Proving that the stuffed-shirt, white-bread, too-Mormon, Republican candidate is at least physically capable of loosening his double-Windsor knot on occasion, his campaign started a Twitter account with the amusing premise of being tweets from his campaign tour bus.
Were I in charge of this account, here’s the direction I’d be inclined to go (Mitt, feel free to steal these):
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1) Just contacted by Obama campaign with request to rent body storage space underneath me.
2) What’s shaped like a bus, wasn’t made in Canada, doesn’t look like Darth Vader’s helmet, and has a horn? HONK! HONK! – THIS GUY!
3) Say, what happened to all those “American Reinvestment & Recovery Act” road signs? My guess: unemployed hobos are using them as frying pans
4) No, Mitt hasn’t tied a dog on top of me. Hasn’t tried to grill one on my engine block either. Not all buses can say that last one.
5) Unlike some presidential candidate buses, I can produce my long-form vehicle registration certificate.
6) I hear Obama’s tour bus once used a VIN from Connecticut.
7) If Mitt wins, he promises I’ll get my own elevator.
8) Fueled by the tears of weeping liberals, which is technically a renewable green energy source.
9) Ewww! What’s the best way to clean hippies out of your tire treads?
10) Kelly in Omaha tweets, “what’s your favorite TV show?” – Answer: “The Big Bang Theory”: Bus-zinga!
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So… what do you think Romney’s bus should tweet?
9) Ewww! What’s the best way to clean hippies out of your tire treads?
Man, that’s a sticky, stinky mess. I wouldn’t wish it on an enemy, well mebbe Bill Maher. Any solvent that would clean that stubborn glop would likely ruin the tires — best to replace them.
The Obama campaign bus was made here to make up for blocking the Keystone pipeline. We’re still waiting for an official apology and for the presidential bow to our PM.
I put the bus in omnibus deficit reduction bill. Ta-da!
If Obama doesn’t like my tweets he can bite me – and he probably would if I were a Greyhound Bus.
And I thought they smelled bad (deep breath) ……on the outside. /Han Solo
“Fueled by the tears of weeping liberals, which is technically a renewable green energy source.”
…and limitless as well.
* “I am the BANE of the Obama administration.”
* “Everyone who rides in me has never eaten dog.”
* “If you haven’t worked for a living, get off.”
The RomneyBus is apparently made by Motor Coach International, which has two bus factories, Pembina, ND, and Winnipeg, Manitoba. Might check the VIN.
Cheers
JMH – Since the liberal media hasn’t played the “Romney’s bus was made in Canada” card yet, I’m guessing it’s from ND.
And if Mitt didn’t learn anything from Obama’s Canadian bus problem, then Mitt absolutely deserves whatever ridicule comes his way.
Heck, I’ll probably send some myself.
Touring the 50 US States…. Screw those other 8…