The Census is coming out soon. We all should have gotten a letter telling us to expect the Census in a week (you don’t ever want to surprise someone with a Census letter!). As always, all the kooks are worried about the government collecting all this information as an invasion of privacy, but I’ve seen the questions on it, and it’s all pretty boilerplate.
CENSUS QUESTIONS
“How many people are in your household? (NOTE: For purposes of allotting federal funds, whites count as three-fifths of a person)”
“Does any member of your household suffer from mental illness, had a recent psychological break, or listen to Glenn Beck?”
“If the feds were to storm your home, from which entrance are you most vulnerable?”
“Do you approve of President Obama? If not, how long have you been a member of the Klan?”
“Do you find Obama to be presidential? What if he wore an important-looking hat?”
“What’s your deepest, darkest fear?”
“How many guns do you have, where do you keep them, and what times are you most likely to not be home?”
“Are you a member of the Tea Party? Follow Up Question: Would you be less alarmed about being rounded up and sent to a camp if you were told the camp had canoeing and wallet-making?”
“Are you for health care reform? What if Rahm Emmanuel poked you while you were naked?”
In reference to the census letter, based on postage + letter + window envelope + handling, I estimate $1.00 per letter.
There are about 100 million households in the US.
So we spent $100 million that we don’t have to send out letters telling people they would get another letter in about a week. What a waste!.
“If the feds were to storm your home, from which entrance are you most vulnerable?”
The south side, the one with only 3 snipers.
“Does any member of your household suffer from mental illness, had a recent psychological break, or listen to Glenn Beck?”
No, I don’t live with Frank.
“Do you find Obama to be presidential? What if he wore an important-looking hat?”
I thought he sold his hat for cocaine.
If I’m not home, I’m at the range, practicing my marksmanship.
For your safety, stay at least 10 feet away from doors and windows until I get home and disarm the uh alarm system.
Have a wonderful day!
How many minorities do you know that reside in Idaho?
Which organization do you prefer…..ACORN or the NRA?
Are you ashamed for the way the USA has handled itself in world affairs, and find it to be a oppressive, exploitive, imperialistic entity that has murdered millions of brown people in its lust for money?
Bowing President…. good thing or bad thing?
* Which method of Government waste of your money do you most support:
A. Census workers getting drunk, stealing your wallet, robbing a bank, leave your wallet at crime scene.
B. Sending out mail alerting you that you will soon receive more mail.
C. Both.
Come through the back door.
It’s a natural choke point for a Claymore.How many children do you have, and where do they go to school?
Who sexier, Nancy Pelosi or Barney Frank?
How much are you donating to the Obama re-election campaign? Not if, but how much.
Original or extra crispy?
what if rahm emmanuel poked me while I was naked… to be honest if it has to happen that would be the only way I would want it.
“Please list all telephone numbers. Congress, though their recent National Health Care legislation, needs to know the best time to call if a local Death Panel (DP) should wish to contact you. By the way, it is now a Federal crime to purposely destroy a working telephone. Sir! Step away from that telephone!!”
“Check the cars that you drive: (a) General Motors; (b) Other. If you checked ‘Other,’ are you aware that it sucks, is anti-American and has been recalled? Oh, you drive a Chrysler? Und, do you like it?”
“To help reduce the federal deficit and pay for this Census, please sign and attach your 401k to this form and mail.”
Do you love the Obama administration and if not can you explain in a thousand words or more why not?
Would you be interested in enrolling your children in the Obama Youth Summer Camp?
*Do you bitterly cling to your:
A. guns
B. religion
C. both
D. neither
*If you answered anything but ‘D’ to the last question, are you aware that you are a racist bigot?
“Ginger or Mary Ann?”
MikeLL wins.
Only if he answers “Mary Ann”
What is the average age of the bumper stickers on your car?
Were you ever aborted?
Do you order things that are “free” that you have to pay for?
How many black Barbies do you have and how much did you pay for them?
Are you still a racist?
I wonder if I claim to be some sort of oppressed ‘minority’ my rent will suddenly get paid and I’ll get free…well..everything…hmmmm.
It wasn’t a waste of money, the government pays for the post office so all it’s mail is free.
So where’s all the enviro MENTAL ists whining about the 524 billion trees it took to mail a letter that will now sit in a landfill for the next 500 bajillion years?
Could you sell watermelons if a cop flagged down traffic? If yes would you take over our health care reform?
Wouldn’t those questions be “Ginger, Maryann or Michelle?” (with any answer except Michelle meaning you are a racist)
And if you answer that you are “white” for your race, wouldn’t the follow up question be “Are you still a racist?”
I’m catching on to this. I could get a job as a cencus question writer, except that I’m white so I have to be a racist and therefore wouldn’t qualify…
Yea, like I’m going to be running for the door when the bell rings and some idiot is standing there with a clip-board! I think I will pass, thanks!
“Do you find Obama to be presidential? What if he wore an important-looking hat?”
uh, that looks like a bucket to me