Icebreaker: What Is Your Greatest Achievement?

Having finished “The 25 most popular icebreaker questions based on four years of data” and enjoyed the results, I’m moving on to a new list:

76 Fun Icebreaker Questions (Not all of which will be used, since some are either/or questions, which are boring.)

Your mission: answer the question in the comments with a good story.

If you don’t have a good story, you are encouraged to make one up.

What is your greatest achievement?

Never having listened to Rebecca Black’s “Friday”. That was a close call. That stupid song was everywhere for a while.

Also, I still don’t know What the Fox Says.

Random Thoughts: Pence and a Good Guy with a Gun

Why can’t we just pass some amorphic, non-specific gun control laws that magically keep bad people from obtaining one of the 400 million guns in this country?

I remember with Occupy Wall Street, they seemed to think that by making a lot of noise and getting news coverage, someone would come up with a coherent solution for the problem they could only vaguely identify.
That did not happen.

I know this is really unpopular with the right and left right now, but instead of just yelling at random problems as you see them, consider developing some sort of coherent ideology.

I don’t think the problem with gun control is lack of attention. It’s lack of any useful ideas. No solid suggestions I’ve heard sound like they’d stop a school shooting… when there are solid suggestions.

To live a good life, you must believe in things bigger than yourself, e.g., elephants.

In the more perfect world, the right and left would be so busy putting out the dumpster fires on their own sides that they wouldn’t even worry about the other.

The thing I never understood about the AR-15 is the handle on top. Why do you want to carry your gun like a lunchbox?

There’s about 400 million guns in this country. If we repealed the 2nd and 4th Amendments and went door to door confiscating guns, we could probably get that down to 360 million.

My 4yo son claimed to have enjoyed The Last Jedi afterwards, but 15 min in he said, “Is this almost over?” I knew I was in for trouble.
Anyway, he liked the porgs.

When my kids got snow cones recently, they had a choice of a dozen different flavors, so they put all the flavors into one cone. That’s basically the thinking behind Avengers: Infinity War.

I liked the one part in the trailer where the one superhero talked to the other superhero who he had never talked to before. I am very excited.
I’m pretending this is sarcasm.

Man, I wish I cared at all about college basketball. That upset sounded so exciting. But I don’t even know what UMBC stands for.
Upper Massachusetts Ball Club?

I thought it wasn’t PC to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day anymore because of how he murdered all those snakes.

I want to remind people again to join my email list to get updates on my books. First newsletter was a huge success. Some people read it. Subset of those enjoyed it. No one reported it as spam.
And you get a free story if you sign up. At least one person enjoyed it and thought it was funny. I don’t know how often you get a guarantee like that.
Anyway, the first newsletter was sort of a test one. The next one is the important one. You won’t want to miss that. You’ll feel all excluded.

My biggest fear is that after Trump people will fall back into the trap of thinking the president isn’t an idiot and should be trusted.

Billion dollar idea: It’s like Patreon, but the opposite. You sign up to take money away from people you hate.

If this were House of Cards, the season would end with Stormy Daniels as president.

It’s no fun to rag on someone if everyone is ragging on them.

Jesus said “love thy enemy”, but in politics people seem more likely to listen to Palpatine’s “only your hate can strike me down.” Sad how many people keep concluding they lost because they just weren’t angry enough when that’s the exact opposite lesson they should be learning.

I’m deathly afraid of guns which is why I keep them all locked in a safe.
One that can’t be opened from the inside.

For a long time now, people have been saying that self-driving cars are this big new things that’s going to change everything, but is there any good example of everyone predicting some revolutionary new thing and that comes true?

The NRA really should have some Hamburglar type character called the Gun Grabber. Fun!

You’re trying to be edgy? That’s adorable!

Finished the book Sapiens, interesting, but that was the most nihilist perspective I’ve since my fictional character Rico from Superego. Not only did religious people get it, but anyone who hasn’t embraced the utter pointlessness of existence.
And there were a number of times he said things I’d been saying — but from the atheist side. Such as that the modern liberal perspective is considered secular but makes absolutely no sense without the Christian concept of the soul (the foundation for equality).
Also he poked holes in that there are differences between “beliefs” and “religious beliefs.” By any useful definition, Communism is a religion that’s killed millions.
Anyway, Sapiens was interesting as looking at humans as this animal from an outsider perspective. Can’t imagine anyone reading and not getting angry about something, though.
Only part where he seemed to chicken out was discussing gender. He knocked down all the current theories on why patriarchies have always been dominant with humans, but didn’t try to come up with a theory of his own, which seemed incurious.

Why do we hate Mike Pence’s daughter making a children’s book to help raise money to stop human trafficking?

If people really thought Trump was some special threat to the Republic, they wouldn’t waste so much time going after Pence for being a “weird Christian.”

“This is the destruction of everything we hold dear. This will kill millions. This must be stopped and… Heh. Mike Pence won’t go to dinner alone with a woman who isn’t his wife. What a weirdo.”

Well, now that polygraph data is in, I might finally have to explore the possibility that Donald Trump is not a great person.

Absolutely everyone believes a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun. I don’t know why we pretend that’s controversial.

Just in case, I will illustrate how that works.
BAD GUY WITH A GUN: “I’m going to shoot people!”
GOOD GUY WITH A GUN: BANG! BANG!
BAD GUY WITH A GUN: clutching bullet wounds “Zounds! I am foiled!”
It really isn’t a science fiction scenario. There’s at least two or three examples of it recorded in human history.

Tuesday Night Open Thread

I like some old songs. But, have you every only known — or even heard — only part of a famous old song? For instance, I suspect most of you have probably heard the chorus of this song, but not the whole thing.

[The YouTube]

What’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share? It’s Tuesday Night Open Thread, and you pick the topic.

Who wants to start?

Base Oddity (Song Parody)

[High Praise! to Walruskkkch]

Base Oddity (to the tune of “Space Oddity” by David Bowie)

DNC to major Donor
DNC to major donor
Give us your dollar bills
not later but sooner.

DNC to major Donor
Commence to pledging,
a few million,
Check in the mail
and maybe a some cash too.

[spoken]
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, tax write offs.

This is the DNC
to major Donor
you’ll really help our crusade
All we ask is for you to do your fair share
Now it’s time to double down
if you dare

This is major donor to the DNC
I’m not stepping up with more
candidates you’re floating
are leftist in a most peculiar way
and I’m not feeling very “woke” today

For them
stop holding out a tin cup
I don’t want to change the world
you want to change red states to blue
but there is more you’re trying to do

Though I’ve past
you one hundred thousand bucks
I won’t your empty coffers fill
my accountant knows I sent too much and so
I’ll Tell you very very much
where to go

DNC to major donor
Our credit’s dead?,
where did things go wrong
Can you hear me, major donor?
Can you hear me, major donor?
Can you hear me, major donor?
Can you….

why are you not flowing
money to our tin cup.
the election is coming real soon
Red states we must turn blue
are you sure there is nothing you can do?

Link of the Day: Not Actually Addressing Whether the Stories Were, Indeed, Fake

Via Snopes, who are sad that liberals keep getting caught.

‘Fake News’ Smear Takes Hold Among Politicians at All Levels

Experts on the press and democracy say the cries of “fake news” could do long-term damage by sowing confusion and contempt for journalists and by undermining the media’s role as a watchdog on government and politicians. They say it’s already exacerbated the lack of trust in media by conservatives and contributed to hostility that sometimes turns violent.
[…]
“I worry about the ongoing attack on the legitimacy of the media by President Trump and some of his supporters. The press is hardly perfect, of course, but it is also an important mechanism of accountability for people in power,” said Brendan Nyhan, a professor of government at Dartmouth College. “This kind of rhetoric is potentially corrosive to trust in the media and to people’s willingness to accept information that is critical of politicians they support.”

Should’ve thought of that when you were applauding Dan Rather’s fake memos.

Oh how the liberals hate the new rules

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Icebreaker: Why Are You Here Today?

Having finished “The 25 most popular icebreaker questions based on four years of data” and enjoyed the results, I’m moving on to a new list:

76 Fun Icebreaker Questions (Not all of which will be used, since some are either/or questions, which are boring.)

Your mission: answer the question in the comments with a good story.

If you don’t have a good story, you are encouraged to make one up.

Why are you here today?

Long story involving a DeLorean, a clock tower, and Libyan plutonium. Also, sorry about your pine tree.