The EPA now wants ditches to be regulated as “navigable waterways.”
Oops! I just spilled my coffee. Is my desk a “protected wetland” now?
The EPA now wants ditches to be regulated as “navigable waterways.”
Oops! I just spilled my coffee. Is my desk a “protected wetland” now?
Scary. This means “LOLPMP” now leads to government seizure of one’s underwear…
Now I can add “digging of numerous navigable waterways” to my resume!
Navigable by…? Ants on leaves? A little steam boat captained by a mouse?
They came first for the ditches, and I didn’t speak up because I didn’t have ditches…
So then, does my Slip-n-Slide count as a lock?
So if I fart in my cube, does that affect maritime traffic?
So if a ditch is a navigable waterway, does that mean we can no longer leave bodies there?
Does that mean they want to tax my Popsicle stick raft?
Your president and his cabinet are just such a waste of semi-human skin.
Hell, I had 300′ of my ditch dug-out last year to a depth of 24″ (anyone need some dirt?). Now I have rainbow trout in it and little Leprechauns in tiny dinghies with short, skinny oars rowing up and down trying to catch the trout! EPA – help me! This ditch needs regulating! And I could sure use Homeland Security to help police the alien Leprechauns. Those buggers are annoying. (Yesterday, I saw them checking out my beets and potatoes!)
Whoaaaaaaaa…. a flying Unicorn just went past my window. The only solution to all this stuff is MORE GOVERNMENT! Thanks Obama!!!11!!
Semi-human skin?!!? Oh NOW you’ve done it, you RRAAAAACCIIISSSTTTT!!1!111!!1
I just went on Google Earth and renamed my hot tub “The Sea of Love”.
Do not! I repeat, do not release any methane into your bathtub when full. If you do, be advised that the arresting EPA officer must allow you to put your clothes on before putting the handcuffs on you.
The EPA got 99 problems, but a bavigable baterway ain’t one.
.
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Nope. That just doesn’t work.
There’s 2 sump pumps in the building I’m working on, does this mean I can get arrested for pi$$ing in them?
They say they are technically navigable, because the water in them eventually winds up in navigable bodies of water. So I guess that make my toilet a navigable waterway…
Beware the Royal Rodent Navy ruling the waves on your drainage ditch. Maybe the DoD should get involved instead of the EPA.
And don’t forget swimming pools. You cannot release pH balancing chemicals into a navigable waterway without a permit. The Clean Water Act clearly states that navigable waterways must be left pristine, which in the case of a swimming pool means completely infested with algae and brain-eating amoebas.
“Oops! I just spilled my coffee. Is my desk a “protected wetland” now?”
yes, and the coffee is now hazardous waste
you now owe a $10k fine for the clean up, and another $10k fine for not having proper containment facilities and hazardous waste containers available $10k fine for not having proper safety equipment availablle, $10k fine for improper training and another $10k fine for not having your HazMat Documuntation Library up to date.
Your lucky you didn’t spill milk