There has been a lot of talk about global warming and climate change, but there are a lot of misconceptions as many people don’t understand the science involved.
First off, global warming is not caused by the sun. Heat can’t travel through a vacuum — that’s why thermoses are surrounded with a vacuum (in fact, an archeological dig in Egypt turned up a 3,000 year old thermos and the coffee inside was still hot). Instead, earth is warmed by the hot magma inside it. This of course leads to the question, “What happens if we anger the earth?” Well, it tries to cook us all to death through global warming. Thus we all need to work together to keep from angering the earth.
Next time you’re outside, hug the earth. Tell it you appreciate how it keeps you from floating off into space with its gravity. And try to refrain from jumping — it doesn’t like that. If we all work together, we can make the earth happy and save the climate.
Punching hippies makes the earth happy. Kicking liberals makes the earth happy.
Punching and kicking al gore makes the earth just giddy.
It also helps to look at a mountain every now and then and ask, “Have you lost some weight?”
Sonny Bono hugged the earth, and see where that got him.
What a crock of horse manure. This post is worse than the pseudo-science put out by Algore.
If we limit carbon dioxide, and all the plants starve and die, will that make the earth angry?
I have a Ph.D. in science, so I can backup what Frank is saying.
To be more technical, what happens is that about 80% of earth’s internal heat comes from the decay of radioactive compounds, and love acts as a neutron deflector, slowing down the reactions and cooling the earth from the inside.
The other 20% of earth’s internal heat is residual from when it was initially formed. This is why scientists are so worried about people believing in creationism. If the earth is only 6000 years old, this would mean much more residual heat than if it is 4 billion years old. It is much better for humanity to have an old earth instead.
Well, Frank’s not a scientist, but he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
“Heat can’t travel through a vacuum” – So that is why it is hotter in the day (when the sun is shining) than at night I guess. I guess that is why we have winter when the angle of the sun’s light is at a greater angle. Need to go pick that Astronomy book up again.
I’m an IMAO commenter, not a scientist!
Speaking of crappy Star Trek references, the Earth’s dead, Frank.
As a self proclaimed scientologist I claim by fiat:
Voting for barry sadomy hussein makes ther earth unhappy and causes volcanos to erupt.
Beating the snot out of any environazi makes the Earth happy. Voting for one makes the Earth angery. So go forth and hug the Earth then punch a hippie. Then run over said hippie with your SUV and make the Earth happy.
Hug a tree. Love keeps the leaves from quivering in fear so much, which, as we all know, creates wind. If enough trees were hugged, we wouldn’t have so many deadly hurricanes.
Do you know what really pisses off the Earth? When you don’t capitalize the word “Earth”!
As a God substitute for so many people, the Earth demands the same scriptaculotory respect given to the real God.
As a scientist, I too can vouch for what Frank and Dr. Mayhem have said.
We have evidence that the Earth has been getting warmer by approximately a degree per century for the last 400 years, precisely the time period when MAN and CAPITALISM has been most active. Clearly, then, MAN and CAPITALISM are to blame.
The problem is so bad that now the polar ice caps are melting at such a rapid rate that we can almost detect it, and even measure it. What we cannot do is reverse the trend. And with this disastrous rate of melting, the Earth has become cooler, leading to greater ice accumulation at the poles. This is why the Earth is cooler due to polar ice melting, but there is just as much ice as before. Our advanced computer models predict this, and instruments detect it.
We can no longer afford to sit idly by and do nothing. Therefore, we must permanently alter the relationship between MAN and CAPITALISM, before it is too late.
The Moon’s orbit around the Earth creates tidal forces that churn up the magma below. This internal friction keeps the magma from cooling, thus keeping the Earth from cooling. Obviously, this calls for Nuking the Moon. The magma will then go un-churned, resulting in rapid cooling. And cold un-churned magma is a lot harder for the Earth to spit at us through volcanoes. We can then plunder the Earth without fear of reprisal. We will no longer have to placate a bipolar, moody, fickle Earth. We shall be free at last!
I just like playing in the dirt. I’ll try hugging it, face-down, Frank, and give you a full report.
Earth also REALLY likes when you plant bit, thick trees in her. Sometimes she likes it when you do it fast and hard, other times, she just appreciates you slowly planting a tree and patting down the dirt around it.
My Sun is more powerful than your earth. If Earth (just for #11) is so all powerful, why doesn’t it just release gravity from hippies and let them float into space? Cause the Suns gravity is stonger and wants the earth to keep its stinky hippies to itself.
I’m confused by this string. This is the Obama Amerika, and it has been made very clear that no one – I repeat, no one – is to discuss global warming. The Apostle Algore stated very clearly that this is “settled science” and that there is a “unanimous consensus” among every single one of the world’s scientists that anything Algore – a man with absolutely no background in science – says is scientifically undesputable. So, you need to end this thread immediately, conform, and repeat the following: Our evil technology is killing the earth, and the only way to save it is to pay higher taxes and buy offset credits from Algore’s companies.
My theory is that hippies like to hug the Earth
so that ants will take care of the crabs.
Hmmmm… I dont prepose in my insignifigance to understand the mind of the Earth or the Sun, but I do know this……. if this whole proclaiming / claiming by fiat gets out of control we’re going to have big troubles. So I PROCLAIM BY FIAT.. that there be created a “Proclaim by Fiat Commision” to verify the bona fides of the proclaimations by examining the fiat in question, thereby ensuring only the most worthy of the proclamations be considered valid. Otherwise we will have countermanding proclamations which will confuse the masses.
Kinda Like……”I proclaim by fiat that I am closing Gitmo” and then …. “I proclaim by fiat that I am leaving Gitmo open”….See what I mean? Imagine what would happen if some amatuer politician reached a position of power and behaved in such a manner.
(Grumble) Sound like a tax-challenged Obama Gauleiter, blaming warming on fat people.
I suppose the sun and the earth will have to duke it out in a cagematch, refereed by Mars. Should the sun win, we’ll have to plunder Pluto and take its ice to cool ourselves and rebuild the ice caps. Should the earth win, we’ll plunder pluto and shove the ice down to the core to freeze the magma.
Either way, I say we go to pluto, steal its ice, and come back here. Pluto’s a tiny planet (or is it?) and it’ll do nothing but cry.
The only way to someday attain peace with the earth is to someday release a F.O.E. in the nearest neighboring galaxy
“Heat can’t travel thru a vacuum.” 1) Heat is the transfer of energy by temperature difference. 2) Radiation CAN travel thru the vacuum of space,by electro-magnetic waves til they ‘hit’ something. 3) the radient energy can now convert to heat energy by the excitation matter by the radient energy.
It is interesting to me that with all we “know” scientifically there are still about 10 to the billionth power of things we don’t know. Mankind is such an arrogant, self absorbed pile of carbon.
I guess that’s why we over look the most basic and simplest ideas. Why chose simple when you can make things a billion times more complicated? It’s so much more entertaining.
If space is a vacuum, how come the earth isn’t sucked into it? Who invented the vacuum of space? Kirby? Hoover?
Whoever it was Live Free Or Die, it wasn’t Nature. Nature abhores a vacuum. Well, at least MOTHER Nature does. Maybe FATHER did since dads love loud sucking sounds.
The earth is warmer in the daytime because Magma is afraid of the dark, and huddles over at the daylight side of the earth. Winter is cold because the Magma is congregating for a greater period of time on the summer side hemisphere.
Ross Perot said the loud sucking sound came from Mexico. Therefore, nature ab-whores Mexico.
Heat can’t travel through a vacuum
I learned that in physics class, too. I remember the class, very well. Keith Olbermann was sitting on my left; Rosie O’Donnell, on my right.
Frank J. is funny, and even though I’m sure he knows, I want to make sure he is familiar with the concept of heat transfer by radiation, which can work across a vacuum. It can also confuse and scare many soccer moms, enviro-cranks and health nuts who strive to avoid everything “unnatural” including such deadly, unhealthy things as sunlight.
How do we communicate to the unscientific layman the difference between unchurned magma and just plain rock?
#33 Chris, you throw them at our heads? 😉
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
Bonus question: Warm rays from the sun can traverse space reach the earth if they are carried by:
A) Unladen Swallows
B) African Swallows
C) European Swallows
D) I don’t know…… AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
This must be a quote from Algore’s movie!
I know for a fact that the above science is true.I am from one of the 57 states and I am one of the 500 million who lost there job this month.
I’m watching a History channel show about that poorly groomed leamur fossil they found.
It was found in a bog in Germany.
They claim the global climate was much warmer back then; hot, humid and swampy, even at the poles, thus proving that monkeys cause global warming!