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I haven’t been following this news story too much because it’s… well… boring, but apparently the White House has had trouble finding good attorneys or something.
I think I have a great suggestion.
They should hire five attorneys. They should all be powerful in their own right, but, in times of crisis, they combine together to form one super-attorney: Voltron! Defender of the Federal Government!
If I were a juror and I saw five attorneys form into one giant attorney just before the closing, I’m going to side with them. That’s just common sense.
How ’bout they launch a nation-wide search for honest, able, and competent lawyers (they are on the endangered list, but there are probably more of them then there are virgins of either sex over the age of 12).
They could make it a reality show and call it, “Shyster Search: Leaving no stone unturned, or rock undisturbed.” The five left after all of the negotiation, maneuvering, backstabbing and shameless vote influencing will be the winners. The public couldn’t complain because they helped chose the winner and reality TV would continue in it’s heady decline.
I know they would get my attention, when they started swinging a fourty foot sword around the courtroom.
Voltron serves at the pleasure of the president.
MIGHTY ORBOTS was better….they had a robot that could eat garbage and use the energy to fuel the whole system; the enviros would love ’em
And I serve at the pleasure of my pimp.
Sarc,
Tell us something we don’t know.
If this wasn’t a family site with censors, I would make a joke about “good head”.
Know why lawyers wear neck ties? Keeps the foreskin from sliding back up…
Know what happens when you give a lawyer Viagra? Get’s taller…
Giant robots make everything better. 🙂
I’d rather have a small, right wing Japanese Ronin attorney with the small beacon he can use to turn into Ultraman. Ultraman had that cool wind-up to fire a laser so powerfull, it could do away with giant monsters (therefore, probably enough power to damage the likes of Red Ted and Michael Mooreon). The only drawback was that red light on his chest that blinked whenever he began to weaken.
Oh, and Sarc, I don’t exactly hear you or the yellow journalists at the New Yourk Slimes or Left Angeles Crimes mentioning anything about the 90+ attorneys Commie Bill fired when he got into office, just becaue they were leftovers from the Reagan / Bush Sr. era. Better call yourself Hypocrital Man…but being a parrot for the party of the ass, it goes without saying.
The girl in Voltron was kinda hot, in an anime sorta way.
She’s no Amy Jo Johnson (aka the Pink Power Ranger), but cute for a cartoon.
Why do I still know this?
Finally, the hero we’ve been waiting for has arrived! He is the King of Attorneys: GaoGaiGar!
How about The Rose Law Firm? They seem pretty good at making things go away…
-YOU- may want to see 5 lawyers mounting each other in the courtroom, but unless they are 5 hot chicks with big boobs, I ain’t interested.
Yo:
Hey, know it is has been awhile. I’ve been pretty busy — eating organic food, replacing my light bulbs with the energy efficient kind, signing up for Green Energy, watching the Daily Show and converting my diesel VW van to run on vegetable oil. You know — everything us Monkey Faced Liberals love to do.
Moreover, I figured with the utter collapse of the Bush Administration over the past year, what was the point in rubbing salt into your wounds? I mean, even YOU must now realize you were wrong to think Bush was a good president, that the Iraqi War was a good idea, that Global Warming is a myth, etc, etc. Right?
Anyway, I was browsing over here to see if you had managed to become a better writer while I was gone (hmmm. I guess practice does not always make perfect, does it) and I noticed you found the U.S. Attorneys story boring. I assume this is because it does not involve guns or ninjas.
So I though I should direct your attention to this column by (slightly to right of Attlia the Hun but a darn good reporter even if John Stewart thinks he is a douc—-) Robert Novak, where he talks about how this scandal provides evidence that even the Republicans in Congress think the Bush administration is incompetent. I thought it might make the Attorneys story more interesting for you, despite its lack of violence.
http://www.suntimes.com/news/novak/312734,CST-EDT-novak26.article
Here is my favorite quote from the story “The I-word (incompetence) is used by Republicans in describing the Bush administration generally.”
Funny. That is the same word I would use to describe the IMAO administration generally.
Hope you enjoy the column!
Peace!
Monkey Faced Liberal