictures on the site. There’s waayyyy too much writing. So many words! Nobody reads anymore.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
Oh, no need to thank me! Just doing my part.
My Answers
Who are you?
– I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam!
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
– PhD in Computer Engineering concentration in electron valance matix storage
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
– Publish or die is the Academic Way
4. Do you even read newspapers?
– The Washington Post. It has five pages of real good comics – 3 pages of strips and 2 pages of Editorials
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
– Don’t watch, I read their Internet Web Sites
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
– I like listening to Glenn Beck’s “More On Football” but other than NPR, I don’t know of any moron talk radio shows.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
– Gee, I haven’t seen a FAX machine in years. IM and E-Mail is much preferred.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
– I believe Boortz is correct – use the Margaret Sanger approach to curb political dissent. Arguing with room tempereature IQs does get rather pedantic.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
– Actually, a passport is the property of the United States Government.
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
– Several. Berkeley, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York City, Miami to name a few. I’ve even been overseas.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
– Want to see my Purple Hearts? How about the scars that earned me those medals?
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
– Actually, no. Although I think having a shipmate with 3rd degree burns covering 60% of his body die in my arms would qualify.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
– Other than my children’s and grandchildren’s diapers? No. In your case I’ll make an exception.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
– I am a man who knows who and what he is and his place in the Cosmos. Now it’s your turn, who do you think YOU are?
You’ll find my answers here
http://me-ander.blogspot.com/2005/02/bloggers.html
An American – and someone you don’t f– with if you value all your body parts.
No – I’m a rocket scientist. But I’ve worked as a ditch digger, dish washer, waiter, busboy, nuclear reactor designer, truck driver, Mafia enforcer, bouncer, draftsman, auto mechanic, painter, plumber, boilermaker, race car driver, and construction gofer – among other things. And I’m not ashamed of any of them. Anyone who disses fast food workers is a dumbass.
40 years of technical writing – which actually requires that the writer know something about what they’re writing about. No – no “journalism” experience. Momma taught me not to lie.
ALL of them – Can “you” read?
Don’t watch TV – I have a life to live and it doesn’t include talking heads that couldn’t recognize the truth if it bit them on the ass.
Yeah – IQ = 180+ and I drool when I walk. So if I’m a moron what does that make you?
Naah – that only happens to Democraps.
Some of us can actually think for ourselves. Too bad you’re not one of us.
Because we can? Naah – because the people we want to silence/fire are too bloody incompetent to hold the job they apparently bought with Green Stamps.
Which countries would you like to know about? In how many countries have you gotten the local version of the Texas two-step? Or poison ivy?
More than you could count if you took off your shoes and unzipped your fly.
I tried – have you? My kids have “been there and done that” – and now we’re waiting for the grandchildren to take over the job of keeping your useless dead ass safe from those who’d make you a slave – if they even let you live.
Been there, done that – let me know how you feel about war – and especially about the asshole who did it – AFTER you’ve been there. You’re operating out of “theory” – not fact.
More than you could count if you took off your shoes and unzipped your fly.
Someone you don’t want to meet in a dark alley. Or even debate in the light of day.
Thanks – this was fun.
A former journalist laid off because I a) had a pulse, b) was a better writer than my arrogant editor c) was pretty outspoken about being a better writer than my editor d) wouldn’t go out with my editor e)found my editor’s habit of crawling up the colons of anyone at a bigger publication to be an embarassment for what was supposed to be an alternative newspaper d)found my co-workers to be clique-ish sheep more interested in averting the editor’s wrath than actually covering news.
I answered the quiz on a blog post of mine, though not nearly as clever as some here have.
My Quiz Results
Well, sometimes I think I’m a sassy French Maid, sometimes I think I’m Conan the Destroyer, and sometimes I think I’m just a money printing machine for my family.
No, but I’ve eaten a lot of fastfood.
Well, I took a creative writing class in college. Does that count?
I read the paper every morning while I take a “Ted Rall”.
I haven’t heard of Fox News Propoganda, but I do watch Fox News. Direct TV must not offer that station in their basic package.
Wouldn’t it be funny if the only talk radio I listened to was Air America? Duh? Of course I don’t listen to those panty waste left wing sissies. How NPR, does that count for something?
No, that’s what I watch Fox News for.
Because the law states that we’re not allowed to kill you. I’m still hoping for some changes, however.
Isn’t that really two questions. First, I am not ignorant of other countries. I know of Canada and Mexico. Two, you don’t need a passport to get there.
I’ve gotten loaded in TJ and stumbled back across the border to the promised land.
I will answer that the same way I answered that in 90 during the first round of pansy anti-war protests. I did sign up, hippy.
Well, Fox News has some good war specials, so I’m pretty sure I’m aware. It consists of the glorious soldiers of Uncle Sam’s army obliterating the arab hord in the Middle East. As for my best friend’s goo, no, I have not. Have you, hippy?
None of your business, but I’d love for you to reach into my goo.
Well, I’m back to being Conan the Destroyer.
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
A real American.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Actually, I do. There isn’t much else for a sophomore in college.
Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I’m majoring in it. And I’m an editor for a conservative campus newspaper.
Do you even read newspapers?
Everything but the NY Times.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool? Sometimes I turn on CNN to see what the communists have to say.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
No. I’m too dumb to attach the antenna to the receiver.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
Actually, I’m their spy. The journalism major is an undercover tactic so I can make sure the professors are not espousing their commie bullshit from the front of the classroom. So far, it hasn’t worked. See Ward Churchill.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Because if we didn’t, the world would be swimming in bullshit.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I live in the People’s Democratic Republic of Boulder. It is another country.
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick? See above.
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk? My back was replaced with titanium 3 years ago. I am not allowed to join the US Forces.
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face? I shot my friend with a paintball gun once. He said it hurt.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo? D you remember the Nickelodeon product Gak(TM) from awhile back?
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?! More accurate than CBS and less biased them CNN. I like to think of myself to the right of FOX News.
You need to add words like “bigot”, “racist”, or “hater” to the end of a few of those sentences, in order to make it a more believable left-wing critique:
Example: “Do you even read newspapers, bigot?”
Someone inform their MSM-lordships that the blogger-peasants are angry…oh, and they’re massed in the courtyard armed with pitchforks and torches.
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
One of the Real Killers.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
Anyone whose first job didn’t involve food service and/or minimum wage, please raise your hand.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I’ve had to wade through the sloppy, poor-researched, and slanted effluence of what passes for current-day journalism most of my adult (and quite a bit of my adolescent and teen) life.
4. Do you even read newspapers?
Unfortunately, San Francisco is a one-newspaper town. You can imagine the juvenile quality of Letters-to-the-Editor. Sacramento Bee is quite a good little paper, but I have to pay out-of-town prices for it.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
I get a balanced diet of CNN propaganda, BBC propaganda, and MSNBC propaganda; with BAM!Fox PropagandaBAM! to kick it up a notch.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
I must confess, I sneak the dial over to 960″The Quake” for a little Rhandi Rhodes and Janeane Garofalo, just to get a little dirty.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
No, I get them hand-delivered. I rate!
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
I wouldn’t be a good, little Nazi if I didn’t want to visualize my boot on your throat, now, would I?
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
Actually, one doesn’t “own” a passport. That remains property of the US government, which can demand its return at any time.
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
Care to count the visa stamps on the passport you think I “own”?
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
Hey, if you want to leave most aspects of governance up to the folks in uniform, veterans, and their families, fine by me.
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
No, but I remember spending Christmas in Cambodia, simultaneously running guns to the Khmer Rouge and being shot at by them.
It’s seared…SEARED into my memory!
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
As a dog owner…er, companion…and the father of a ten-month old, yes…more times than I care to remember.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
One of your cust…er, EX customers. Please cancel my subscription!
–furious
Frank, I took your test. I think I should have studied harder:
Paratrooper’s Blog
Blogreaders answers
1. I’m an unhyphenated American, who the hell are you?
2. Systems analyst for a Fortune 100 Firm, Contracted out to the DOD
3. No, Do you?
4. Local, national, and international.
5. NBC ABC CNN C-SPAN and FOX
6. Morning edition, All things (liberal) Considered, Hanity, Rush, Quinn in the morning.
7. RSS Feeds into my palmpilot.
8. I fight for your freedom to spew your nonsense. I despise censorship, especially politically correct censorship.
9. I’ve had an active passport since 1983
10. The only continent where I have not eaten, slept, shat, and fornicated is Antartica, though not for lack of trying. 27 contries not counting islands in the Carribean.
11. Served 12.5 Active Army Coldwar and Desert Storm. Now supporting in a Civilian capacity.
12. no, but does holding his intestines in count? I effectively and accurately returned fire after rendering first aid. Friend survived, shooter didn’t.
13. Yes, In peacetime, I also had the duty of inventorying their effects and washing the small bits of them from their flight suits after the crash recovery. What have YOU done?
14. An American!
1. Who the hell do you think you are?
Well, according to President Bush, I am a second-class citizen. According to Pope John Paul, I am one of those evil doers who are trying to destroy the world. According to the majority of America’s TV viewing public, I have what it takes to have a top-rated sitcom or reality makeover show.
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?
I am a Web content editor. So, I actually GET PAID to post stuff online. Unlike blogging, I can only post content that the lawyers and head honchos approve.
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?
I won a nice little silver pen with an engraved marble stand as a journalism award when I was in college. I was in charge of writing the events calendar for the school newspaper. While this isn’t actually hard-hitting investigative reporting, I had to practically drag the information out of those damn chess club geeks every week!
4. Do you even read newspapers?
I only read newspapers with RSS syndication. If I can’t aggregate ’em, I don’t read ’em. If you don’t know what in the hell I’m talking about, you probably still read newspapers.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?
No. I enjoy screaming at Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly through my TV screen. The only time I take a break is when American Idol is on and I can scream at Simon Cowell instead.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh?
I don’t listen to RADIO! That is so 20th Century! I only listen to MP3s — iPod, therefore I am.
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?
I’ll have you know that my faxes come straight from HOWARD DEAN. That’s right, I’m a @#$% Democrat parrot — YEEEAHHHHGH!
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?
Actually, I only want to silence and fire everyone who calls me a fascist. If they disagree with me, I just pinch their nipples until they cry.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?
I had a roommate from New Zealand once. I believe that is another country — he had a funny accent anyway. Did you know that New Zealanders eat a stinky paste made out of rotten brewers yeast? They also get mad if you confuse New Zealand with Australia. “It is a totally different country, mate!”
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?
I’ve lived in Los Angeles. That counts as SEVERAL foreign countries — Mexico, Korea, China, Alabama…
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk?
Ah…in my world, the term “chickenhawk” would only apply to guys like Michael Jackson. I don’t go there.
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face?
Again, in my world, the image of “goo” on my best friend’s face conjures up something totally unrelated to war. I’m thinking of that whole “Army of Lovers” thing.
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?
Again with the goo? Look, there’s this stuff you can buy at your local adult novelty store…
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!
I’m smart enough. I’m good enough. And, darn it, people PING me!
I am Timmmaaaayyyy! Or TJ. A 30yr old, half-alcoholic, college drop-out … although I gave up alcohol for lent, and am making plans to return to college. I have a beautiful wife & amazing 7m old daughter, and two German Shepherds. I drive a jacked-up Jeep Wrangler, which (sadly) spends all of tis time on pavement. I am a United Methodist (Christian), and very Conservative.
Network Design & Support, Information Security.
Proud to say, NO.
Rarely, sometimes I read their sites though!
Not often, although I don’t get to watch FOXNEWS very often … those of us who have jobs can’t watch lots of TV …
Nope, I drive into work at 5am – not much talk radio going on then … so I listen to CDs – currently George Thoroughgood. In the past I have spent lots of time listening to Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson (my favorite band / artist) as well.
Faxes are for old people! And red lights are for cops! (sorry, inside joke)
I want people to speak their mind, but I want them to be well informed when they do so.
No, and No.
Yes, as long as they don’t (didn’t) require a passport (e.g. – Canada, Jamaica).
I am too old, and I can serve the country better in other ways. If it came down to it I would not hesitate to volunteer.
Yes, but not from personal experience … and no. Oh, does CounterStrike or REDvsBLUE count??
Yes, but not by choice. And does picking up after my German Shepherd Dogs counts …
I am someone who was sickened by what I was seeing in the mainstream media during the last ~1.5 years of Bush’s first term, and part of the process of becoming more informed included posting what I find … mostly for my future reference (that was the original purpose of my blogging effort – organizing information / resources), but made available for all to share. And indexed by search engines, to boot!
/TJ
NIF
My answers are up here. The article is “I’m Just a Blogging Nobody”.
Who the Hell Do I Think I Am
Damn, my comments seem lame compared to you guys. But if anyone’s curious, here they are.
I’m a conservative stuck in Western Massachusetts.
Get this. I design plastic packaging. Is there anything more capitalistic and anti-environment then that?
I’m tempted to say yes, but I don’t want Lawrence O’Donnell to call me a liar.
No, I can never get the fold right.
I don’t watch Fox or any other TV news, mostly because I like to know about important world events, not the latest on Brad and Jennifer or the “controversy” of the Bush National Guard memo.
I live in Western Mass, and used to listen to Hannity. He was replaced by hot young comedian Al Franken. At first I was bummed, but I soon became entranced by his smooth-as-silk delivery and down-home common sense.
Don’t call me names. But you’re right, Republicans all sound the same. I need to get under the big tent of the Democratic party, where all sides of an issue are welcome.
I’m not a fascist, I’m an insurgent. And I didn’t fire Eason Jordan, CNN did. I don’t watch CNN, so I benefitted not one bit (other than schadenfreude).
No, I’m not completely ignorant and know I don’t own a Passport. I buy American. Ford F-150, baby.
I’ve been to Canada and Mexico, two countries with people in them that like the US. Funny, those people can’t seem to get facetime on SeeBS though.
I’m 38, but assuming I were 35 or less, I’d be more of a Clandestine Services kind of guy. Funneling Stingers to the mujahideen, etc.
I do understand the horrors of war. I watched Saving Private Ryan. But no, my best friend’s face never turned to goo. Unless you count the time we experimented with LSD in college.
Well, there was the time I dropped my jimmy hat in the clam chowder…
When my grandfather used to tell me how his was the last good generation, I scoffed. I still do. Now I think mine is the last good generation. Put some clothes on, kids, stop slicing yourselves with sharp metal, and get some exercise!
THE “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” BLOGGER QUIZ (Assuming this is a serious question, and not just satirical…)
Answers by: Nekultura
1. Who the hell do you think you are? — A vanishing breed, one who believes in free minds, free press, free markets — for everybody, everywhere, all the time. (TANSTAAFL, anyone?)
2. So, other than blogging, what’s your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass? How about Doctor of Science degree in Engineering? Started my own companies? Worked in the White House Science Office? An engineer, manager, designer, environmentalist? Want some more?
3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot? Like, how about, like, several hundred published articles, stories, poems, plays, like?
4. Do you even read newspapers? Can’t do without my Get Fuzzy and Mallard Fillmore and Rose Is Rose.
5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool? There is no other news, you poorly-educated fool.
6. I bet you’re some moron talk radio listener too, huh? Me, and about 50 million others, eh?
7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot? No — we don’t do like the Dimocrats — the GOP receives OUR faxes and emails. We tell THEM.
8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist? Do your own thing, socialist –just don’t expect us to visit you, listen to you, or tolerate you — or especially, subsidize you, or NPR, PBS, or Ward Churchill. Most of us produce services or products that somebody wants to pay for — most are not tenured traitors or UN parasites.
9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport? The Web sees all. Bein’ there, doin’ it. (Does a passport mean you actually travel? Hmmm.)
10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick? How about Belgium, UK, Mexico, Canada, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Macau, PRC? (Betcha my People’s Republic of China entry visa fold-out is longer than yours.)
11. If you’re so keen on the war, why haven’t you signed up, chickenhawk? I designed weapons of war while my younger brother served in Viet Nam and afterwards. He was OK with it; you got a problem with that?
12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face? My father and many uncles fought in WWII and made goo out of quite a few Germans and Japanese, much to the betterment of the world. (I think Ward Churchill’s face looks like a pile of goo. Does that count?)
13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo? Fathered four children. If you know what they are, and didn’t abort all yours, then ’nuff said.
14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?! Somebody who is obviously more humorous, better educated, more widely published, more widely traveled, more experienced, more patriotic, more appreciative of Western civilization, much happier, more loved, more loving and probably richer, than you — and most leftists. Probably a lot healthier too, as well as furnishing much more to the improvement of the gene pool, the collective knowledge and wisdom of the human race, — oh yeah, and also to the US Treasury, than you. Have I left anything out?
(Feel better now?)
My answers are here.
A HTML response.
Yes, my job is served on sizzlers.
no, this is the closest.
why you want the whole world to read newspapers? developing nations are yet to afford Toilet Papers.
how else would i’ve been here?
and your point is?
actually, its the KGB.
I like to do it as an academic exercise.
Are you in aggreement with Free Trade?
No, not on an official assignment.
Nobody is.
A soldier should not let his/her sentiments intervene with his/her understanding of the difference between judgement and arbitration. Your friend must not be misquoted.
my shoes can be more specific, not sure if they can talk.
you didn’t get it first time. did you?
BitsBlog has the answers