Saw a pilot wearing a tie with pictures of airplanes on it. After thinking about it for a couple hours, I'm okay with that.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) June 20, 2014
Hi, I’d like to return these turtles. They don’t do karate.
— Viktor Winetrout, Jr (@Cpin42) June 20, 2014
M-O-R-E L-I-K-E O-U-I-J-A B-O-R-E-D i signal to my grandchildren from purgatory
— Markus J (@MarkusJ) June 20, 2014
Neighbors just watched me unpack a crate and carry a lifesize LEGO statue of myself into my house. I guess I'm the weird neighbor.
— Jonathan Coulton (@jonathancoulton) June 20, 2014
want to feel old? why? what's wrong with you, that you would want that
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) June 20, 2014
Washington is a fist, and the IRS is its middle finger.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 20, 2014