Strategies to Improve Democrat Popularity

The Democrats could be in trouble come 2010. It’s still a ways off and things could change, but the DNC think they better take some measures to improve the popularity of Democrats. Here are their ideas so far:

DEMOCRATS’ IDEAS TO IMPROVE THEIR POPULARITY

* Have a Harry Reid dunking booth.

* To separate themselves from Obama’s growing unpopularity, they’ll start using racist attacks against him.

* Try to housebreak Alan Grayson.

* Maybe use their large majorities in the House and Senate to pass a law or something.

* No, wait, that will probably just make people madder.

* Have a Harry Reid kick-him-in-the-crotch booth.

* Tell blacks that with a black Democrat in the White House, they’re pretty sure it’s actually illegal for them to vote Republican.

* From now on, Pelosi will wear a hood like Cobra Commander.

* Move from actively rooting for America’s enemies to a more neutral position.

* Try to not feel personally slighted when an American wants to keep some of his own money.

* Have a Harry Reid knock-him-down-and-beat-him-with-a-bat booth.

* Remind Hispanics that Republicans are racist and to not forget the edging.

* When they say a war is lost and must be abandoned, they’ll try not to look so gleeful.

* Try to man up their members by having them watch one hour of FOX News without shrieking like little girls.

* Tell people that Republicans are as bad as the terrorists, except that they’ll actually try and do something about the Republicans.

* Publicly execute Harry Reid.

22 Comments

  1. * Tell people Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are now a WWE tag team. A masked tag team.

    * Tell people Obama likes America as much as he likes unicorns.

    * Kill more terrorists.

    * Mount rockets on dinosaurs and…oh never mind. This is Democrats we are talking about.

  2. Retroactively abort themselves

    Become human projectiles toward terrorists

    Stop coddling terrorists

    Stop being stupid

    stop being mentally ill

    Put harry reid in a blender

    Quit giving face lifts to hillary and nancy so they wont look so frightening

  3. Slightly off topic, but olympia snow job is the only republican to vote for passage of the bachus raise your taxes destroy your health care bill. I encourage everyone to write snow job and tell her exactly waht a turd bucket douche bag she is.

  4. Pelosi dunking booth – 70s vintage Milk

    A chicken in every pot – that they haven’t f**ked yet

    Free gerbils for the Gere wing of the Party

    New hair plugs and a gag for Jumping Joe

    Send Kerry on a 12 month world fact finding tour

    Have Rangel seclude himself in his Caribbean retreat to write his tax scamming tips

  5. Remember that Steven King movie? I think it was Cat’s Eye or something like that. There was a “put a kitteh in a booth with exposed wires on the floor that shock the crap out of your feet” booth scene that cracked me up.

    Would love to see Pelosi in there doing a little dance!

  6. How To Improve Democrat Popularity:

    * Apologize to Sarah Palin

    * Practice what they preach

    * Smack-down the MSM

    * Tell Hollywood celebutards to STFU

    * Impeach Obama

    * Abolish the IRS

    * Cut all Federal spending except for border and national security, and taking care of Veterans

    * Quit hatin on the T. E. A. baggers

    * Mind their own effing business

    * Grow up, get a job and a haircut, and take a bath

  7. Move from actively rooting for America’s enemies to a more neutral position……..Isn’t that asking a bit too much of the Democrats? Also Marco you forgot two of my favorites, f**k-off and p*ss-off.

  8. Democrats need to be waterboarded! We can’t have our men out there torturing the bad guys when the congress doesn’t know what all the torturing is about! Waterboard each member of congress until they resign! Muwhahahahahah!

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