We Must Beato Alito!

Well, the left are already squirming in reaction to the nomination of Alito. Read this letter I got from MoveOn.org:

Samuel Alito (or Scalito as we like to call him since he’s just like Scalia who eats babies) will ensure we lose all the rights we cherish. If he gets into the Supreme Court, soon YOU WILL BE FORCED TO HAVE BABIES! IF YOU ARE A WOMAN, YOU WILL HAVE TO HAVE BABIES! Not only that, but he will have protestors FORECULLY BATHED! This goes against our First Admendment since our smell helps us get attention for our protests. But Scalito will not stop there; he will TAKE AWAY YOUR RIGHT TO NOT HAVE A MACHINE GUN! You will have to have a machine gun even if you don’t want one, and you’ll have to care for it and clean it which can take an hour. Not only will Scalito make all this happen and take away your rights, but HE IS ALSO ITALIAN… JUST LIKE HITLER!
Please help MoveOn.org oppose Scalito with a generous donation. Being shrill costs more and more these days and we can only exist with your help and the help of Hungarian billionaires.

14 Comments

  1. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you the bad news dude, but you hit this one so straight that it lost it’s zing. Cross the line into their alternative reality and the humor just fades away.

  2. Ah, I just love the idea of “Scalito.” Being a law student, I’m constantly reading Scalia’s opinions, and he is a marvelous writer, and very witty. Even when he doesn’t go the way I’d want him to go on a certain case, he does a wonderful job of justifying why he decided as he did. Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, and Alito … niiiiiiiiiice ring to it, dontcha think?

  3. Moveon.orgy is the laughingstock of the entire internet. Alito should be nominated. But soon we’re gonna hear shrieking from the NOW hags about how Alito is just soooo “unfair”, i.e., that he’s a traditionalist with regard to the Constitution. We all know that the courts are the last true stronghold that the libs have, and they know that if we weaken the grip that activist judges like Ruth Badger Ginsburg have on the courts, it’s all over for the libs. The Democrats know what plays here in flyover country: traditional family values. Unlike most of the libs in the Democratic Party, Hillary gets it, and that’s why she’s giving herself a political makeover. She’s going to portray herself as a “moderate”. Hello!! Bill Clinton did the same thing -and fooled the voters twice. Moderate my left nut! Shrillary wants to fool us all again so she can become “The First Woman President” (Isn’t it liberals who always tell us labels don’t matter?). And if, God Forbid, she becomes the next President, she will nominate the most hard core leftists for the Supreme Court you can imagine. She will screw around with the First and Second Amendments as though she were Queen of Royal America. She will make absolutely certain that NONE will oppose her nominations for the high court. And she will screw our freedom if we let her.

  4. Gads, where do I start?
    Scalito is like Scalia who eats babies? could that be even less funny? No wonder they laugh at Franken;)
    I assume this writer is a woman, so lets put this as nicely as we can, “umm you can’t have babies if you A. Are a Lesbian, unless you are willing to take artificial semination from any of the members of Crosby, Stills, and/or Nash.
    B. If you look like you sound, in which case you will need a profuse amount of beer consumed by a blind and deaf man recently released from a state penitentiary..

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