Archive of entries posted on 1st November 2005

Top Ten Rejected Senate Democrat Stunts

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With Fitzmas a bust and conservatives reenergized by the nomination of Alito, the Democrats needed to do something really futile and stupid to grab the attention of the American people and encourage their wacky base. Exclusive to IMAO, we have obtained a list of rejected political stunt ideas that happen to be ten in number:
TOP TEN REJECTED SENATE DEMOCRAT STUNTS
10. Hold their breath until they turn blue if not given their way on judicial nominations.
9. Have Harry Reid wear a beard of bees during an entire meeting of the Senate.
8. Do a fully costumed production of The Sound of Music on the Capitol steps.
7. Hold a fundraiser where Ted Kennedy competes against a live pig in a hotdog eating contest.
6. Daring daylight liquor store robberies.
5. Jump a shark on water-skis.
4. Set Buddhist monks on fire in protest of Iraq war.
3. All Senate Democrat episode of Fear Factor.
2. Have Chuck Schumer train and then compete to win the Ultimate Fighting Championship.
And the number one rejected Senate Democrat stunt…

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Stephen Hawking: In Concert

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Stephen Hawking has booked several shows at theaters on the West Coast. Wow, I didn’t even know the guy was on tour! Is the opening act a drum clinic held by the drummer for Def Leppard?
Tickets for the Seattle show range from $35 all the way up to $125… to watch a guy sit on stage and lecture me using his Speak N’ Spell? No thanks, dude. It’s too hard to understand your lyrics… even though I never understand any of Rob Zombie’s lyrics, at least I get to see some laser lights and explosions.
If Hawking’s show has laser lights and explosions, then I might pony up the 35 bucks.

They Now Do Nothing Behind Closed Doors

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The Democrats have called for a closed door session on Iraq, the first time such a thing has happened in 25 years. Apparently it’s some sort of stunt or something and Frist is pissed as this came out of nowhere.
Well, I have to give it to those wacky Democrats, this is weird and unexpected as compared to their usual of predictable and annoying. So what do you think the plan is here and is Rove somehow behind it all?
UPDATE: The Dems are in a “full scale revolt.” This is goofy.
UPDATE2: “It’s like chewing someone out, but p***ing your pants while you’re doing it.”
I know there is a quote from Animal House that fits this…
UPDATE3: Duh. The timing obviously points to Michelle Malkin being behind this.
UPDATE4: That’s the quote I was thinking of. I guess K-Lo and I are on the same wavelength. I think it’s time to start officially calling this the “Animal House” strategy.

We Must Beato Alito!

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Well, the left are already squirming in reaction to the nomination of Alito. Read this letter I got from MoveOn.org:

Samuel Alito (or Scalito as we like to call him since he’s just like Scalia who eats babies) will ensure we lose all the rights we cherish. If he gets into the Supreme Court, soon YOU WILL BE FORCED TO HAVE BABIES! IF YOU ARE A WOMAN, YOU WILL HAVE TO HAVE BABIES! Not only that, but he will have protestors FORECULLY BATHED! This goes against our First Admendment since our smell helps us get attention for our protests. But Scalito will not stop there; he will TAKE AWAY YOUR RIGHT TO NOT HAVE A MACHINE GUN! You will have to have a machine gun even if you don’t want one, and you’ll have to care for it and clean it which can take an hour. Not only will Scalito make all this happen and take away your rights, but HE IS ALSO ITALIAN… JUST LIKE HITLER!
Please help MoveOn.org oppose Scalito with a generous donation. Being shrill costs more and more these days and we can only exist with your help and the help of Hungarian billionaires.