Fox News got bored and asked a bunch of marketing weenies whether they thought that Gitmo could be “rebranded” so that liberals wouldn’t reflexively scream “TORTURE!” every time they heard it’s name.
Sadly, the best yonder marketing weenies could come up with for a new name was “Offshore Holding Facility”.
Let’s see if we can do better:
* Waves & Waterboards
* Tribunal Town
* Club Splodey
* Misfired Martyrs Motel
* Cuban Clown College
* Korandemonium!
* Interrogation Island
* Jihadi Jamaica
* Allaholics Anonymous
* Viva la Incarceracion!
Any other suggestions?
* Towels R Us
* Bed, Bath and Beyond Hope
* The Rag Barn
* Cuban Linen Recycling Center
* International Turban and Torture Emporium
* No Shirt, No Shoes, No Turbans, No Service
* Muslim Purgatory
Guano-turban-o
How about:
Terrorist Heaven–it doesn’t get any better than this!
Jihadist Paradise
Allah’s Forsaken City
Re-education Mecca
Islamwood
District of Jihadia
I know they’re not good but I’ve had a whole week of being invisible (at the job) so I’m a little under teh funny tonight.
Havana Hilton?
Truth or Consequences
Hitsville
Club Mohammed (and Omar and Achmed and…)
Is that like being under the weather, seanmahairmama?
* The Riverwaterboard walk
* Good
Inner
Times for
Muslims
Orginization
* A Place were Judaism isn’t practiced
* Your Natural Enviroment
* The 2nd Mecca
* We offer you the humblest of gods creatures; the CIA.
Club Fidel
The Twisted Rebirth Factory
The Truth Trench
The Fact Squad
The Abundant Abolishers
The Pork Protectors
The Dungeon of Dank and Dapper
The Bombie Brokers
The Virgin Heaven
The Hate Reprogammers
The Isolaters
The Alternate Universe
Shiek and Shake
Frollicking Weapondry
Finality Free for All’s
Lock and Loaders
Hell’s Waiting Room
FoxNews has been getting more and more pitiful each day since the beginning of the Obama campaign. Much like the Republican party, they seem to feel that they’ve got the right wing viewers hooked so they’ll go after the left-wing viewers too…by leaning left, of course. And so, pretty much every show each day asks ridiculous questions like, “Is there any hope at all for the Republican party in 2010 or 2012?” And, giving daily briefings on the unprecented popularity of president Obama, despite the fact that his numbers fall way behind Reagan and other presidents (even GW Bush) at this time of their presidencies.
The defining moment for the FoxNews freefall was the Bush/Paulson bailout. While the overwhelming majority of Americans were clogging the phone lines of representatives telling them to keep the government out of it, and certainly not to sign onto legislation bailing out these companies, all the while the continually-asked question on FoxNews wasn’t about the validity or content of the bailout but, instead, “What will it take to get this done?”
It’s a shame, it used to be a great network, yet now it’s the home of Bob “never heard of anything ever done by a democrat I didn’t support” Beckel, Geraldo “let’s hand the country over to my friends who happen to all be illegal immigrants” Rivera, Bill “I’m not a conservative, I just pretend to be one on TV” O’Reilly, and a huge cadre of 20-something pretty girls who know absolutely nothing about the world, letalone politics.
* Prostrate Palace
* Ben Dover’s Bar & Grill
* Three Squares And A Bucket
* George’s REM Deprivation Research Clinic
* Cheney’s Future Headquarters of The United Nations
* Preventing the wrath of Chuck Norris.
1. What can I say? I’ve got nothing.
2. I can’t even come close to topping “Allaholics Anonymous”.
Cincinnati Reds Spring Training Facility
The Robert C. Byrd Offshore Detention Facility
Instead of closing Gitmo, we should close Cuba. 12 million detainees without charges ever filed against them held for over 50 years, property seized, thousands killed and/or disappeared, military leadership that answers to no one and defies UN rules (especially Geneva convention) and certainly doesn’t feed their inmates a healthy and complete diet.
*72 Virgin Islands
Hamid’s House of Duds
Allah’s Catbox
Beacon of Bacon
Westin Waterboard
No Virgins 4U
Asshole Castle
No Jimmy, it’s more like it doesn’t matter what you do, how you do it, when, where or why. No one notices, no one sees, no one acknowledges……..but make a mistake and someone is right there to point it out…….loudly.
Whine, whine, whine. I know it’s life in the big city but raising my children was so much more fulfilling. At least they occasionally noticed what I did for them (more than occasionally, I have been blessed with loving, sweet children. Not perfect mind you, but really nice people on the whole).
Done whining. Sorry.
In honor of that great patriot and hero of the left we should name it Penn Station!
Club Obama
“*72 Virgin Islands” – chocolatier007
That’s right up there with “Allaholics Anonymous”.
* Al Qaeda’s First Home Depot Franchise
*
FantasyNightmare Island* That ‘How Did We Get That Patch of Land In Cuba?’ Place
(See, Marko, it’s all about trying, in spite of being ‘bad.’)
Sandals GITMO
p.s. son of bob, are we watching the same network?
Bro. Theyl’s Paradise Lost
Osama’s Inn / Cabana
Bin Lodging and Core L tours
* Camp “Where’s your bloodthirsty moon god now, ladies?”
Hamas’ Heroes
Staring BHO as Komadant Klink
Also Staring Nancy pelosi as Sargent Shucks, and JoJo Biden as a totally clueless clown
Im still liking “club gitmo” but since we have to get rid of gitmo” i propose :
“super fun time” its theme could be the “super fun time” song from southpark
El Usama : The Forbidden City of Bin Laden
Even Fidel doesn’t want them
Club Bad: Where only the best Muslims are allowed in.
Pelosi and Reid Heaven
The Eternal Unexploded Bomb
Camp Fred: He didn’t want to put them there but he feeling that day
A friend and I were talking about this… Our suggestion is:
Aleutian Island Resort.
Pick an uninhabited Aleutian island, the further north the better. Part of the name is ‘Island Resort’, so how bad can it be, right? ;>
“Camp Edward M. (Teddy) Kennedy”
to be known affectionatly as
‘South Chappaquidick.’
How about: Camp Better Than These A-Holes Deserve
Survivor: Guantanamo. In the interest of transparency, we could turn it into a game show, but nobody gets to leave the island. Each team of detainees can design the contest for the week. Watch as those wacky nuts waterboard each other.