It turns out that Hillary kept Ben Rhodes’ resume and the notes from his interview on her personal server.  In other words, they are opened up to the internet like an orchid.  Here are some of his more telling qualifications for his job of Middle East Expert for the administration:

• He saw a trailer for Homeland once
• He beat Obama 2 out of 3 at Risk
• He beat Obama 3 out of 3 at Tic-Tac-Toe
• He demonstrated an understanding of the fundamental parts of a narrative: the beginning, the middle and the Islamophobia
• His pointy head was ideally shaped for easy insertion into his own or anyone else’s posterior
• During college, he went through a brief Mohammad-curious phase
• According to his family lore, he was part black through his Uncle Ben
• When asked his opinion of the Zionist movement, he responded that he didn’t much care for reggae
• He’d spent some time in the Midwest, and he was pretty sure the Middle East was just the opposite of that
• When his grandparents immigrated to America, the immigration official changed their surname to Rhodes because he couldn’t spell Bakka Lakka Dakka
• Throughout the interview, none of his answers exceeded 140 characters
• He handily beat all the other applicants in the dance-of-the-seven-veils portion of the interview
• He wrote a short story about how nuclear proliferation is underrated
• Throughout the interview, he kept unconsciously humming Obama’s favorite tune, Song for Allah
• He hadn’t built or accomplished anything