MSNBC (08 Aug 2013) Breaking News: Today President Obama selflessly grabbed and choked to death a rabid puppy that was about to attack members of an audience gathered together to hear him denounce the Republican Party and the policies of his predecessor George Bush. Selflessly risking his life he was able to prevent the rabid animal from causing harm to any of the spectators. He blamed the presence of the rabid animal on cuts in the budget caused by the sequester and Republican attacks on the Affordable Health Care Act. “It is obvious,” stated the president, “that we need more spending at the federal level for the prevention of rabies and other related diseases in puppies and other animals. Therefor I am proposing that we spend an additional gazillion dollars in stimulus money on the study of rabid puppies and their effect on the environment and global warming.” Also, the president has promised a full investigation of the incident by the FBI but stated that, “It could take a year or two.” Meanwhile Republican leaders denounced the incident as just another stunt to make the president look good and to promote his agenda.
That would take awhile since he has the puppy by the chest and not the neck. We would be constantly interrupted with updates on the puppy strangling and how he protecting us from it with his brave actions. :p
Reminds me of this:
Media Having Trouble Finding Right Angle On Obama’s Double-Homicide
http://www.theonion.com/articles/media-having-trouble-finding-right-angle-on-obamas,2703/
You forgot his halo.
We need to pull that shot back so we can take in the more of the audience with their mindless vapid smiles as they applaud the deed.
At least he eats what he kills.
Puppy – It’s what’s for dinner.
MSNBC (08 Aug 2013) Breaking News: Today President Obama selflessly grabbed and choked to death a rabid puppy that was about to attack members of an audience gathered together to hear him denounce the Republican Party and the policies of his predecessor George Bush. Selflessly risking his life he was able to prevent the rabid animal from causing harm to any of the spectators. He blamed the presence of the rabid animal on cuts in the budget caused by the sequester and Republican attacks on the Affordable Health Care Act. “It is obvious,” stated the president, “that we need more spending at the federal level for the prevention of rabies and other related diseases in puppies and other animals. Therefor I am proposing that we spend an additional gazillion dollars in stimulus money on the study of rabid puppies and their effect on the environment and global warming.” Also, the president has promised a full investigation of the incident by the FBI but stated that, “It could take a year or two.” Meanwhile Republican leaders denounced the incident as just another stunt to make the president look good and to promote his agenda.
The AP would report it as:
“Obama strangeled a [terrorist cell’s communications and held an adorable] puppy today …”
To prove he is not wasteful, Obama than had the puppy for lunch.
Obama: If I had a baby seal for lunch it would look like like my puppy.
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That would take awhile since he has the puppy by the chest and not the neck. We would be constantly interrupted with updates on the puppy strangling and how he protecting us from it with his brave actions. :p