Now that he is the presumptive nominee, it’s time for The Donald to turn his cool, informed savvy toward beating The Hillary. Here are his plans that have been leaked.
- Make a great deal so that both he and Hillary run as each other’s VPs.
- If the rigged Electoral College doesn’t make him President, there will be riots.
- Start wearing lipstick and a dress. Transgender trumps woman.
- Leak that photo of Hillary palling around with John Wilkes Booth.
- At the start of the first debate, pin Hillary to the floor and give her a pink belly until she agrees to drop out of the race.
- Threaten to ‘spill the beans’ on Bill. Wait til you see it. It will be yuge!
- Keep reminding the electorate that his daughter is way hotter than Chelsea. Which one do you want to have to look at for the next four years?
- Make a better deal with Lucifer, maybe even appoint him to the Supreme Court.
- Garner the endorsements of such Washington outsiders as Boehner, Pelosi, Boxer, Schumer, Reid, Bill Clinton…..
- Be the first Republican candidate to actively court the dead vote.
- He’s pretty sure Hillary is ineligible to run because she isn’t a natural born citizen, but how to prove it?
- Woo Bernie supporters by offering taxpayer funded Trump University for all.
Look a lot of people are saying Hillary killed Vince Foster. I’m not saying that. People are saying that. I don’t know if it’s true but people think it is. Why is nobody talking about this? Well…except for the people that are saying it. It’s terrible that Hillary can just go around and kill people. He was gay by the way. Vince Foster I mean. I don’t have a problem with that. I just think that it’s terrible that Hillary just goes around killing gays and nobody talks about it. I don’t know. It’s just nit right. The system is riggged to let other people do horrile things like that and get away with it. You know she has an unsecured server that got a bunch of guys in Bengazi killed, right? Some of them were gay too. Seems to me Hillary doesn’t like the gays. Me? I’d make a deal with the gays. It would be the best deal in the world. Nobody else could make such a deal. It would be yuuuuge like my hand. Because I’m smart and a businessman. I know better than to buy large gloves because they make the fingers too long. It’s a scam and I know. Because I have expwrience as a businessman. I don’t know why Hillary hates the gays so much but I’m a Christian. We’re supposed to love everybody. Hillary doesn’t love everybody. I’m not saying that. Other people are saying that. The people that don’t talk about the things. They’re saying that and I think it should be looked into. Otherwise there might be riots. And that’s my foreign policy platform. It will be the best foreign policy platform America ever had. I will make America great again.
After every Hillary attack ad say, “I know you are, but what am I?”
Be the first Republican candidate to actively court the dead vote. The Dead!?! Don’t you mean the Life Impaired, and why shouldn’t this often overlooked and discriminated against group be allowed to vote? If it’s good enough for Chicago it’s good enough for the whole country…as long as they vote Democrat.