Trump vs. Hillary is just stupid. If you get worked up over either choice, you’re an idiot playing a game made for excitable dummies.

I don’t like what Facebook did, but I don’t understand why the government would get involved.

I might support Hillary if she signed a no tax pledge. Or a no eating children pledge. But she won’t sign either.

“We interrupt this TV show you DVR’d a week ago to tell you about storm conditions you hopefully already handled appropriately.”

The conservative movement is dead! Let’s all stick to fighting about who get to push who around and who spends everyone else’s money.

I don’t have to get drunk to have fun or be incoherent.

One thing you can say for the Republicans over the Democrats is at least they tried to have some non-horrible choices for president.

Paul Ryan and Donald Trump teaming up to fix the country could be a good buddy comedy.

The best choice for Trump’s VP would be John Miller.

If Trump called her “Hillary Crooked,” he might stand a better chance of getting one of her spokespeople to slip up and call her it.

In this election, conservatives have nothing to gain and nothing to lose (that isn’t already lost), so might as well not get worked up by it.

When it’s pouring rain and I know I’m going to get soaked no matter what, I walk and don’t run. That’s how I feel about this election. Relax.

Porta Potties have never cared what gender you are or think you are. Let’s just put Porta Potties everywhere. Porta Potties for freedom!

Leonard Snart is my favorite character from the Arrowverse. He could read from the phonebook and make it sound like a snarky comeback.

Hillary is a lot more likeable if you pretend she’s a Borat-type satire of what everyone hates about politicians.

The Hillary vs Trump spectacle will achieve something lasting and useful if it reduces our reverence toward the office of the president.

Rain. What is it? Where does it come from? Scientists don’t know.

Trump plans to balance his ticket with “a really classy broad” while Hillary is required by contract to pick for VP the CEO of Goldman Sachs.

I’m really hoping Donald Trump releases a video rant on the female Ghostbusters movie.

How did they screw up and accidentally cast all women for Ghostbusters? I bet some movie exec got fired for that one.

“Trump is horrible” is a legitimate observation, but you have to remember that Hillary is also horrible as are both parties and the media.

If the new Ghostbusters bombs, it will probably be a while until they let women be in movies again.

If you just frame it as “who do we want to be king idiot of our moron government?” we have two great choices.

One of the big differences between Hillary and Trump is that more people pretend Hillary is a serious candidate.

“Keep Austin weird… but in no way that’s innovative.”

I hate when you go to a site and it autoplays videos. Hey, YouTube, I just want to read angry comments in peace!

I don’t get the term “waffling” in politics. Waffles are consistent. They’re always yummy.

All these idiot college kids asking for a safe space need to talk to some astronauts and realize space is never safe.

I want a government so small we won’t care that it will always be run by horrible idiots.

Finally saw Civil War. The 30 minutes of Spider-man in it basically beat out all the other Spider-man movies.

Bernie Sanders is one of the most honest and authentic people to run for president in a long time. He’s also one of the dumbest.

“If you want a cash refund, we’ll need a receipt.”
*waves hand through the air* “You do not need a receipt.”
-Return of the Jedi