17 Comments

  1. There will be a new rule at this year’s Republican convention…

    …two men enter, one man leaves. (works for dem convention too)

    …candidates wives must mud wrestle.

    …will be the same as the old rule. Nominate and get all excited about a candidate that stands no chance of winning the general election.

    …get a little man with a broom

  2. ◾ Each player gets six cards, except for the player on the dealer’s right, who gets seven.
    ◾ The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.
    ◾ Two jacks are a “half-fizzbin”.
    ◾ If you have a half-fizzbin:
    ◾ a third jack is a “shralk” and results in disqualification;
    ◾ one wants a king and a deuce, except at night, when one wants a queen and a four;
    ◾ if a king had been dealt, the player would get another card, except when it is dark, in which case he’d have to give it back.
    ◾ The top hand is a “royal fizzbin”, but the odds against getting one are…”astronomical”.

  3. . . . the designated hitter is allowed, because the convention is in a city with only an American league baseball team

    . . . if the puck crosses two red lines, Obama will show up to claim that the red lines didn’t exist.

  4. The main event will feature a cage match between Romneybot and Rubiobot with the winning team getting a night in the “boom-boom” suite with the Scarlet Johansson robot the creepy Asian guy built.

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