Ok you know by now Frank J. is writing at least one book, maybe more. And you know how books are sometimes made into movies. Like that Harry Potter series, those books about Hobbitses and the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. Shoot, even the occasional videogame gets made into a movie or cartoon. Final Fantasy, Doom, Resident Evil.
CARTOONS even get made into movies, Scoobydoo, PokeMon, anyone?. But I digress.
To my knowledge no blog has ever been made into a movie. BUT! If IMAO (a blog, nay, THE (capital B) Blog) were made into a hit motion picture, not Frank J’s book which will undoubtedly be devoid of his co-bloggers, who would you cast as whom? And why?
For those who are memory challenged or for religious reasons don’t read sidebars, the lineup is as follows.
- Frank J.
- Harvey
- RightWingDuck
- Cadet Happy
- spacemonkey
- Scott
- Laurence Simon
- SarahK
- Aquaman
Frank J. – somebody who is gay
Harvey – somebody who is gay
RightWingDuck – somebody who is gay
Cadet Happy – somebody who is gay
spacemonkey – somebody who is gay
Scott – somebody who is gay
Laurence Simon – somebody who is gay
SarahK – somebody who is really hot, and can shoot
Aquaman – somebody who is really, really gay
Og,
I guess you could play Aquaman.
Ok So Og can be Aquaman, anybody else?
Eerie.
I nominate Vince Vaughn for FrankJ and someone needs to be represented by Bruce Willis. They’re the only two conservatives that I know of in Hollywood, though.
Which one of you is bald? That’s the one that Willis should play.
Frank J – Wil Wheaton
Harvey – Michael Gross
RightWingDuck – Carlos Mencia
Cadet Happy – Oliver Platt
spacemonkey – Robert Sean Leonard
Scott – Owen Wilson
Laurence Simon – Jack Black
SarahK – Sarah Chalke
Aquaman – Tom Cruise
Doh! You stole my idea! I was going to turn IMAO into a movie!
monkey,
Great minds…
Anyhoo, I remember from an interview on the Daily Show that Jerri Ryan is into guns (and is blond). Maybe she could play SarahK.
Of course, I don’t think anyone could do Frank J. and SarahK better than the originals.
Frank J. — that guy from Third Rock From The Sun that talks like him, provided he gets a few acting lessons from Bruce Campbell first to beef up the voice a bit. Or reverse the two.
Harvey — James Lileks (yes, another blogger — I think he did TV once — good voice for the fun facts bit, if The Diner & Bleatcast are any indication)
RightWingDuck — It’s hard to think of a Mexican comedian/actor with that sort of instantly likable voice. Play yourself. (note: there is no with in that last sentence).
Cadet Happy — Who???
Spacemonkey — Whiny, southern, hmmm… Profuse apologies, Spacemonkey — Bill Clinton. I mean, can’t you just picture him saying “This be the end of Spacemonkey”?
Scott — Probably someone from Spinal Tap. Pick one, Scott.
Laurence Simon — Jerry Seinfeld (because Gilbert Godfried is just too cruel)
SarahK — Drew Barrymore, sober. And yes, I like Drew Barrymore. Although maybe with similar acting lessons (See Frank) from Tonya Harding. Yes, I like Tonya Harding. I’m weird that way.
Aquaman — Jar Jar Binks, with the ears removed. Hopefully painfully.
Frank J. – Arnold Schwarzenager circa Red Sonja
Harvey – Harvey Birdman, atty. at law
RightWingDuck – the guy who played Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride
Cadet Happy – no clue
spacemonkey – Curious George? haha. Johnny Knoxville, maybe.
Scott – Bruce Willis
Laurence Simon – Godzilla
SarahK – no women in Hollywood are worthy; have her play herself
Aquaman – Woody Allen
Frank J.: Wm F Buckley
Harvey: Rush Limbaugh (he needs a hobby)
RightWingDuck: Mallard Filmore
Cadet Happy: Michael Savage
spacemonkey: ALF
Scott: the guy from MST3k
Laurence Simon: Dennis Praeger
SarahK (and evil twin): Ann Coulter
Aquaman: Al Franken
Frank J. – The guy from Dodgeball who wanted to be a cheerleader.
Harvey – That guy who does Prarie Home Companion
Cadet Happy – Dunno
Spacemonkey – Bubbles
Scott – Dunno
Laurence Simon – Jon Stewart
SarahK – Reese Witherspoon after 14 weeks in Marine basic training
Aquaman – Sean Penn
Whoops, forgot RWD
RWD – Darkwing Duck
Frank J. – Mr. T.
Harvey – Harvey Firestein
RightWingDuck – The Aflak Duck
Cadet Happy – Emmanuel Lewis (the guy needs work)
spacemonkey – Kong
Scott – Gotta go with Scott Baio, the guy has bills to pay.
Laurence Simon – Mel Brooks in Rabbi Garb (Simon’s the Jooo right?)
SarahK – Jessica Alba
Aquaman – One of the Fab 5 preferably the gayest one.
Bette Midler?
where’s my gun?
Could Rick Moranis play a role somewhere? I miss the little fella! Mel Brooks might make a good Laurence Simon, as well, now that I think about it.
I think that gun-fearing nancy-boy they cast as the new James Bond should be Aquaman. With his pants wet all the time anyway, you’d never know when he soiled them himself.
I like lamars idea..except carlos mencia (who I watch religously btw)
Frank J.- Ernest Borgnine
Harvey- Kurt Russel
RightWingDuck- Daffy Duck
Cadet Happy- John Rhys Davies but playing the part as Gimli from Lord of the Rings
spacemonkey- an animatronic marmoset
Scott- Christopher Lee
Laurence Simon- Ron Silver
SarahK- Angelina Jolie
Aquaman- Ben Affleck or a pine board since they’re pretty much the same thing.
Alright, let’s see;
RWD: Carlos Mencia. Yeah, he’s been said already, so consider this another vote for him.
Harvey: Clint Eastwood. Or Tommy Lee Jones.
Spacemonkey: Is Slim Pickens still alive? Maybe Kevin Bacon. He can do a pretty good southern accent.
Cadet Happy: Mike Myers. Don’t ask.
SarahK: I can’t think of anyone good for her, so I’m going to take the easy way out and say she should play herself.
Laurence Simon: Trey Parker or Matt Stone (Which one is Jewish again?)
Scott: ME! I’m great as the guy in the background that no one ever notices.
Aquaman: Jim Carrey.
FrankJ: Well, I was going to say Henry Fonda (for his superb performance as Frank from Once Upon A Time In The West), but he’s dead (Just try to forget about who is daughter is. It’s hard, but it can be done). So my pic is Michael Keaton.
You know, after thinking about it, I agree again with Jace and vote for Michael Gross being someone. If only for how well he did Burt Gummer in Tremors. That scene where the monster breaks into his basement, and he and his wife don’t run around screaming like most people and just start shooting the crap out of that thing…that was beautiful man.
Oh, and I forgot my signature.
Gunlord
“If Howard Dean can win ANY kind of election, then anything is possible if we try.” ~Me
Frank J. – Aquaman
Harvey – Frank J.
RightWingDuck – Harvey
Cadet Happy – Right Wing Duck
spacemonkey – Cadet HAppy
Scott – spacemonkey
Laurence Simon – Scott
SarahK – Laurence Simon
Aquaman – SarahK
For all of you who chose Scott Baio, I think you should reconsider for DEAN CAIN, he needs the money MORE and he’s HHHHHHHOTTER.
TEEEEEEJ
Og is really SarahK, right? /TJ
They should all be played by Peter Sellers except that he is dead. Oh well no movie then.
But if you had to make a movie anyway.
Frank J – Joel from MST 3000
Harvey – OJ Simpson
RWD – Erik Estrada
CH – a mime
Spacemonkey – Billy Bob Thorton from Sling Blade
Scott – Bronson Pinchot
Laurence Simon – Cousin Larry
SarahK – Dame Judy Dench
Aquaman – as himself
Who was it who played Tully Bascomb and The Countess in The Mouse that Roared? He did a good job as both male and female … maybe we could have everyone played by one person. Is Christopher Lee available for a musical number?
Not about the chracters, but this question popped into my head that maybe you can help me with:
If they made a movie about liberal bloggers and it involved the massive conservative government conspiracy (because isn’t it always a government conspiracy with those guys), would Kos spend the entire movie complaining that it is the federal government’s job to protect them from any threats, rather than protect themselves?
In the interest of realisim, SarahK should be played by Cadet Happy.
Or is that the other way around?
I’m new here, so I’m just talkin outta my ass…
Frank J – Peter Boyle
Harvey – Walter Mathaw (sp?)
RWD – Jack Lemmon
CH – Abe Vigoda
Spacemonkey – Alan Hale
Scott – Joe Don Baker
Laurence Simon – Art Garfunkle
SarahK – Jessica Alba (need a reason to watch)
Aquaman – Englebert Humperdink
^^ That was mine… forgot to put my info on it