The Illustrated Frank J: Actual Percentage of Total Voter Population Exaggerated for Effect

[source]

Careful What You Ask For

President Obama said his administration directed schools to provide transgender bathrooms for students because “Schools were asking the Department of Education, how should we handle this?”

Sorry, Barack, the correct answer was “like grown-ups with a lick of common sense”.

A Gentle Reminder for Sanders Voters

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Link of the Day: Satire – White House Press Secretary Clarifies US Involvement in Iraq

[High Praise! to DuffelBlog]

The DB interview: White House Press Secretary clarifies U.S. involvement in Iraq

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)

Fixing the Root Cause of Their Problem

A new study shows that electric vehicles actually produce more pollution than internal combustion cars.

I’m sure environmentalists will spring into action by demanding the complete elimination of pollution studies.

Obama Warned Us – Closing the Wage Gap

“I’m here to say we will close the wage gap.” — President Obama #EqualPayDay

@BarackObama

“…by passing a law making it illegal for men to perform labor that’s more valuable than a woman’s.”

Straight Line of the Day: Hillary Is Really Angry Because Bernie Sanders…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Hillary is really angry because Bernie Sanders…

Random Thoughts: Acceptance

Trump vs. Hillary is just stupid. If you get worked up over either choice, you’re an idiot playing a game made for excitable dummies.

I don’t like what Facebook did, but I don’t understand why the government would get involved.

I might support Hillary if she signed a no tax pledge. Or a no eating children pledge. But she won’t sign either.

“We interrupt this TV show you DVR’d a week ago to tell you about storm conditions you hopefully already handled appropriately.”

The conservative movement is dead! Let’s all stick to fighting about who get to push who around and who spends everyone else’s money.

I don’t have to get drunk to have fun or be incoherent.

One thing you can say for the Republicans over the Democrats is at least they tried to have some non-horrible choices for president.

Paul Ryan and Donald Trump teaming up to fix the country could be a good buddy comedy.

The best choice for Trump’s VP would be John Miller.

If Trump called her “Hillary Crooked,” he might stand a better chance of getting one of her spokespeople to slip up and call her it.

In this election, conservatives have nothing to gain and nothing to lose (that isn’t already lost), so might as well not get worked up by it.

When it’s pouring rain and I know I’m going to get soaked no matter what, I walk and don’t run. That’s how I feel about this election. Relax.

Porta Potties have never cared what gender you are or think you are. Let’s just put Porta Potties everywhere. Porta Potties for freedom!

Leonard Snart is my favorite character from the Arrowverse. He could read from the phonebook and make it sound like a snarky comeback.

Hillary is a lot more likeable if you pretend she’s a Borat-type satire of what everyone hates about politicians.

The Hillary vs Trump spectacle will achieve something lasting and useful if it reduces our reverence toward the office of the president.

Rain. What is it? Where does it come from? Scientists don’t know.

Trump plans to balance his ticket with “a really classy broad” while Hillary is required by contract to pick for VP the CEO of Goldman Sachs.

I’m really hoping Donald Trump releases a video rant on the female Ghostbusters movie.

How did they screw up and accidentally cast all women for Ghostbusters? I bet some movie exec got fired for that one.

“Trump is horrible” is a legitimate observation, but you have to remember that Hillary is also horrible as are both parties and the media.

If the new Ghostbusters bombs, it will probably be a while until they let women be in movies again.

If you just frame it as “who do we want to be king idiot of our moron government?” we have two great choices.

One of the big differences between Hillary and Trump is that more people pretend Hillary is a serious candidate.

“Keep Austin weird… but in no way that’s innovative.”

I hate when you go to a site and it autoplays videos. Hey, YouTube, I just want to read angry comments in peace!

I don’t get the term “waffling” in politics. Waffles are consistent. They’re always yummy.

All these idiot college kids asking for a safe space need to talk to some astronauts and realize space is never safe.

I want a government so small we won’t care that it will always be run by horrible idiots.

Finally saw Civil War. The 30 minutes of Spider-man in it basically beat out all the other Spider-man movies.

Bernie Sanders is one of the most honest and authentic people to run for president in a long time. He’s also one of the dumbest.

“If you want a cash refund, we’ll need a receipt.”
*waves hand through the air* “You do not need a receipt.”
-Return of the Jedi

Also, Be Sure to Split Up, and Ask “Hello? Is Anybody There?” A Lot

The latest fitness trend sweeping the US – “forest bathing“, a term for “soaking up the sights, smells and sounds of a natural setting to promote physiological and psychological health”

Great idea. See also: “The Blair Witch Project”.