Idea: A reality show where people compete to see who is better at punching each other.
No, not boxing; I don’t want the outcomes to be staged.
If I were a NYC business, I’d switch the medium soda to being 17ozs from now on. Because freedom.
Do we need to send the national guard into NYC to protect people getting Big Gulps?
The reason for that law is that if more than 16oz of sugary soda is poured on Mayor Bloomberg, he’ll melt.
Bloomberg is prepared for this. He never thought arbitrarily trampling people’s rights would be easy.
It would be nice if once Obama suffered consequences from his own stupidity.
There should be a huge, punitive tax for voting for politicians who support more taxes.
Seeing how asinine some elected officials are, you have to take every idiot running for higher office seriously.
Nixon sounded like a horrible president. Created the EPA. Wanted a handgun ban. And… I forget the third thing.
Someone needs to trick Bloomberg into saying his name backwards to send him back to his own dimension.
Or is the way to beat Bloomberg to guess his real name within three days of him passing a law?
I write silly stuff because I started when I was 23 and it just felt silly lecturing people at that age. Still feel that way at 33. But less so.
Oh, but when I’m 60, get ready for some major lectures!
How can Ashley Judd be a senator if she can’t even stop bees from stinging her face?
We need to stop this endless war and stick to secretly assassinating all dictators. Make it look like God smote them or something.
Ashley Judd is going to star in a movie where a woman becomes a U.S. Senator. Only in Hollywood! “Nothing in the Constitution says the Senator has to be a man.”
I don’t know if Ashley Judd has the fire in the belly to run for office, but she certainly has the puffiness in the face.
McConnell 2014: “If his face was puffy, he’d tell you why.”
No worries of Mitch McConnell embarrassing his state with a nude scene; he always wears cutoffs, even in the shower. #NeverNude
I’m scientifically proven to be funny. If you don’t find me funny, 98% of the time that’s because of a brain tumor.
Ashley Judd will do nude scenes, but only if the debate questions require it.
Where I come from, we’ve a word for women who take off their clothes for money: actress. Guess it’s same word, but connotation is different.
Are there actually any congressmen in real life as smart and as competent as Frank Underwood?
In prehistoric times, Chihuahuas were the size of bears.
The third thing with Nixon was opening trade with China
Don’t forget Nixon’s war on cancer. How’s that going?
Stop endless war!!!11!!
A friend of mine told me back in our youth that he was to the right of Nixon. A shocking statement. Then I read more about Nixon’s presidency and realized I am too. You see what happens when a Republican does everything Liberals want to make them happy? Watergate.
And Frank, sorry to hear about your brain tumor.
I just found out the our own Fred Key* has some books published.
I’d buy them if they gave cats credit cards. Racists.
*The phrase “our own Fred Key” implies neither ownership of nor responsibilty for Fred Key or anything he may or may not have done. Fred Key who? Never heard of him.
“I’m scientifically proven to be funny. If you don’t find me funny, 98% of the time that’s because of a brain tumor.”
It’s not a TOO-mah!
And Frank, sorry to hear about your brain tumor.
So that eeee-vile Romney has used his Mormon-Tabernacle Trilateralist cancer commandos to not only afflict Valerie Harper but Frank as well?!?
I knew that those squishy RINOs were up to no good. Looking all white-bread wholesome with their capped white teeth grinning innocuously.
Damn…we’d all be exploding with malignant melanomas if Romney had been elected.
I AM NOT A CAT’S PLAYTHING! I AM A FREE MAN!
(But thanks for the mention, DC! The catnip is in the mail)
The only reason to vote for Judd is if she PROMISES to do nude scenes!
The reason for that law is that if more than 16oz of sugary soda is poured on Mayor Bloomberg, he’ll melt.
I’ve always understood that it’s because the typical container for more than 16 oz of sugary soda is taller than Mayor Bloomberg.
FredKey, once DamnCat gets his claws into you, you’re in big trouble. You have the right idea: placate with catnip. Also Tuna. Occasional bacon. Dancing strings also work, but away from the body.
In prehistoric times, bears were the size of nanny-states.
“In prehistoric times, Chihuahuas were the size of bears.” That’s because the Chihuahuas in question drank too many 32 oz sugary sodas! ~ Nanny Bloomberg, minding your business, NYC.
Never Get Naked In Your Shower
You’re welcome…
Frank’s only 33? . . . Piker!
Can’t imagine how jaded he’ll be when he’s in his fifties.
Live and learn, my friend.
Yeah, I know, Oppo. He seems a lot older, doesn’t he? Either that or we’re just ♫ “young at heart.” ♫
“Oh, but when I’m 60, get ready for some major lectures!”
Frank, we’re not waiting around here until you get serious!
“Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?”
– Some old hippie band.