Straight Line of the Day: On Furlough – The Official Senate Clock Winder. Also on Furlough…

[High Praise! to Derek of Awesometific American for the link]

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

On furlough – the official Senate clock-winder. Also on furlough…

39 Comments

  1. On furlough – the official Senate clock-winder. Also on furlough…

    …the White House furniture polisher responsible for removing Barry’s shoe scuffs and scratches.

    …Bo and Sunny’s fur ball attendant.

  2. On furlough – the official Senate clock-winder. Also on furlough…

    the Official Senate hooker.

    the official clock reader.

    the official shoe tie-er

    the official in charge of reminding the COngressmen to breathe in, breath out, breathe in, breathe out…

  3. On furlough – the official Senate clock-winder. Also on furlough…

    the Official drool bucket cleaner.

    the guy how actually pays attention to the Constitution.

    the Official Cookie taster.

  4. On furlough – the official Senate clock-winder. Also on furlough…

    …the official Senate horologist (duh)

    …the official Senate blacksmith

    …the official Senate bathroom attendant.

    …any common sense in the Senate, but that’s been on furlough for quite some time.

  5. …the guy who carries in Biden’s high chair when he needs to cast a deciding vote.

    …Harry Reid’s talcum powderer, but his diaper changer stays.

    …the weird guy who makes Harry Reid’s suits out of discarded Nancy Pelosi skin.

    …the guy in charge of feeding Cerberus. Well, not furloughed so much as missing.

    …the entire Department of Changing a’s and A’s to o’s and O’s For Senators Who Can’t Remember When It’s Capital or Capitol. The cue card waivers on the steps will remain open for the MSM.

  6. @21 – Seconding Anonymiss’s astonishment.

    If I’d known Columbus Day was an actual holiday instead of just a made-up excuse to not deliver my mail, I’d have only made 6 posts today.

    Full disclosure: I’ve never attended a school or held a job that gave Columbus Day off. It’s been a hard-knock life.

  7. Some of us are semi-retired, Harvey. We only work because we’re addicted to it, kind of like IMAO. What I want to know is how does Miss Anony, as an engineer, find so much time to bake cookies?

  8. @30 I heard she has a magical mixing machine that holds like 50 tons of dough and she just wiggles her fingers at it and everything comes out mixed perfectly.

    Probably has some magical device that makes all her cookies exactly the same size so that no one ever has to get a “small” cookie.

    Bet her cookies don’t even stick to her baking sheets. Just pop right off.

    And they’re always perfectly golden brown and never burnt.

    Of course, all that could be just an old campfire legend, but why take chances?

    The woman’s got POWERS, I tells ya!

  9. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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