No matter how low your opinion of Washington, it's nothing compared to Washington's low opinion of you.

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 11, 2014

George R.R. Martin has joined twitter! He will introduce 140 characters, and then kill off your favorite ones.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) June 11, 2014

Game of Thrones, only with puppets. And they all live in the same town. And nobody dies. Kids are everywhere. Different name. Sesame Street.

— Growly Grego (@GrowlyGrego) June 11, 2014

This "Dumb and Dumber To" trailer is hilarious but wow it's really long and oh wait I'm watching C-SPAN.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) June 11, 2014

David Brat has a lot to cope with, being an exciting Republican star but also father of the Bratz girls.

— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) June 11, 2014

Oh iTunes, why can't I force quit you

— Gabriel Rossman (@GabrielRossman) June 11, 2014

imagine being in a relationship with someone who didn't like the oxford comma

— andy levy (@andylevy) June 11, 2014

Dear Mr. President, I'm pretty sure the appropriate reply to "I hope he fails" isn't "Challenge accepted".

— Jimmie (@jimmiebjr) June 12, 2014