The Evidence Obama Is a Good President Is Classified

Republicans are questioning the White House over all the recent classified leaks. It sort of seems like Obama is having his cronies leak information that makes it look like he’s tough about terrorism. Doesn’t that seem like a good Obama line, though? “I’m a really really good president, but all the evidence for that is classified.” Maybe we can assign agents Mulder and Scully to the case of finding reasons Obama should be reelected.

5 Comments

  1. Mulder: I want to believe Obama isn’t a terrible failure and that there is a reason to reelect him.

    Scully: Mulder, there’s absolutely no evidence to support that hypothesis. Obama has proved his incompetence at every turn!

    Mulder: Think what this would mean though, Scully, if it were true. We could be looking at a completely new and exciting *mumble blurble garble farble* thing!

    Scully: What am I saying? Of course you believe! You’re the idiot who believes in aliens, vampires, ghosts, shapeshifters, telekinesis, and anything else there’s no evidence for.

    Mulder: Hey, I didn’t say I believe Obama’s even marginally competent; I said I want to believe. Cause it would be cool. Even I’m not gullible enough to buy the load of malarkey Obama is shoveling.

  2. Guys. I’m terrified. Remember when Obama cherry-picked and shifted data to claim spending acceleration was the lowest under him, but in reality he has been spending four trillion dollars a year? We have to assume that the same thing is going on here and the classified operations he hasn’t leaked are bringing us to the verge of WWIII.

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