Obama has been saying McCain will be Bush’s third term, and McCain has responded by saying Obama will be Carter’s second term. I think that’s a good rebuttal, but maybe there could be more creative analogies for an Obama term.
AN OBAMA PRESIDENCY WILL BE
…another Batman movie by Joel Schumacher.
…the return of New Coke.
…a restaurant that serves nothing but Spam.
…a new album from William Shatner.
…another season of Wings.
…Windows Vista.
…System of a Down getting back together.
…yet another Special Edition of the original Star Wars films.
…circus peanuts.
…an action movie starring Sanjaya.
So, ronin, what do you think an Obama presidency will be?
Actually, that describes a McCain presidency. An Obama presidency will be a 4-year-long Star Wars Christmas Special II.
… Leonard Nimoy singing a live, acoustic version of “Bilbo Baggins”
ABBA reforms and tours to promote their new CD.
…like a toilet that won’t stop running.
…CSI Berkeley
… a little pebble in your shoe that you can’t shake out
…a shi-tzu with chronic flatulence
…that mole that is turning purple
…at best, ineffectual and doomed to medicority
…at worst, the awakening of the Twelfth Imam
…the moment I realize that the Montana Militia might be on to something.
Brokeback Mountain: The Opera. Oh wait…
…A land war in Asia.
Wait, we already have that. Then voluntarily losing said war.
An Obama presidency would be as slow and painful as ….
5. having your Mom stay at your house ’til the flood waters subside (this one is for my sister; Hoosiers will get the joke);
4. having to write a term paper expounding on An Inconvenient Truth;
3. watching an Al Gore film produced/directed by Michael Moore;
2. a date with Bill Clinton;
1. a date with Hilary!
*Health care resembling the movie “Saw”.
*Neville Chamberlain + Jimmy Carter + Steve Urkel.
*4 years of droning about “Obscene profits”. Which is also what we’ll get if we elect McCain. Yay!
What’ll it be?
Comedy gold.
Of course, FrankJ’s IMW series would die a quick death as it will be the death of irony and satire. How do you satirize today’s left when they do a much better job? Fiction at least has to be believable. (Go to 1950 and tell some random American that one candidate for president is running on a platform of purposely losing a war and raising taxes and he’s ahead in the polls and I bet you a dollar you get punched in the face).
Of course that will also destroy Scrappleface, (shakes fist), so there is an upside.
…a vegetarian steak dinner.
…a season of the X-Files without Mulder or Scully.
…a day-care center staffed by pedophiles.
…less competently run than the current Congress.
…the begin of Satan’s reign on Earth.
Jar Jar Binks.
An Obama presidency will be like…
A four year long trip to see Dr. Longfinger the proctologist
AN OBAMA PRESIDENCY WILL BE:
…calling a fax machine from your home phone.
…like a 4 inch long paper cut. On your face. Then pouring salt on it. And lemon juice. Then gasoline. Lighting the gasoline. Tabasco sauce next.
…a vacation to Chernobyl of Pittsburg
…watching a Keith Olbermann marathon.
…a great time to put your company logo on buckets.
…absolutely wonderful in a “Kill Whitey” sense.
The Carter years all over again.
Helen Thomas in a bikini.
an endless recording of Hillary’s voice
living downwind from a rendering plant
taking every sociology and women’s studies class in college
A sulphuric acid enema
A hot day with only a skunky beer for relief
Having to watch a four year long rant from Robert Byrd.
Or Harry Reid.
A sandpaper condom
Watching and endless loop of “West Wing”
Going to a French Circus you can never leave
New commercials for Free Credit Report.com & E-surance
Promoting Olbermann to the booth with John Madden
Oh man, forgot my favorite:
Hippie scented soap
the 2008 Edsel
a 28k modem
a production of Troilus and Cressida starring Steven Segal and Paris Hilton
Velveeta cheese
Oh, I’m in a dandy mood here.
Jimmy, you forgot to mention the Greenshirts patrolling your neighborhood to enforce environmentally correct behavior and attitudes.
#20 – Posted by: Raving Lunatic on June 10, 2008 01:09 PM
Oh, and banning motorsports to fight climate change.
I doubt there will be any of those where I live, Raving. But if there are, the Greenshirts are likely to turn red from 300 yards and assume a more pleasing horizontal ‘attitude.’
On the other hand, Seattle has “garbage police.” No $hit. They examine your garbage and see if you have too much “recyclable” stuff in it. Then they warn you. Then they stop picking up your garbage and issue a citation. Years ago when I lived there, I put a dead cat in mine.
Whoa! What do you have against Wings and System of a Down?
Maybe I’ll let you slide on Wings, but come on.
AN OBAMA PRESIDENCY WILL BE-
* Potentially tragic. He’ll get killed somewhere along the way, and the racial tension & riots of the past will seem like a thumb-war in comparison.
Sorry to be such a downer, but that’s all I can see with him in office. That, and the erosion of American pride from within, as he, his lovely wife, and his Godly pastor have already demonstrated numerous times…
Less exciting than the prospects of an Al Gore presidency!
As anticipated as a remake of Beaches starring the original stars of Beaches
As much fun as a vat of hot boiling asphalt to stick my head into
Less fun than listening to an angry lesbian screech about sexual liberation
Not as cool as Rosie, Ellen, Paris, Katie, Shep, Matthews, Russert, or Olberman
Less fun than a cotton swab up your wiener to see if your wiener was put somewhere your wiener shouldn’t have been
They’re a little tough on garbage around here too, but not as bad as when I lived on base (SJAFB). I circumvent the whole thing by throwing my garbage out at work. F’em.
(you started it ussjc with your cotton swab)
“lancing a boil” – I was thinking of someone else.
…brutal and short.
About as much fun as going in for a sigmoidoscopy, going to sleep, waking up with a sore butt and then you realize that it’s Barney Frank grinning at you from the Doctor’s chair…
UGH. I’m not in a good mood either Jimmy. My liberal college professor neighbor’s words are still ringing in my ear – “Let the best man win!” This after coming to my door recently to gloat and see if I had “changed my mind” about “getting on board” with Obama. If I wasn’t a lady, well…..
Obama Abortion Kiosks – that’s LOL right there.
Ah, Sulamie, you should have slammed the door on his damn nose or something accidental like that.
“Oh, did I do that. I’m sorrrrry. Oh too bad.”
I’d rather have the cotton swab than Barney Frank in my no fly zone.
Sulamie
Next time your neighbor comes over to “gloat”, here’s a suggestion. Bend him over, rip his head out of his ass, rip it off his shoulders and then stuff it back up his ass really hard! He will still have his head stuffed up his ass but you will have the satisfaction of being the one that placed it there personally! That sounds to me perfectly lady like!
Nah. They just have the abortion pill liquified and pumped into the water system so no one will ever be punished with babies again. Well, except the knuckle-dragging clinging rednecks who live off of a well. Ignorant bumpkins!
ussjimmycarter-
You seem to forget that the guy is a liberal, and therefore already has his head up his ass.
Actually my first instruction was to rip his head out of his ass… Regards…
Excellent thread; I’m laughing to keep from crying because it’s all true.
* $10 gas, 10% inflation, 10% unemployment, 10% interest rates. The end of Bush tax cuts; higher taxes. Food shortages.
And it’ll STILL be BOOOOOOOsh’s fault!!!1!!!
President Obama will be the promoter of the Ramones reunion tour. We will be the investers of the tour.
I fear that an Obama presidency will be the beginning of the end of days. Wake Up America!
have a nice day
Sulamie. Offer him a warm glass of unsweetened grape Kool-aid with just a drop of almond extract added and see if he drinks it.
The Obama Presidency will be like:
* Watching an endless loop of “The View”
* Waking up with a hangover and finding Rosie O’Donnal next to you in bed.
* Having a meaningful debate with the BOD of the ACLU.
* Having a neighbor that plays Rap “Music” (or that accordion music that illegals blair from their cars) at top volume 24/7.
* Being the sole conservative in a town full of hippies.
* Riding a city bus in Seattle, Portland or San Francisco.
* Being in the same small room with Michael Moore and Ted Kennedy an hour after both have raided a Mexican food buffet.
* Having to attend 12 more years of public school.
* Having to live in Berkley.
* Being skinned alive in a salt factory.
* Owning a radio with the dial stuck on “Radio Free America” and it won’t shut off or unplug from the socket.
Umm, I got nothin except System of a Down didn’t break up. They’re just doin side projects for a bit. They have enough songs written for 2 more albums.
That is all.
Dang #40, I was only terrified about November before; now I think I’ve soiled myself after watching that.
Hold me.
“Nowhere to run baybee…”
it will be like a large steaming pile of _____ (fill in the blank)
explosive diarrhea on a cross-country flight
A chance for America to begin fixing all the problems caused the stupidest man to ever be President?
Monkey Faced Liberal Turd.
One more:
Less painful than trying to read a chapter of “Hellraiser”?
Of course, what isn’t?
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
MLF- (Is that like MILF?) Your premises are invalid, therefore your conclusions are nonsense. It’s all a problem of mind over matter; I don’t mind, therefore you don’t matter.
Thank you for taking the time to go out of your way to pour lemon juice on our collective, metaphorical paper cut. That’s so adoreably petty of you. At least you’ve stopped killing our buzz when we’re in a cheerful mood.
Misery loves company, they say. Someone as persistantly miserable as yourself must be in great demand. Somewhere. By Someone. For some reason. Good luck with that. Don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on your way out!
May you find as much respect, honor, good fortune and love as you clearly deserve.
Sincerely,
I fear that an Obama presidency will be the beginning of the end of days. Wake Up America!
#40 – Posted by: compugor on June 10, 2008 08:10 PM
On the other hand, we could say it is a new beginning. Right after the first shot is fired to mark the beginning of the revolution that gives birth to a new saner America. Individualists and sovereign citizens rule the day in the America I envision.
$40/gallon gas after maxine ‘stalin’ waters gets to socialize the oil companies
#41 – Posted by: jake ace on June 10, 2008 08:33 PM
More likely, it will be $4/gallon, but you can only buy 1 gallon every other week.
#49-
Perhaps you meant most stupid; “Stupidest” isn’t actually a valid term, like “ain’t” and “irregardless”.
Good try though.
I love to use ain’t just to make haughty asses pucker! Now, irregardless, that is a double negative. Why say more than you have to?
Hey guys thanks for the advice w/regards to my neighbor. I will keep those suggestions in mind next time he shows up at my door wearing his Obama pin (especially the kool-aid one – always have plenty of that on hand w/kids!)
A funny…our 7 year old sons play together. Back when Hillary was still in, I overheard something that made me chuckle….my son, out of the blue, asked theirs who they are voting for. He said Obama, of course. Then he asked my son who we’re voting for. My son said, “Not Obama!” Their son said, “Ohhhh you’re voting for the lady!” and my son replied (in a most disgusted fashion), “No way! We’re Conservative!!!”
I kid you not.
He done made me proud!
Anybody see Hitchhikers Guide? I imagine it would be just like what happened to the earth. BOOOOOOM! After that the ultimate answer just doesn’t matter much.