A number of readers have e-mailed me about NASA’s kinetic attack on the moon. I want to assure you I am involved. I’ve been working with the federal government to coordinate both the DoD and NASA to nuke the moon. We first started by having each do independent project — the DoD shooting a satellite in space and NASA with this project — and then they will work together for a tactical nuclear strike against the moon. President Bush really wants this done before he leaves office so his legacy will be “that guy who nuked the moon and was totally awesome.”
Frank, I am so proud of all of the time I’ve spent reading IMAO. This is truly a great development. Thank you for sharing. Can you now update us on your plans with the CIA and the Association of Leprechauns to beat up Michael Moore?
Excellent! Will this then be followed by the nuking of one of our national parks and the tax on all nations that are not us? If so, President Bush will go down in history as the greatest POTUS of all time, EVER! The best that ever was or ever will be…period! Obama can suck it if Bush goes ahead with your plan, Frank! Possibly, you are on the short list for McCain’s VP? Just remember your friends here at IMAO when it comes time to dole out those cushy high dollar big government jobs. I’m thinkin’ that I’d make an excellent Secretary of No Buggering Allowed…
It’s funny, but everywhere I’ve seen this story someone has given you credit.
You should be proud FrankJ, you’ve given us the puppy blender and nuking the Moon. Just about anybody who knows anything about blogs knows about those two things.
Sniff, and I was there to see the whole thing.
Now that you’re finally getting this project done, may I ask if you’re going to Nuke the Moon in any particular pattern? Like – are you going to make a picture of SarahK or are you going to write, “America Rules!” or are you simply going to just make a bunch of small moons in the place the one big moon used to be?
Yes, “Nuke the Moon” was the first piece of Frank J. literature I read as an innocent college freshman in Dolan Hall at Illinois Wesleyan University. It was a life-changing event, as I realized there were others like me, a community bound together by the mutual hatred of all things liberal. I have since grown intellectually stronger as a result of Frank’s (and Harvey, Space Monkey, Right Wing Duck, and Cadet Happy… and Sarah K, of course) tutelage, and I will forever remain in your debt. Once the moon is good and nuked, others will follow… and we shall restore peace to the galaxy.
ok, sorry, I was listening to John Williams… I had to throw in a Star Wars reference…
And The New York Times has pitched in, passing along some useful targeting info. The NYT, who knew?
Bush ain’t gonna get it done, Frank. He has very poor nucular advisors with bad strategery. Why else would NASA throw 4400 pounds of dead weight at the moon’s south pole when they could be administering 20 pounds of Plutonium? They’re whimps.
Once we’ve nuked the moon, what’s next. You can’t sit on your laurels Frank (that would hurt). It’s time to pick your next target. May I suggest one closer to home. Somewhere no one would really miss, like Berkeley.
No sentient beings live there anyway; )
(It’s all fun and games until somebody gets nuked)
#8
After someone gets nuked, it’s all champange and zombies. And shooting the zombies with shotguns. O
f course, no one would know the difference between the post-nuking zombies of the future at Berkely and the Marines-protesting doped out zombies of Berkely today.
Well, Nixon did a lot of good things, but is only known for one bad thing. Maybe Bush could do the reverse.
I am new to IMAO. I’ve only been reading for a few months. I must admit. I’ve often wondered about “nuking the moon”, not that I’ve had anything against the idea, I had really not seriously considered it. I just took the time to find Frank’s original post on why we should nuke the moon.
NOW I understand. All hail Frank J.!
The man is a genius, albeit somewhat abstract. A poly-sci guru of historical proportions.
Frank,
Please be fair about this, and insist that the Navy allow the USS Russell shot the moon.
But, please remember it would not be the first time a Navy crew shot the moon (or in other words ‘mooned’ a target.)