Archive of entries posted on 10th November 2005

Mohammed the Cartoon?

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Apparently, there’s some kind of taboo or law in Islam that forbids depicting Mohammed the Prophet. So, the cultural editor of Denmark’s largest newspaper decided to put it to the test as a greater test of tolerance within the barely-assimilated Islamic immigrant community of his home country…

“This issue goes back to Salman Rushdie. It’s about freedom of speech and Islam,” says an unrepentant [Flemming] Rose, who feels a culture of fear and self-censorship has taken hold across Europe since Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh was murdered for criticizing traditional Islam’s treatment of women.
As accusations of racism and discrimination fly amid the ongoing unrest in France, European countries are being pushed to pinpoint the causes of – and solution to – the social exclusion of their significant Muslim populations. A key ingredient to the dialogue, Rose says, is making room for a frank discussion of the compatibility of democratic principles such as free speech, and traditional Islam.
“Some Muslims are asking for an apology pointing to a lack of respect,” he says. “They’re not asking for respect; they’re asking for subordination – for us as non-Muslims to follow Muslim taboos in the public domain.”
Although Rose expected some complaints, he was unprepared for the deluge of criticism.
Among those who attacked the newspaper’s lack of sensitivity was prominent Copenhagen imam Raed Hlayhel, saying “I will not tolerate this. If this is democracy, we disagree with democracy.”

An imam disagreeing with freedom of speech and a free press and Western European democratic values? Well, isn’t that a shocker. Color me Pantone 186 Surprised.
But getting back to Flemming Rose… what kind of idiot depicts Mohammed in cartoons just to rile them up? I mean, if you want to test them, why not print the paper with pig’s blood or print an edition on thinly-sliced ham?
The nerve of some people.

In My World: The French Are Revolting

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“Sacre Bleu!” screamed a Frenchman, “The… uh… ‘youths’ are rioting.”
“Death to the infidels!” shouted a “youth.”
“Where are our leaders?” asked another Frenchman.
“Jacques Chirac is under his le desk peeing his le pants!” answered the first.

“Being President is fun,” Bush mused to himself, “but I wonder if I can get a better office.”
The phone then rang.
“Hello, this is the most powerful man in the world,” Bush answered, “Me; Dubya!”
“It’s I, Jacques Chirac!” cried a panicked Chirac.
“What do you want, Jacques-strap?” Bush asked with annoyance.
“The streets are on fire because of rioting… uh… ‘youths.'”
“Yep, those kids and their rap music can be trouble.”
“Uh, no, not that kind of youths, I mean, the uh… ‘youths’ who are very invested in their religion.”
Bush furrowed his brow in confusion. “You mean a Bible camp has gotten out of control?”
“Uh… different religion. More with… uh… veils… and calling people infidels.”
“Oh, you got wacky Muslims running about.”
“Youths!” Chirac quickly corrected Bush.
“Whatever. So what do you want me to do about it? I’m not popular with Muslims… still, the never riot here.”
“I need your help to stop them before they destroy all that is French! It is your duty!”
“Hey, if we Americans always bail out you French, you’ll never learn to take care of yourselves. Why doesn’t your people shoot the rioters, Jacques-strap?”
“We don’t have guns!”
“Well, that’s short sighted of ya.”
“Please! Help us! They’re burning my car as we speak!”
Bush thought for a moment. “Fine. But you have to hold a press conference and admit you’re a girl.”
“Again?”
“Yes.”

“French President Jacques Chirac is about to make a public address about the rioting Mus… ‘youths,'” said the anchorman. Before a podium stood Chirac.
“It is important that I tell you all to remain calm and that…” Chirac stepped out from behind the podium revealing he was wearing a dress. He then pranced about saying, “I’m a dainty little girl!”

“I didn’t say anything about a dress or dancing,” Bush told Chirac over the phone.
“I wanted to commit to the part,” Chirac responded, “So, will you help us?”
“Sure. Here’s what you do. First, play to your strengths. Surrender to the ‘youths’ and let them run the government. Then form an insurgency to fight the ruling ‘youths.’ Then the media will hound the ‘youths’ about how they’re in a quagmire and must pull out.”
“I wanted you to send troops!”
“Well, that’s all you’re getting ’cause I don’t like you.” Bush then hung up the phone and looked around the room. “Maybe the reason I don’t like this office is because it’s kinda roundish.”

It’s an IFOC Christmas!

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Well, folks, some of y’all have seen the Christmas decorations go up in the malls and various public spaces that the ACLU hasn’t quite got to yet, so this can only mean one thing: Holiday Stress.
I find that the best way to deal with Holiday Stress, other than ranting a limo and taking up seven primo parking spaces in the mall parking lots, is to take a step back and mock the absurdity of it all at Christmas is Full Of Crap, the wretched descendant of Michele C.’s original Ho Ho Holy (stronger word than Crap that makes Sarah K do that “icky” face).
The resident Santa, flaws and all, will be glad to answer your wishes and questions, while the rest of the gang engages in their usual demented merriment.
Be careful, though. He’s drunk.


“Where’s my bourbon?”

Oh, and if you’d like to join in the confused, rancorous, bewildered authorship of the site, feel free to write me with the role you’d like to don for the season.
So don’t let this Holiday Season leave you with nothing but broken toys, shredded wrapping paper, and a credit rating damaged beyond all repair – make some holiday memories as well.

Proposition H – A fun look at gun control

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San Francisco recently passed Proposition H, which bans the ownership of guns in homes and businesses.
I for one am comforted by the fact that San Francisco has taken this safety measure. Now when some big dude meets you along a dark street, you’ll know that it’s not a gun in his pocket. The downside of course is that he’s really happy to see you.
This has gotten me to thinking about Proposition H. Sure, it’s currently being challenged by the National Rifle Association (Motto: Don’t make us shoot you), but it doesn’t mean that some GOOD things can’t come from all of this.
I’d like to offer some…
Observations on Proposition H.
Health Insurance costs may not go down, but at least working conditions will be much better — for criminals.
It is finally easier to identify the criminals. They’re the ones with the guns. The victims are the ones lying in the pool of blood.
More good news. Most shootings will now be intentional.
Proposition H pitted two big players. The “No” side was supported heavily by the NRA. The “Yes” side was heavily supported by the Trauma Centers.
Guns are banned to all private citizens, except police officers. Citizens are still allowed to carry Super Soakers.
Note: All Super Soakers must sport a bright orange tip.

Continue reading ‘Proposition H – A fun look at gun control’ »

I Want to Be the Card “Rules for Draw and Stud Poker”

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Aaron Kowalski (actually, I don’t know his last name, so I made one up) is making a blogger deck of cards. I think IMAO should be one of the Jokers. Also, I nominate the lovely and talented SarahK to be Queen of Diamonds since she’s so pretty and has diamonds I gave her which are shiny. If anyone else wants nominations, you can suck up to me now.
Clubs can be voted on now at Aaron’s site.