So, while most of the country now hates Obama and think he’s stupid, Democrats still support him, right? Nope; 47% of Democrats want a primary challenger to Obama in 2012. So even within the Democrats they’re pretty cognizant of the fact that he sucks and has ruined everything. But who would they replace Obama with? I’m guessing Hilary might have an opinion on that. She’s probably standing there waiting to behead Obama and take his power Highlander style.
You almost have to feel sorry for Obama at this point. He obviously has no idea what he’s doing and just isn’t cut out to be president. It doesn’t seem very constructive to kick him out without also trying to find some occupation he would excel at. I’m thinking he could be a news anchor. All he has to do is look important and read a teleprompter in front of cameras. Dude could totally nail that.
What job would you suggest for Obama?
* Falling off of a cliff consultant.
* Taking a long walk on a short pier consultant.
* Sleeping with the fishes consultant.
* Jumping off of the Brooklyn Bridge consultant.
* Standing still in the middle of the tracks as the Acela races towards you consultant.
* Leaving us alone consultant.
Perhaps he could manage the George W. Bush waste treatment facility in San Francisco.
Assistant Tow truck driver: With a little OJT, he could learn, first hand, how to actually get a car out of a ditch.
Etiquette Instructor for the State Department: Teaching newly hired State Department employees how to Bow.
Cheerleading Instructor: Teach young cheerleaders how to lead increasingly smaller and smaller crowds in chants such as: “Yes we can”, “Fired up! Ready to Go!” etc
Since he wants to be king, let’s build him a floating island and he can declare himself its king. Bonus: he’ll get to see firsthand that the oceans are not in fact rising due to “climate disruption.” (Or, if they are – oh well…)
Bucket Inspector
Waste Management Coordinator
Eminently qualified for Seafood Testing and Inspection at SeaWorld. followed by hand-delivery of some tasty bloody morsels to the orca and/or tiger shark tank.
Let’s see, he’ll have spent years reading from a script and spouting fantasies that only the most immature, mindless, and not-too-bright fans will listen to….
How about the voice over for TeleTubbies?
The guys that suck poop out of septic tanks. His suckitude is off the charts so he would like be the best sucker ever hired by some lucky sucking company!
Badger Tester.
Unicorn Groomer
Cartographer for Missing States
Litter Pan Cleaner in Chief
I would recommend Fry Cook at McD’s, but that’s more responsibility than he can handle.
To hell with that, Alex. Let’s build US a floating island.
Obama is qualified for the level-entry positions:
* Ice cream scooper at Raskin & Bobbins
* Bus boy at Snippers all you can eat buffet (moving up to maybe arugula salad bar attendant)
* Bicycle courier for the Soviet State of Washington
* Operator assistant at an automated car wash
Poll: 47% of democrats are racist!
Used car salesman
Arugula price labeler
Sasquatch walker
Assistant to charlie rangle
Golf ball washer
Mud flap — must be flexible and like to travel.
i often try to imagine what the epitaph of a person will read. Just to be clear, I’m not calling to expedite the process of obtaining an epitaph…it’s more of a “how would I sum up this person’s life’s accomplishments” sort of thing. One phrase comes to mind – it’s a phrase I used to see in grade school a lot before letter grades, correct answers, and results mattered.
Barack Hussein Obama – He did his best.
Personal Doggie Yard Poop Scooper, he is an Ivy League graduate!
Waffle machine cleaner at International House of Awful Waffles.
Assistant Fin Cleaner for Aquaman
John McCain’s senatorial, reach-across-the-aisle jerk(er).
(I know… that’s just not nice!)
He could go into retail at a poorly run fast food joint… He’s good at supplying the wrong change.
Foriegn correspondent for Look magazine.
Iceberg watcher.
With all this man made global warming, we need someone watching Icebergs.
professional ferret legger
crash test dummy
Fundraiser for Conservative candidates
Director of Republican Registration Drive
Chairman of Fox News Ratings Increase Division
* Head of the search party to find those missing seven states.
* Community Organ-Grinder (he’ll have his pick of unemployed democrap monkeys to get him some ‘change’).
* Golf Caddy (he’s very familiar with a large number of ‘gulf’ courses)
* House Husband, stay-at-home dad, room parent for his kids class.
* Hillary’s Secty of State.
* Kenya’s Ambassador to the US.
Who are we kidding – he’ll be right back to the only undefined job he’s ever had – Community Disorganizer!
Teleprompter Tester.
That guy who drives cars into ditches. He’s good at that, apparently.
Arugula Pricer.
That guy who clears the room at the end of concerts.
Bike Helmet Tester.
Chief Apologist for Cuba.
Create a new reality show, like “The Truman Show” where he thinks he is still president. Think of all the wacky fun that could be!. As long as there are enough teleprompters, it would be pretty easy to script.
“Reagan a time for choosing 1964” speech is always passed around with awful quality youtube clips. Imo this one is much better
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1777069922535499977#
Salmon gutter.
He will fit right in with these…
-A paramedic who only treats athletes foot and lectures on weight problems instead of dealing with heart attacks.
-A car mechanic who only changes the oil, inflates the tires, rips out the transmission instead of fixing the flat tire
-Any unelected government position
-Any human resources position
-Any Academia position
The world is his oyster he can be anything as long as it doesn’t require him to be a successful executive.
Pilot on NASA’s first one-way mission to Mars in 2012.
The official 24/7 Caddy for Let’s be Clear Toxic Waste Dump of Demoncratistan.
Kenyan.
* UN Secretary General
* Harvard Prof.
* Serial book writer and incessant whiner (of the Carter mold variety)
* Team with Holder for shakedown operation (of the Jesse Jackson mold variety)
* Study of man with no spine (of the Jello salad mold variety)
This is prolly a bit too serious for this thread; however, I thought Obama was a total failure until I read Dinesh D’souza’s _The_Roots_of_Obama’s_Rage_. Obama has been fairly successful at what he set out to do. The key is to understand what Mr. Inscrutable set out to do. More than worth the read, by the way.
He needs to work in the complaints division of customer service at a big company. Your dvd player stopped working just because your kid put a slice of bologna in it? Obama bows deeply and apologizes – our fault entirely! There should have been an explicit warning in 57 languages! There should have been a bologna guard! DVD player operation for toddlers should be part of the mandatory curriculum in free childcare classes! The greedy corporate masters who had the nerve to collect salaries while your DVD player was inadequately protected will make you whole at once! You are a victim, not a crybaby! Nothing bad that happens to you can possibly be your own fault! In fact, we take responsibility for failing to warn you in advance of your purchase that there are no programs worth recording, anyway. We apologize for exposing your entire family to garbage and will make a public service donation to NPR and PBS immediately! (Bows again.)
Crowd estimator for CBS “news”
(Jon Stewart Rally Attracts Estimated 215,000, same page “story”:Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Estimated 87,000)
Racism accuser for all future Jon Stewart Rallies, was there even one person of African American color there?
I thought this was an indication that all people there are racists…hmmmm. Stay tuned to MSNBC for more on this
breaking story.
Lead tester for Smith and Wesson
In order to be a ‘serial’ book writer, I think he needs to have actually written one….himself.
“What job would you suggest for Obama?”
You mean after working so hard for George Soros, he doesn’t have a proper retirement package set up for him? What kind of employer is Soros?
Arugula taster.
Ice cream courrier.
Mom jeans model.
Keithn Olberman’s replacement after he is fired by his democrat overlord’s fornot swinging this election fheir way. All the job requires is the ability to read a telepromptor and stick your folt in your mouth.
here’s some ideas ….
1. Going from door to door telling people how stupid they are.
2. Making meaningless promises to people in homeless shelters. For tips.
3. Write a book: “Everybody in the Country is a Stupid Racist”.
4. Organize a community somewhere in Kenya.
5. Take advantage of any of several thousand shovel ready projects all over the country.
6. Work in a temp agency connecting people with all the jobs he saved or created.
7. Do QC in a teleprompter factory.
8. George Soros’ personal sock puppet. No wait, that’s what he’s doing now.
9. Travel all over the world explaining to our allies that we like them fine, the problem is just that he’s a socialist dork.
10. Set up a little kiosk in Times Square with a little sign that says “Gullible Fools Hornswoggled, 25 cents”
Adjunct Faculty member at the “How to throw like a girl academy”.
Suicidal idiot
Lower left block on ‘Hollywood Squares’.
(He’s not good enough to rate the center square.)
4of7:
Not Charley Weaver’s square!!!
An Obama type job, gee I can’t even think of anything that his royal uselessness could do without screwing it up for someone else.
Wait I know, he can be Little Keithy Olberman’s research assistant. Since very few people listen to him anyway and his arguments amount to spewing spittle and incomprehensible gibberish it won’t matter what the king of lies comes up with. I call it a win-win.
#44 – Basil,
I meant the viewer’s left – I wouldn’t do that to poor old Charley Weaver!
When he talks, I really want to believe him, his voice is so reassuring! Can we get this guy doing infomercials?
Nobel Committee Member