Q. How many Al Gores does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. He’ll warn others of the impending doom if the light bulb isn’t change, but he won’t lift a finger himself.
* * * *
MAN: If that light bulb goes out, it will get dark in here.
AL GORE: If you don’t change that light bulb, the arctic will explode and the moon will eat us.
MAN: I’m not sure that’s right.
AL GORE: The Science! is settled!
MAN: Are you a scientist?
AL GORE: In an alternate universe I’m a scientist.
MAN: I’m not sure that’s right.
AL GORE: Your children will all die if you don’t change this light bulb.
MAN: I’m not even sure it’s about to go out.
AL GORE: When will you be sure? When the light bulb prompts trees to come alive and build nuclear weapons?
MAN: If it’s such a concern to you, why don’t just change the light bulb.
AL GORE: Now you’re just distracting from the issue! We don’t have time to argue about this! You need to change the light bulb now! If you delay any further, the earth will flip upside down making Australia king of the world!
MAN: I’m not sure that’s right.
AL GORE: You’re a denier! You’re a crazy person! I’m going to bite you in the eye!
MAN: You don’t seem well.
AL GORE: This is what capitalism leads to! Light bulbs in threat of going out everywhere! We need more government controls to force people like you to change light bulbs!
MAN: If you try and force me to do anything, I will punch you in the nads.
AL GORE: You hate Science!
MAN: I’m not sure what the ranting and ravings of guy who majored in government and had a C average has to do with science.
AL GORE: I’m very smart!
MAN: I’m not sure that’s right.
Is it part of “compassionate conservatism” to give Algore fair warning before punching him in the nads? Because if it is, then I’m not a compassionate conservative.
I’m not sure that’s right, but I find it funny nonetheless.
Are you sure Big Al has nads?
Q: What’s the difference between Algore and Perez Hilton?
A: One’s a prissy little drama queen who has no knowledge of anything but whose inane rants are still revered by an army of mindless sycophants…and the other is a gossip blogger.
“Let me be clear.”
“Time is running out.”
“The time for talking is over.”
“The time for action is now.”
“Let’s be clear about this.”
Okay! [Thud]
Do I have the wrong guy? I get Obama and Gore confused – a lot.
#5 Jimmy
Al Gore is the POET.
The other guy has big ears.
Hope that helps.
oh sure – you laugh at Al, but he’s quickly becoming a billionaire over this carbon thing.
He may be selling snake oil, but he’s good at it darn it!
AL GORE: There will be droughts and floods at the same time! In the same places!
MAN: Dude, what are you smoking?
Rick,
No doubt. It isn’t Al Gore that is frightening. It is his legion of zombies. Dawn of the dead. Yikes!
@ Jimmy I get Obama and Gore confused too. You know what they one liberal looks and sounds the same as every other liberal.
“Do I have the wrong guy? I get Obama and Gore confused – a lot.”
one is portraying himself as world savior and making a bundle, the other is portraying himself as world savior and spending a bundle.
You know if Obama really wants save the world, he should drop Biden for the second term and pick up Al instead – How can you lose with 2 world saviors in charge?
Change your Leaders not you light bulbs!!!
Excellent Frank J!!! What’s not funny is how close to realilty it is – but Al would never threaten a grown man with an eye-biting…
In fairness to Mr. Gore I’m pretty sure the moon was going to eat us anyway.
Those compact flourecent light blubs make it damn near impossible to listen to AM talk Radio. They buzz and humm like crazy. I smell a conspiracy.
Manbearpig!
Q: Are you sure Big Al has nads?
A: I’m not sure that’s right.
I only
plagiarizequote from the best. 😉People who don’t believe in Manbearpig probably don’t believe in man caused global warming either! Well take warning non-believers, I may not be able to have you arrested for that attitude, but I can certainly have you investigated!….A. Gore, Down in the cellar countin’ my millions.
This is the same spoiled child that became a shut-in, got fat, and didn’t shave for months after he lost the presidential election. Then resurfaced, labeled as the most competent man on Earth.
AL GORE: I’m very smart!
MAN: I’m not sure that’s right.
Al GORE: Racist!!
We need to trick Al Gore into saying his name backwards, to send him back to his alternate universe.
It shouldn’t be too difficult, because even though he proclaims “I’m very smirt!”, ‘I’m not sure that’s right.’
Al Gore doesn’t want to go back to his alternate universe because he’s afraid of the dark. No one ever changes light bulbs there. Talk about your dim bulbs, sheesh.
Al Gore: I invented the internet.
Man: I am not sure that is right.
Al Gore: Conservative!
can’t Al fix GloBull Warming with all the money he made when he invented the interwebz?
You guys really shouldn’t make fun of al gore.
/sarcasm
You left out the part where everyone in the world is required to buy light bulb credits from Al…
you forgot to mention that you have to buy the lightbulb for good ol al’s gree harware store.
“He playyyyeedddd on our feeeaaaaarrrrrrrsssss.”
“And we’re going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan, and then we’re going to Washington, D.C., to take back the White House! eeeyyyyyyaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!” [passes out]
Oh wait. I get these two mixed up too. Still. I have nightmares. Damn them.
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » IMAO Reader Theater: “How Many Al Gores Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?”