So when are we getting laser rifles? I don’t know. The amount of things I have that I really want to shoot with a laser keeps growing and no progress is ever made on the list. It’s almost 2010; back in the ’80s I assumed that year I’d be driving around in my flying car shooting stuff with a laser. But no dice.
So why not? Well, what I blame for this is… um… immigrants childhood obesity the removal of Pluto from the list of planets blog commenters. Your ignorant comments are impeding Science! If you only spent more time thinking out smart things to say before posting on blogs, we’d probably all have lasers right now. You make everyone dumber with what you say, and that’s why we don’t have military-grade lasers.
So, if you wrote smarter comments, would that mean we would all get lasers? Indubitably. So, instead of writing just some comment on how you don’t like Obama, try to tie it into quantum mechanics. Smart talk like that will most certainly please mighty Science! who will reward our good work with lasers and flying cars and genetically resurrected dinosaurs. Remember: Science! is always watching — well, not actually always which leaves some things in an indeterminate state — but it’s watching a lot of time so be smart for it.
First! That’s my comment.
Smart capitalists actually go out and CREATE the technology, PATENT it, then CHARGE heavily for it…rather than waiting around like a moonbat for someone else to hand them the technology.
If observing an event can effect it, if we all ignore Obama will he fade away? that would be teh awesome. Then we can get around to laser rifles.
But watch the demorats!! They oppose Science! that is useful. You will note that they support useless Global Warming research, not laser rifles.
They can pry my laser rifle from my cold dead fiingers.
Well this commenter already has a couple lasers – and I’m not talking about the ghey little ones in your DVD burner. I don’t know what’s holding you back, bub, but those who really want lasers have lasers.
1 + 1 = 3
There. I’ve done my duty.
Lasers good. Me like. Irregardless, your not gonna get then. For all intensive perposes, there unpossible.
My kitty’s breath smells like catfood.
I don’t like Obama because he has never demonstrated that he has even a laymans understanding of quantum mechanics, in fact he was given the opportunity to take intro to quantum mechanics and he refused, that and I heard he is considering a laser rifle ban. I already ground the serial numbers off mine…..
A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension.
Hate to be a wet blanket but if we had the tech to make dinosaurs we would have the tech for everyone to have their own Lucy Liu robots. At that point war will become obsolete because it would take time away from kissing your robot.
The BATF banned civilian ownership of ‘energy weapons’ back in the 80’s before anyone really was thinking of them, to ensure that you cannot own a laser capable of doing damage.
I propose we perform a Schrödinger experiment, but instead of using a cat, we use Obama. Then we can see if quantum tunneling can be achieved via the use of carbon nanotube quantum transistors with a deep electron well. We might encounter avalanche breakdown due to the stimulated emission of leptons from a semipermeable membrane. Although the black body radiation my result in pink noise, the null hypothesis should be confirmed without undue departure from accepted Newtonian operators or unnecessary derrivation of Fermi-Dirac integrals.
Worst case scenario: we open the box and Obama is still alive.
I dont believe your thought that we dont have any military grade lasers is accurate. Ima purty sure there is a airborne laser in R&D right now that is effective. I think the real problem is in sending a “pulse” style beam ….. I dunt know….. Im not one of dem der engineer types
Oh Gee yogi, you don’t have to egt sore. I know we don’t always post smirt stuff. But we’re only blog posters after all, and not people of science!.
The average obabbbbmaaaa person doesn’t understand quantum physics. So we post for them to understand. You know small words written slowly so they can understand.
Instead of laser rifles, wouldn’t a return to the good old days of pitchforks and torches be much more satisfying? There’s a certain intimacy that’s lost when shooting a hippy with a laser rifle…or a Taliban idiot or treasonous politician for that matter.
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Frank, I have the answer!!! I know!!! It’s a conspircacy:
http://cbullitt.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/frog-physicist-we-are-under-attack-by-demons-from-the-future/
1. “I do not like it, and I am sorry I ever had anything to do with it.”
–Erwin Schrödinger (1887-1961) cat boxer and Austrian physicist. Nobel Prize, 1933. Speaking of quantum mechanics.
Corollary: “I do not like this president and I am sorry I ever had anything to do with his getting into office.”
— Many Obama voters about the 2008 presidential election…in 2009.
2. “If anybody says he can think about quantum problems without getting giddy, that only shows he has not understood the first thing about them.”
— Niels Henrik David Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist.
Corollary: “If anybody says he can be the president of the United States and gets giddy with excitement over the upcoming power trip and all the “Hail to Me” hoopla, that only shows he has not understood the first thing about the office.”
— Pretty much any of the living former presidents, except for Carter (still giddy) and Clinton (who may or may not know that the party has been over for a while now).
Actually, once FrankJ unveils his rocket- and laser-armed T-rex, he’s going to get a lot of that “Hail to Me” hoopla, which is only his due.
Flying cars? Are you kidding? People can’t even drive non-flying cars as it is, imagine them smashing into each other and whatever is on the ground all the time instead of just running a stop sign. MADNESS!
As for lasers, just take a laser pointer and shine it through a diamond and you can cut the tail of any kitteh. That has been known for decades. The problem is how do you ‘clothesline’ kittehs if they have no tails?
Neanderthals in the comment section? But aren’t comment contents a reflection of the blog posts?
OK than.
Rice paper.
Pluto will always be a planet to me.
Sorry about not being smart enough. I got distracted by needing to remove all the pinecones from my backyard so’s I could still make it to heaven.
The Volkswagon/Audi Quantum is no longer in production, hence, it is very hard to find Quantum Mechanics to fix them. Oh, I don’t like O-bah-muhh.
Keep up the good work Frank. You’ve inspired us to talk about Quantum Mechanics.
When Frank evolves into a being of pure energy, he will be a sentient lasar.
Science!, a hard task mistress, but she’s worth it.
I think you are thinking of the liberal comenters to your PJM pages. All of us have doctorate degrees here. I got mine from the back of a Lucky Charms box with 2 proofs of purchase.
I guess without laser rifles we’ll never hear anyone say….”Don’t laze me bro,” just before getting zapped by a laser rifle! And that’s just as nature intended.
Me smirt! I once made it to level 27 on the game asteroids. Which has both quantum mechanics AND space lasers. And, if you throw in my Lifetime Achievement Medallion on Alien Shooter, I have shot aliens on at least 4 different planets with both a laser pulse rifle and a flame thrower.
Personally, my goal it kick Science! in the ‘nads. What has Science! ever done for us? Nothing! Thomas Edison invented the DVD player while Science! was out getting shot down by the waitresses at Hooters. Nicola Tesla invented the frozen burrito and Thomas Moore discovered the tiny brain that tells the aspirin where your pain is and neither one of them had a single day of Science! training.
Well, maybe if the posts were more coherent we might have lasers.
Why must electron configurations be written out completely? Name another element that has the configuration 5F^4 other than Uranium.
Exactly, you can’t.
Гασεςσ are from Σγιενγε !
You know, I’ve noticed a local collapse of the wave function when Frank posts. It’s as if reality can’t stand the probabilistic distrubution function of his thoughts.
There. We can haz lazers now?
“For something to exist, it has to be observed.
For something to exist, it has to have a position in time and space.
And this explains why nine-tenths of the mass of the universe is unaccounted for.
Nine-tenths of the universe is the knowledge of the position and direction of everything in the other tenth. Every atom has its biography, every star its file, every chemical exchange its equivalent of the inspector with a clipboard. it is unaccounted for because it is doing the accounting for the rest of it, and you cannot see the back of your own head.
(Except in very small universes.)
Nine-tenths of the universe, in fact, is the paperwork.”
– Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time.
Can I have a shotgun that shoots microwaves instead?
rice paperwork
Speaking for myself, I have all the laser rifles and phaser pistols I need. But I still can’t find one of those darned, banned-by-the-Federation Romulan disruptors.
http://xkcd.com/54/ Science. It works, Bitches!
Everything I know about Science! was learned from the Hitchhikers Guide books which will have a new volume out soon, though not written by D Adams.
Due to the Obama uncertainty principle, the perception of any substance in a Barack Obama promise lessens the extent to which that promise is in effect. In other words, a fully understood promise ceases to be a promise at all, while any promise that is impossible to understand will remain in force permanently.
Now I shall return to applying corporal punishment to my non-hominid simian primate.
We don’t need to worry about the Large Hadron Collider destroying the earth with a black hole, the Bosun Higgs particle is keeping that from happening. What we really need to be concerned with is the immense density in the Oval Office. When you add in the VP and Pelosi and Reid all meeting there is probably more than enough dense matter to make a black hole of galactic proportions.
Schrödinger’s cat’s breath simultaneously smells and doesn’t smell like cat food until somebody actually smells it.
Right: The ‘Obama Uncertainty Principle’ (OUP) has necessary corollaries, to wit:
* You can either know the position of Air Force One causing panic over a city, or, who’s on the plane, but not both (except Fox News.)
* Like regular Heisenberg Uncertainty, you can either know the position – or the momentum – of Michelle Obama’s Klingon appendages – but not both.
* Any attempt to codify Mr. Obama’s morality will lead to intellectual/photon entanglement and utter chaos in the White House. The result will be a campaign against Fox News.
* Obama wave functions do not collapse like in normal Quantum Theory. They just continue on…. and on…. and on…. and self-interfere in what’s called a Biden Space (BS).
* In the Obama Wave Theory of Quantum Mechanics, matter exhibits a “Yes We Can!” – “No, We Can’t” duality. This duality is similar to the mind/body duality of classical philosophy. (huh?)
The baby-boomers are at fault. The generation before were born on farms riding horses. By mid-life they had landed on the moon. With that speed of revolutionary progress flying cars and laser guns seemed right inline. But then the 60’s happened and every body started focusing on other things. Some good most lesser. Now we spend most of our time and money on welfare, wars, and empty calorie entertainment.
History belongs to whoever shows up and is willing to work for it.
I hereby invent a new science called Quantum Commenting… I would share my proof with fellow posters but there is the “pearls before swine” thing…
Ernie Loco and Jimmy’s posts make my brain hurt.
Well, my comment should make your brain hurt if you have any knowledge of anything I mentioned there. I mean, that comment contains about as much substance and clarity as an Obama speech.