life is like a cartoon show, you wear the same clothes everyday to see how long it takes people to notice

— sofahunk 3000 (@couchdweller) May 8, 2014

Anyone doubt that Harry Reid smells of urine and sadness?

— Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) May 8, 2014

After much trepidation I have ultimately arrived at the conclusion that Pharrell's hat is indeed bigger than a normal hat.

— Tyler Schmall (@tylerschmall) May 8, 2014

People call me "Radio Shack" on Twitter, because I'm still around and nobody understands why.

— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) May 8, 2014