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  1. Shock-pundit Ann Coulter dismayed her right-wing fans today when she admitted to being a cross-dressing man in Thursday’s press conference. “This started as a joke, as satire, and I think that it has just gone to far.” he said to a startled press.
    Ann Coulter was born Fredrick Guebermann, of Des Moines, IA. Fredrick moved to San Fransisco on the 1980’s to start a career in drag shows. There, he worked under several stage names, including “Crystal Dawn” and “Rosie the Rocket”.
    “The point of drag shows is to take things over the top, to really push the boundaries of what we think about. Normally, this is done in a very physical way, with lots of glam and glitter. I wanted to see what would happen if I tried to look normal, but act over the top.” Ann said to the press.
    In 1993, Fredrick received breast implants and started taking hormones. He has not yet had a sex-change operation, and still uses the masculine pronoun.

  2. Displaying a true lack of creativity, Bran simply reversed the spelling of his name to Narb for his online identity.
    Def. Bran: fiber taken to keep the colon clean and encourage regularity. Something to be flushed.
    One of the great economic minds of all time, Friedman’s genius will be greatly missed.

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